[nfb-talk] (no subject)

Fri May 9 21:05:28 CDT 2008

Dear Buddy and Melissa,

The NFB is a family.  You will find lots of friends here who will help you 
and help you along the Road of Life.
We are all teachers and pupils  who are here to listen and to exchange 
information that will expand our knowledge and our Worlds.
You only need to ask and it will be given.
I am 61 years old and legally blind since the age of 16.  I am happily 
married for almost 33 years and have both a daughter and a son.
I have worked and am working now.
I love to help people and see young people succeed and grow.  I hope that I 
have the opportunity to help you too.  It would be my pleasure.
Welcome to the list.

David Evans, NFBF
President, Palm Beach County Chapter Florida
Nuclear/Aerospace Materials Engineer
Builder of the Lunar Rovers and the F-117-A Stealth Fighter
Member 1968 U.S. Olympic Team
1969 N.C.A.A. National Championship Team San Jose State University
Pan American Team

----- Original Message ----- 
From: "Buddy Brannan" <buddy at brannan.name>
To: "NFB Talk Mailing List" <nfb-talk at nfbnet.org>
Sent: Thursday, May 08, 2008 2:11 PM
Subject: Re: [nfb-talk] (no subject)

> Wow! Welcome to the list, Melissa!
>
> I'm Buddy, 35, a father of one daughter, working on our second
> adoption, blind since birth. If we can be of any assistance, please
> feel free to get in touch.
>
> So, OK, here's a little tough love. Now before anyone gets too out of
> shape here, let me say this. I know I don't, and can't, understand
> what it's like to have vision and then to not have it. I know
> intellectually it must be very difficult and traumatic, and I know
> that there are adjustments to be made, and it can take some time. But
> I also know that I'll never know what that's like. So that's the
> perspective I'm coming from on this. Please understand that my aim is
> to be supportive and to empathize and be as sensitive to this as I can
> be, and I really do send these words to you with nothing but love and
> goodwill. Please accept them in that spirit.
>
> I comment below:
>
> On May 8, 2008, at 1:09 PM, Melissa Quarles wrote:
>
>>     What's up my name is Melissa I have a 4 year old child. I am 27
>> years old I lost my sight 2 years ago and I am in the process of
>> learning how to read all the braille that there is to learn and I do
>> not think I will ever get that done but I sure am going to try!
>
> I love your eagerness to learn. Not only will you try, you will
> succeed. I know it all seems very overwhelming and you probably get
> discouraged when you mix up your e's and i's and forget that dots
> 1-2-4-5-6 means ER and dots 1-2-3-4-5 means q, and how on earth is k
> short for knowledge?, but it will come, given time and practice. And a
> shift in attitude. You will get it. Your speed and retention of your
> braille will do nothing but get better. It's like learning anything
> else. It's really hard when you're first learning, but it gets easier
> the more you use it. So hang in there, you're doing great!
>
>
>> I love the outdoors I used to train horses and work with a vet
>> before I lost my sight but now I am nothing.
>
> Whoa! Put on the brakes, lady. You most certainly are not nothing. You
> are the same person you were before you lost your eyesight. You can
> still enjoy the outdoors. You can still work with horses. Given the
> right training and alternative techniques and adaptations, not to
> mention a forward-thinking and cooperative vet, you can still assist
> with that! Your only limitations are your lack of know-how and
> experience and you. You can fix the first one easily enough by getting
> the right training and learning good alternative techniques of
> blindness, then practicing them. The second is fixable, too, but it
> will take time, and probably some conscious effort. You can do
> anything you choose. You just have to first believe a thing is
> possible, then go about figuring out how it can be done. Think horses
> are right out for you? Get ahold of our equestrian division. But
> before you do anything else, you'd better rethink your position on
> you: now that you are blind, you are not nothing. You are still
> Melissa Quarles. You are still exactly who you were, only older, one
> presumes wiser, and now you just can't see anymore, so you have to
> learn new ways to deal with the world around you. It's a change. Sure,
> it's more of a change than most people have to swallow, but life is
> change. You are nothing if that's what you choose. I hope you choose
> differently.
>
>> If anyone knows how I can get started again I am open to
>> suggestions. I have found it very hard and heart breaking when
>> people turn you away when they find out you can not see.
>
> Melissa, I'm afraid that your heart won't ever finish breaking on that
> score. Mine breaks every time it happens to me, and I have a lot more
> experience at being blind than you do. When others reject you and
> don't recognize that you are a whole person, it's heartbreaking and it
> can bring you down. Sometimes it's just too much to handle, and you
> think, maybe I just won't get up again, it hurts too much. Or maybe
> you just get angry and stay down angry. We've all been there. But
> eventually, we have to get up and do it again. And again. And again.
> And no matter how thick our skins get, we still get our hearts broken.
> But sometimes, we don't, and those times make the other times worth
> the pain and the getting back up again. It may sound trite, but truly,
> honestly, when you face the heartbreak of rejection, keep going
> anyway. Sure, it's OK to grieve your loss. It's OK to be angry and
> discouraged when you're knocked down. But you have to push it aside
> and go on. It's a heavy weight to carry if you let it settle on you
> too long, and then you really will be in trouble because people will
> push you aside, not because you're blind, but because you're bitter.
> Mind you, let's not confuse assertiveness or confidence with anger.
> You're still entitled to be grumpy and have a bad day, and don't you
> dare let anyone tell you you can't. But better days must come, too.
> So, let's see what can be done about getting you back in with the
> horses and hiking and climbing and playing with slobbery animals, not
> to mention reading and all that other stuff. And let's see what we can
> do to help you change your mind.
>
>> --
>
> Buddy Brannan, KB5ELV - Erie, PA
> Phone: (814) 746-4502 or 888-75-BUDDY
> Harnessing the power of Online Spending and Everyday Shopping to
> Change Lives: See how, Together, We Can Change the World: 
> http://www.powermall.info
>
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