[nfb-talk] Domestic violence Division?

Tue Oct 2 17:29:41 CDT 2007

I wish I could write such an article. I am not much of a writer, but I 
believe my belief and the teachings of the Federation are the reason I am no 
longer in an abusive situation. I have been in physically abusive 
relationships in my younger days, but I use to be drawn to sighted men who 
controlled me and screamed at me and put me down to get their point of 
superiority across. The last such relationship lasted for 6 and a half years 
and it should have only lasted a year at most. I do not blame him or anyone 
else. In fact I really don't blame myself, I just know I made the incorrect 
choice and I will never look back. I had to stop being afraid of taking care 
of myself financially and had to stop being afraid of success which is what 
I suppose I now have. I bet there are a lot out there like me and an article 
would be really cool!
----- Original Message ----- 
From: "Michael Bullis" <mabullis at hotmail.com>
To: "'NFB Talk Mailing List'" <nfb-talk at nfbnet.org>
Sent: Tuesday, October 02, 2007 6:07 PM
Subject: Re: [nfb-talk] Domestic violence Division?


> Sheri's point is a valid one about there being two subjects here.  I
> responded to the mugging issues and was frankly not paying close attention
> to the subject line of the message.  So, the other question is whether NFB
> is conscious of domestic violence issues and should there be a division 
> for
> the matter?
>
> My observation and reading suggest that one of the main factors in being
> vulnerable to domestic violence is a self image that allows it.  To use an
> antiquated phrase, it's usually a very low self image.  Given that most
> blind people are told as they grow up that they are second class, 
> incapable
> of managing their lives, that their decisions should always be 
> subordinated
> to those of others--particularly the sighted, and so on, I would suspect
> that blind people fall into a class that has more domestic violence and
> abuse than the norm.
>
> One of the things we strive to help blind people come to understand, as 
> part
> of our philosophy, is that they are not second class and their decisions 
> are
> valid and important.  I know of no other organization in the blindness 
> field
> that has more material on self worth and competence than the NFB.  It is 
> at
> the core of everything we do.  More than any accusation made of us is the
> one that we are to militant about our rights and about the rights of 
> people
> who are blind.
>
> Each of us as blind people daily struggle with old attitudes and incorrect
> images of blindness in our own lives.  Not only do we struggle with 
> society,
> we struggle within ourselves as we seek to weed out incorrect beliefs we
> have.
>
> Having said all this, I would still say that a Division isn't an answer 
> that
> appeals to me.  I would though like to see a Monitor article from somebody
> who feels that the greater awareness they have gained from the Federation
> has helped them recognize an abusive situation and stand up for 
> themselves.
>
> We always struggle in the Federation with the issues we take on.  If we
> focus, for example, on domestic violence, the casual reader will jump to
> very wrong conclusions.  The thinking will go like this.  "Of course 
> they're
> victimized more than others, after all they're blind."  Or:  "Poor blind
> people.  They can't even take care of themselves in a relationship."
>
> So, I would be uncomfortable with newspaper articles by kind but misguided
> reporters on how blindness makes people vulnerable to domestic violence. 
> I
> would however hope that we are all aware of situations in our affiliates 
> and
> do whatever we can to assist anyone in seeing themselves as better than to
> receive abuse, whether they be sighted, blind, female, male, or the member
> of some other minority class.
>
> Mike Bullis
>
>
>
> -----Original Message-----
> From: nfb-talk-bounces at nfbnet.org [mailto:nfb-talk-bounces at nfbnet.org] On
> Behalf Of Sheri Wells-Jensen
> Sent: Tuesday, October 02, 2007 5:17 PM
> To: NFB Talk Mailing List
> Subject: Re: [nfb-talk] Domestic violence Division?
>
> Mike and all,
>
> It's important to separate the two kinds of violence we're talking about
> here since they need to be addressed in very different ways:
>
> I have no clear idea whether blind folks are more or les likely to be 
> mugged
> than sighted folks in general: probably about the same if you take this as 
> a
> measure of the number of pedestrians robbed or attacked by strangers 
> rather
> than the number of people in general who may or may not be found walking 
> as
> opposed to driving cars. An argument can be made that a self-defense class
> (or several) might help in these cases.
>
> The other kind of violence is systematic and occurs within the confines of
> an intimate relationship: between spouses or lovers for example.  there 
> are
> stats to show that there are classes of people who are more vulnerable 
> here:
>
> anyone, for example with limited transportation options or who is under
> economic stress.  A self-defense class isn't the answer in these cases.
>
> It's not my intention to start a discussion of what causes domestic 
> violence
> in general. Rather, I meant to ask whether the NFB might already be 
> thinking
> about this issue since eric broughtit up.
>
> Peace,
>
> Sheri W-J
>
> ----- Original Message -----
> From: "Michael Bullis" <mabullis at hotmail.com>
> To: "'NFB Talk Mailing List'" <nfb-talk at nfbnet.org>
> Sent: Tuesday, October 02, 2007 4:04 PM
> Subject: Re: [nfb-talk] Domestic violence Division?
>
>
>>A new division is seldom the answer to what ails.  You rightly point out
>>the
>> options such as  self defense training.  I think it also comes down to
>> good
>> training.  Blind people who walk around with their heads down and
>> hesitantly
>> are probably more vulnerable to attack than others.  I think that sighted
>> people who walk around like this are also victimized more often as well.
>> Often local police forces have self defense training which involves how 
>> to
>> keep onesself from looking like a victim or a target.
>>
>> Again though, I don't think the problem of blind people being mugged has
>> ever been demonstrated to be greater than among the sighted population.
>> So,
>> I would suggest that a monitor article describing the problem and some
>> solutions might be in order.
>> Mike Bullis
>> -----Original Message-----
>> From: nfb-talk-bounces at nfbnet.org [mailto:nfb-talk-bounces at nfbnet.org] On
>> Behalf Of Sheri Wells-Jensen
>> Sent: Tuesday, October 02, 2007 3:36 PM
>> To: NFB Talk Mailing List
>> Subject: Re: [nfb-talk] Domestic violence Division?
>>
>> Hello, Folks,
>> If we mean domestic violence as it is usually defined (violence between
>> intimate partners), it's certainly the case that women with any kind of
>> disability are more vulnerable than general statistics might suggest. 
>> I'm
>> not sure if a division as such is what is needed, but it would be nice to
>> know if the NFB has any kind of resources for women caught in such
>> relationships.
>> Peace,
>>
>> Sheri W-J
>>
>>
>>
>> ----- Original Message -----
>> From: "Eric Calhoun" <eric at pmpmail.com>
>> To: <nfb-talk at nfbnet.org>
>> Sent: Tuesday, October 02, 2007 1:18 PM
>> Subject: [nfb-talk] Domestic violence Division?
>>
>>
>>> Is there any interest in starting a Domestic Violence Division of the
>>> National Federation of the Blind?  Too many times we hear of blind 
>>> people
>>> get accosted, either because they have had no self-defense training, or
>>> people feel that, "i won't _ever happen to me!"  Women are the most
>>> vulnerable for getting mugged.
>>>
>>> Earlier, Nfb of Florida members were horrified to learn that one of 
>>> their
>>> leaders was being robbed and attacked.
>>>
>>> Any comments from the membership please?
>>>
>>> Eric
>>> -
>>>
>>> _______________________________________________
>>> nfb-talk mailing list
>>> nfb-talk at nfbnet.org
>>> http://www.nfbnet.org/mailman/listinfo/nfb-talk
>>
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>
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