[stylist] fiction

Sun Jan 16 14:32:09 UTC 2011

Tidn't think it like that.  Yeah,  maybe a little more description.

-----Original Message-----
From: stylist-bounces at nfbnet.org [mailto:stylist-bounces at nfbnet.org] On
Behalf Of Bridgit Pollpeter
Sent: Sunday, January 16, 2011 12:10 AM
To: stylist at nfbnet.org
Subject: [stylist] fiction

In the first paragraph, he describes the unlady-like-squatting.  I agree
that the narrator sounds more masculine, but we are given their gender
in the beginning with that description.

I would like more characterization to make this character more
believable, but we are aware of her gender up front.

Message: 21
Date: Sat, 15 Jan 2011 10:14:34 -0600
From: "Robert Leslie Newman" <newmanrl at cox.net>
To: "'Writer's Division Mailing List'" <stylist at nfbnet.org>
Subject: Re: [stylist] fiction
Message-ID: <000f01cbb4cf$4c9e3de0$e5dab9a0$@cox.net>
Content-Type: text/plain;	charset="us-ascii"

I too enjoyed the story. And as was suggested, a little bit more info at
a few key points would be nice- I really didn't know the first character
being presented was a woman until a ways in (you'd think the reference
to the squatting thing would have been the point that tripped my
thoughts to female, but I really thought it was a guy doing that
thinking, and sure maybe being a little sexist in his description. 

(Those little add-in references of smell or sound that an author can
use, sure can add to the feel of a story.)

_______________________________________________
Writers Division web site:
http://www.nfb-writers-division.org <http://www.nfb-writers-division.org/>

stylist mailing list
stylist at nfbnet.org
http://www.nfbnet.org/mailman/listinfo/stylist_nfbnet.org
To unsubscribe, change your list options or get your account info for
stylist:
http://www.nfbnet.org/mailman/options/stylist_nfbnet.org/justin.williams2%40
gmail.com