[nfb-talk] New THOUGHT PROVOKER #132- Stages In Adjusting To Blindness

[Robert Leslie Newman]

NFBtalk listers
RE:  Stages In Adjusting to Blindness

The main character in this TP is newly blinded and he is seeing a therapist
and is being told that he needs to go through various stages of adjustment
and if he doesn't, then it can lead to trouble. See what you think about
this one. If you have not read the PROVOKER, it follows.  Recall that I
collect responses and post them upon my web site for all the WWW to read and
learn from and that URL is- Http://thoughtprovoker.info  If you wish to
receive THOUGHT PROVOKERS sent directly to you, just write me and ask, at-
newmanrl at cox.net 

THOUGHT PROVOKER 132
Stages In Adjusting to Blindness

9 "I'm blind and I know I have a challenge to face. But, I feel lucky I
didn't die," said Jerry. He was talking to a therapist, explaining how he
felt. This was his sixth visit since his release from the hospital; the car
accident that had caused his blindness had happened two months ago. The
therapist had just asked, again, how he felt about losing his sight. Jerry
thought he knew why this guy was hitting on this question, even so he was
starting to get irritated with it. 

The therapist tried a new tact. "In the past, have you ever experienced a
significant loss? Like the death of someone close to you?"

Okay. Jerry thought, he'd go down this path. "There was my grandpa; my dad's
dad." 

"Tell me about that," the therapist prompted.

Jerry sat back in his chair, expelled his breath, trying not to sound
frustrated. After all, he knew this guy was trying to help him. "My grandpa
and I were close. I was the only grandkid that had red hair like him. And he
and I really hit it off . you know, he'd bring me special little gifts, take
me places with him. And one day I was expecting him to come over and he
didn't show. I could tell my parents were hiding something. When other
people started showing up, they told me."

"What did they tell you?"

"That grandpa wasn't coming, not any more. He got sick and the angels took
him to heaven."

"How did you feel about that?"

Jerry took his time to think through how he would phrase his answer. He
wanted to be as honest as he could. But suspecting it might not be enough
for this guy. "Well . I was only five. Sad, I guess. I mean, I'm sure my
parents did their best to break the news to me, and you know help me with
it." 

"You were pretty young. Do you remember anything more?"

"Well ." Jerry felt he had to say more and went with what he recalled was
big about that whole thing, back when he was so small, "I missed him. We had
fun together."

The therapist tried again. "Anything else happen more recent?"

"No, not really," Jerry said and he thought it was about time he addressed
what he was feeling about this line of questioning the therapist was taking.
"Look, I know you want me to tell you that I'm sad or pissed-	
	off because of what has happened to me. But what I feel is that it
could have been worse, the car could have killed me instead of just blinding
me!" That had come out with more heat then expected and he wasn't sure he
cared.

"Jerry, I haven't been confrontational with you yet, but I think you know
what I'm probing for here. I've yet to see you as you say, sad or pissed-off
about losing your sight. And frankly, that has me concerned. so yeah I'm
wondering why you aren't showing any of these things. And understand, it's
natural to feel these emotions." 

"Well, I don't feel that way. It's not like I am dealing with a death, just
the opposite, I'm grateful to be alive. And I don't know what I can do to
convince you that it is the truth," Jerry said.

The therapist was silent for a moment, thinking. "Well, I hear you. I just
think you are not letting loose. My job is to help you make this change that
has been forced upon you. I'm not picking on you, I'm treating you like an
average guy and the average guy feels something when they lose something as
significant as their eye sight. And your right, it is like adjusting to a
death, there are stages to work through; denial, anger, bargaining,
acceptance. So again, getting emotional right now is okay, you work through
it and it passes and you do go on with your life. But carry any amount of
these unresolved stages along with you and it can get in your way, prevent
you from the level of success you rightfully can achieve."


Robert Leslie Newman
E-Mail- newmanrl at cox.net
Web Site- thoughtprovoker.info

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New THOUGHT PROVOKER #132- Stages In Adjusting To Blindness
NFBtalk listers
RE:  Stages In Adjusting to Blindness
The main character in this TP is newly blinded and he is seeing a therapist and is being told that he needs to go through various stages of adjustment and if he doesn't, then it can lead to trouble. See what you think about this one. If you have not read the PROVOKER, it follows.  Recall that I collect responses and post them upon my web site for all the WWW to read and learn from and that URL is-
Http://thoughtprovoker.info
Http://thoughtprovoker.info
  If you wish to receive THOUGHT PROVOKERS sent directly to you, just write me and ask, at-  newmanrl at cox.net
THOUGHT PROVOKER 132
Stages In Adjusting to Blindness
9 “I’m blind and I know I have a challenge to face. But, I feel lucky I didn't die,” said Jerry. He was talking to a therapist, explaining how he felt. This was his sixth visit since his release from the hospital; the car accident that had caused his blindness had happened two months ago. The therapist had just asked, again, how he felt about losing his sight. Jerry thought he knew why this guy was hitting on this question, even so he was starting to get irritated with it.
The therapist tried a new tact. “In the past, have you ever experienced a significant loss? Like the death of someone close to you?"
Okay. Jerry thought, he’d go down this path. "There was my grandpa; my dad's dad."
"Tell me about that," the therapist prompted.
Jerry sat back in his chair, expelled his breath, trying not to sound frustrated. After all, he knew this guy was trying to help him. "My grandpa and I were close. I was the only grandkid that had red hair like him. And he and I really hit it off … you know, he'd bring me special little gifts, take me places with him. And one day I was expecting him to come over and he didn't show. I could tell my parents were hiding something. When other people started showing up, they told me."
"What did they tell you?"
"That grandpa wasn't coming, not any more. He got sick and the angels took him to heaven."
"How did you feel about that?”
Jerry took his time to think through how he would phrase his answer. He wanted to be as honest as he could. But suspecting it might not be enough for this guy. "Well … I was only five. Sad, I guess. I mean, I'm sure my parents did their best to break the news to me, and you know help me with it.”
"You were pretty young. Do you remember anything more?"
“Well …” Jerry felt he had to say more and went with what he recalled was big about that whole thing, back when he was so small, “I missed him. We had fun together.”
The therapist tried again. "Anything else happen more recent?"
"No, not really," Jerry said and he thought it was about time he addressed what he was feeling about this line of questioning the therapist was taking. "Look, I know you want me to tell you that I'm sad or pissed-  
       
off because of what has happened to me. But what I feel is that it could have been worse, the car could have killed me instead of just blinding me!" That had come out with more heat then expected and he wasn't sure he cared.
"Jerry, I haven't been confrontational with you yet, but I think you know what I'm probing for here. I've yet to see you as you say, sad or pissed-off about losing your sight. And frankly, that has me concerned. so yeah I'm wondering why you aren't showing any of these things. And understand, it's natural to feel these emotions."
"Well, I don't feel that way. It's not like I am dealing with a death, just the opposite, I'm grateful to be alive. And I don't know what I can do to convince you that it is the truth," Jerry said.
The therapist was silent for a moment, thinking. "Well, I hear you. I just think you are not letting loose. My job is to help you make this change that has been forced upon you. I'm not picking on you, I'm treating you like an average guy and the average guy feels something when they lose something as significant as their eye sight. And your right, it is like adjusting to a death, there are stages to work through; denial, anger, bargaining, acceptance. So again, getting emotional right now is okay, you work through it and it passes and you do go on with your life. But carry any amount of these unresolved stages along with you and it can get in your way, prevent you from the level of success you rightfully can achieve."
Robert Leslie Newman
E-Mail- newmanrl at cox.net
Web Site- thoughtprovoker.info