[nfbwatlk] {Disarmed} FW: Why a blind man, his dog, and 35 passengers left an airplane

Fri Nov 29 23:12:41 UTC 2013

I'm not disputing that some people in the NFB engage in bullying, but I'd
like to examine circumstances from a slightly different angle.

When I'm afraid of a new situation and feel as if I'm not very good at
handling something, I occasionally feel bullied and intimidated by the very
fact that others handle the same circumstances with little or no difficulty.
Sometimes their enthusiasm and desire for me to achieve the same joy as they
are having can be overwhelming and can feel like criticism or bullying.
Probably it is bullying some of the time, but mostly I think it's enthusiasm
so strong that it overwhelms everything, even the capacity to feel someone
else's fear or frustration.  They just want me to enjoy what they're
enjoying and do what they can do so much that they can think or feel nothing
else.

My children attend a French school and my husband is fluently bilingual.  My
French is, to put it kindly, somewhat grammatically inventive.  There are
people in the French community who are so supportive of any attempt I make
to speak their language that they never say a syllable about my errors.
(Occasionally I've made oopses that are quite comical, such as saying "I'm
full," in a literal translation of English which means "I'm pregnant," In
French.)  Other friends in the French community correct my grammar and
pronunciation out of a sincere desire to help me express myself better.
Depending on how I'm feeling about myself that day, I respond to correction
with gratitude for the respect inherent in their desire to help me be as
good as I can be, or I seethe with embarrassment and resentment at being
shown to be incompetent.

For me, the lesson is to try to express my enthusiasm at learning new things
and the freedom learning gives me while making it clear at the same time
that we're all different.  If I know something that could bring another
freedom, what kind of a slug would I be to keep the information to myself?
I recognize that, however respectful I am and however carefully I strive to
provide information rather than making "I'm better than you" judgments, my
passion could be perceived as bullying.

There certainly is such a thing as genuine bullying.  Every human being with
a shred of decency hates hearing that anyone is being bullied.  There are
also times when bullying is in the mind, or the insecurities, of the
beholder.  

-----Original Message-----
From: nfbwatlk [mailto:nfbwatlk-bounces at nfbnet.org] On Behalf Of Lauren
Merryfield
Sent: Friday, November 29, 2013 2:03 PM
To: 'NFB of Washington Talk Mailing List'
Subject: Re: [nfbwatlk] {Disarmed} FW: Why a blind man, his dog, and 35
passengers left an airplane

Hi,
Thank you for that post. I've been bullied and belittled now and then, too,
by some NFB members, through the years. But I chose not to leave because
there are plenty of members who have not done so and they are the ones I
feel closer to and want to stay in the NFB with. But I know of quite a few
blind people who won't go anywhere near the NFB because of the bullying and
belittlement by some of its members. Some of us are not just blind, so our
circumstances are different.

 Judgmentalism can happen in any organization, sighted or blind. So I've
stayed. Now stay, hahaha.
Thanks
Lauren

For my new book go to:
www.TheresMoreThanOneWay.com
curious about thirty-one? Go to:
www.LettingTheCatOutOfTheBag.com

-----Original Message-----
From: nfbwatlk [mailto:nfbwatlk-bounces at nfbnet.org] On Behalf Of Becky
Frankeberger
Sent: Friday, November 29, 2013 7:36 AM
To: 'NFB of Washington Talk Mailing List'
Subject: Re: [nfbwatlk] {Disarmed} FW: Why a blind man, his dog, and 35
passengers left an airplane

Agree Debbie, Why do we snipe each other so harshly.  I have a friend who
has talents, who is afraid of cooking.  The NFB people in her city belittled
her so badly she won't come near or hear anything the NFB says.  In her mind
we are bullies.  Well ok, she likes me as I respect her talent. So hire
someone to do the things you can't quite do without  recoiling in fear.  Or
perhaps a very gentle approach with her watching someone  closely who is
also blind cook in the kitchen with each safety technique explained kindly.
She married a man who loves to cook, smile. Problem solved. So shut up
critics as she is now helping in the kitchen, smile.But still she just hates
anything to do with the bullies of NFB.  

Let's give our blind brothers and sisters a break, as the sighted won't. 

Becky with the smiling Jake waving a paw at Aunt Debbie for scratching his
ears on the train   

-----Original Message-----
From: nfbwatlk [mailto:nfbwatlk-bounces at nfbnet.org] On Behalf Of debby
phillips
Sent: Thursday, November 28, 2013 10:57 PM
To: NFB of Washington Talk Mailing List
Subject: Re: [nfbwatlk] {Disarmed} FW: Why a blind man, his dog, and 35
passengers left an airplane

I have had six dogs, and know that it is difficult for dogs to fly, and to
deal with long delays.  I have had my dogs stand up and put their heads in
my lap, trying to let me know how they felt.  A few pats, some soft talk and
a command to lie back down seemed to make them feel better, and nobody
objected.  I certainly could understand if the dog was walking around lose,
but as I understand it that was not the situation either.  And I think we
need to look at U.S.  Air's track record.  Did they not recently get fined
by DOJ for something that happened regarding people in wheelchairs? I'm not
saying that Mr.  Rizzi may not have handled the situation correctly-I don't
know, I wasn't there.  I also know that it is not always easy to get a dog
under a plane seat, depending on the size of the dog.  I do know that
sometimes situations escalate quickly and get out of control.  
Anything blind people do whether it's good or bad seems to get a lot of
attention.  If one of us does something the public think is wonderful we are
amazing, heroes of the day.  If a blind person does something reprehensible
then owe all are tarred with the same brush.  I will be so happy if the day
comes when we are treated as individual blind people with differing skills,
personalities, etc.  just like sighted folk have different skill levels,
personalities, or whatever.  I have been lauded as amazing because I walked
down the street with a dog or cane.  I have been ridiculed because I didn't
"cut the mustard" because I wasn't as good as some other blind person at
whatever.  We aren't all cookie cutter blind people and I wish the public
would 
consider that.    Debby

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