[nfb-talk] (no subject)

Thu May 8 13:57:32 CDT 2008

Melissa;
Welcome to the list.  I love horses too.  There is one very bright side
to this picture.  After you learn braille and good mobility skills, just
think, you already know how to care for the horses.  It is to find
another blind friend to assist you in adapting your methods so they can
be done by tutch and the use of a cane or guide dog, instead of sight.
If there are others out there caring for beautiful horses, than think
positive, and you will be able too.  You will begin to know your horses
by their own sounds and tectures of their coats and they will come to
you, like they are your friend.
Get in tutch with the other group and keep us posted on your success.
Hope to meet you in Dallas or if not this year than next.

Terry Powers from MD

-----Original Message-----
From: Buddy Brannan [mailto:buddy at brannan.name] 
Sent: Thursday, May 08, 2008 2:12 PM
To: NFB Talk Mailing List
Subject: Re: [nfb-talk] (no subject)

Wow! Welcome to the list, Melissa!

I'm Buddy, 35, a father of one daughter, working on our second adoption,
blind since birth. If we can be of any assistance, please feel free to
get in touch.

So, OK, here's a little tough love. Now before anyone gets too out of
shape here, let me say this. I know I don't, and can't, understand what
it's like to have vision and then to not have it. I know intellectually
it must be very difficult and traumatic, and I know that there are
adjustments to be made, and it can take some time. But I also know that
I'll never know what that's like. So that's the perspective I'm coming
from on this. Please understand that my aim is to be supportive and to
empathize and be as sensitive to this as I can be, and I really do send
these words to you with nothing but love and goodwill. Please accept
them in that spirit.

I comment below:

On May 8, 2008, at 1:09 PM, Melissa Quarles wrote:

>     What's up my name is Melissa I have a 4 year old child. I am 27 
> years old I lost my sight 2 years ago and I am in the process of 
> learning how to read all the braille that there is to learn and I do 
> not think I will ever get that done but I sure am going to try!

I love your eagerness to learn. Not only will you try, you will succeed.
I know it all seems very overwhelming and you probably get discouraged
when you mix up your e's and i's and forget that dots
1-2-4-5-6 means ER and dots 1-2-3-4-5 means q, and how on earth is k
short for knowledge?, but it will come, given time and practice. And a
shift in attitude. You will get it. Your speed and retention of your
braille will do nothing but get better. It's like learning anything
else. It's really hard when you're first learning, but it gets easier
the more you use it. So hang in there, you're doing great!

> I love the outdoors I used to train horses and work with a vet before 
> I lost my sight but now I am nothing.

Whoa! Put on the brakes, lady. You most certainly are not nothing. You
are the same person you were before you lost your eyesight. You can
still enjoy the outdoors. You can still work with horses. Given the
right training and alternative techniques and adaptations, not to
mention a forward-thinking and cooperative vet, you can still assist
with that! Your only limitations are your lack of know-how and
experience and you. You can fix the first one easily enough by getting
the right training and learning good alternative techniques of
blindness, then practicing them. The second is fixable, too, but it will
take time, and probably some conscious effort. You can do anything you
choose. You just have to first believe a thing is possible, then go
about figuring out how it can be done. Think horses are right out for
you? Get ahold of our equestrian division. But before you do anything
else, you'd better rethink your position on
you: now that you are blind, you are not nothing. You are still Melissa
Quarles. You are still exactly who you were, only older, one presumes
wiser, and now you just can't see anymore, so you have to learn new ways
to deal with the world around you. It's a change. Sure, it's more of a
change than most people have to swallow, but life is change. You are
nothing if that's what you choose. I hope you choose differently.

> If anyone knows how I can get started again I am open to suggestions. 
> I have found it very hard and heart breaking when people turn you away

> when they find out you can not see.

Melissa, I'm afraid that your heart won't ever finish breaking on that
score. Mine breaks every time it happens to me, and I have a lot more
experience at being blind than you do. When others reject you and don't
recognize that you are a whole person, it's heartbreaking and it can
bring you down. Sometimes it's just too much to handle, and you think,
maybe I just won't get up again, it hurts too much. Or maybe you just
get angry and stay down angry. We've all been there. But eventually, we
have to get up and do it again. And again. And again.  
And no matter how thick our skins get, we still get our hearts broken.  
But sometimes, we don't, and those times make the other times worth the
pain and the getting back up again. It may sound trite, but truly,
honestly, when you face the heartbreak of rejection, keep going anyway.
Sure, it's OK to grieve your loss. It's OK to be angry and discouraged
when you're knocked down. But you have to push it aside and go on. It's
a heavy weight to carry if you let it settle on you too long, and then
you really will be in trouble because people will push you aside, not
because you're blind, but because you're bitter.  
Mind you, let's not confuse assertiveness or confidence with anger.  
You're still entitled to be grumpy and have a bad day, and don't you
dare let anyone tell you you can't. But better days must come, too.
So, let's see what can be done about getting you back in with the horses
and hiking and climbing and playing with slobbery animals, not to
mention reading and all that other stuff. And let's see what we can do
to help you change your mind.

> --

Buddy Brannan, KB5ELV - Erie, PA
Phone: (814) 746-4502 or 888-75-BUDDY
Harnessing the power of Online Spending and Everyday Shopping to Change
Lives: See how, Together, We Can Change the World:
http://www.powermall.info

_______________________________________________
nfb-talk mailing list
nfb-talk at nfbnet.org
http://www.nfbnet.org/mailman/listinfo/nfb-talk
To unsubscribe, change your list options or get your account info for
nfb-talk:
http://www.nfbnet.org/mailman/options/nfb-talk/powerst%40dcpcepn.nci.nih
.gov