[nfb-talk] question

Sun Jun 3 15:54:19 CDT 2007

Well I think this is an interesting topic so I will weigh in on this one 
too. I spent many years with a sighted person and I have always felt that we 
should and will always be equal. I never believed in "keeping the peace" 
just because they are sighted. That would imply that somehow they were above 
me and I refuse to be beneath a man that I am dating/engaged to/married to. 
I now am engaged to a blind person and right or wrong I feel that we have a 
much better relationship than I have had previously. I am not sure if it 
because we share the same issues and understanding or if it could be 
something else. Anyways, back to the question at hand. I feel that your 
friend should not allow himself to become dependent on another's kindness. I 
think that even if we as blind folks have a sighted friend that is willing 
to do things for us, we need to show them and ourselves that we are still 
independent and on an equal footing. Your wife however should really take a 
look at the real reason she does not like your friend. If your friend has 
loaned money and time and you have had a give and take relationship with him 
then it should not be the big deal that it seems to be and I agree with Dar 
that a gal needs ladies to hang with from time to time. We need to be with 
other girl friends so that we don't feel like one of the boys all the time. 
She needs to remember that you were blind when you met her and that you most 
likely will be for a while and your friends are too. If she wanted to be in 
a relationship where driving was shared she picked the wrong one. But like 
everyone here has said open communication is a must!
As far as moving to OR is concerned, I once made the mistake of leaving a 
good job because my sighted x wanted to move to another city. I had a 
terrible time finding another job and we were miserable in our new city. I 
will never make that choice again. We have a much harder time finding work 
than the sighted do. Even if they do not find a job in their field they can 
virtually work anywhere for a short time.
HTH
Kaye
----- Original Message ----- 
From: "dmgina" <dmgina at qwest.net>
To: "NFB Talk Mailing List" <nfb-talk at nfbnet.org>
Sent: Sunday, June 03, 2007 4:37 PM
Subject: Re: [nfb-talk] question


> Yes I don't blame you for this one.
> It takes us quite some time to get a job.
> I hope you like it and can have it for quite some time.
> You can't have it both ways.
> Move and not have a job rite away?
> Or get a job.
> So she has to decide what she would like for you to do.
> And then you will have to decide, to say either I stay here and work for 
> us,
> or we move and I can't promise a job.
> We also have to look at age.
> Something tells me, we are not getting younger smile.
>
>
> --Dar
> http://www.mypowermall.com/Biz/Home/5779
> Every Saint has a future,
> Every sinner has a past
> ----- Original Message ----- 
> From: "Corey Cook" <cooklists at bellsouth.net>
> To: "NFB Talk Mailing List" <nfb-talk at nfbnet.org>
> Sent: Saturday, June 02, 2007 11:16 PM
> Subject: Re: [nfb-talk] question
>
>
>> don't get me wrong I would love to move to oregon, no Hurricanes, no real
>> humid heat.
>> but I would have to know I had a job offer before moving.
>> My job is important to me.
>>
>> Corey Cook
>> corey_cook at bellsouth.net
>>
>> Live Journal
>> http://vanguardman.livejournal.com/
>> Xanga
>> http://www.xanga.com/ciu_nice_guy
>> AIM
>> goldadore922
>> MSN
>> romans815 at earthlink.net
>>
>> ----- Original Message ----- 
>> From: "Sekhon, Harmeet" <Harmeet_Sekhon at cable.comcast.com>
>> To: "NFB Talk Mailing List" <nfb-talk at nfbnet.org>
>> Sent: Saturday, June 02, 2007 11:30 AM
>> Subject: Re: [nfb-talk] question
>>
>>
>> Well, Oregon would be glad to have you two, but I can understand the
>> need to hold onto that job too.
>>
>> Harmeet
>>
>> -----Original Message-----
>> From: nfb-talk-bounces at nfbnet.org [mailto:nfb-talk-bounces at nfbnet.org]
>> On Behalf Of Corey Cook
>> Sent: Friday, June 01, 2007 11:08 PM
>> To: NFB Talk Mailing List
>> Subject: Re: [nfb-talk] question
>>
>> that is what I am doing at this point is trying to keep the peace.
>> because we are working threw bigger issues.
>> Like her wanting us to move to Oregon just 5 months after I got a job!
>>
>> Corey Cook
>> corey_cook at bellsouth.net
>>
>> Live Journal
>> http://vanguardman.livejournal.com/
>> Xanga
>> http://www.xanga.com/ciu_nice_guy
>> AIM
>> goldadore922
>> MSN
>> romans815 at earthlink.net
>>
>> ----- Original Message ----- 
>> From: "David Andrews" <dandrews at visi.com>
>> To: "NFB Talk Mailing List" <nfb-talk at nfbnet.org>
>> Sent: Saturday, June 02, 2007 1:57 AM
>> Subject: Re: [nfb-talk] question
>>
>>
>> I understand your feelings, and intellectually I would agree that it
>> should
>> have been ok for him to ride.  However, having been married to a sighted
>>
>> woman once, I will also say that you sometimes have to do things to keep
>>
>> peace in the family that you may not be completely comfortable with.
>> Hopefully over time you can talk it through with her and reach a palce
>> that
>> is comfortable with you both.
>>
>> There are tricky issues with sighted wives, driving, dependency,
>> independence, and other issues.  It isn't always simple or logical.  And
>> for
>> her it may have to do as much with your and her relationship as with
>> driving.
>>
>> Sorry I don't have a better answer.
>>
>> Dave
>>
>> At 12:42 AM 6/2/2007, you wrote:
>>>Hey all,
>>>This is Corey Cook.
>>>I am looking for a little input from some other blind folks.
>>>As some of you know I am married to a sighted wife.
>>>We currently live in an apartment complex here in SC that has several
>> other
>>>blind folks here. The reason all of the blind ones are here is because
>> we
>>>all work for the same company.
>>>I am really good friends with one of the guys I work with and ever
>> since we
>>>moved in here he has been a big help to me and my wife.
>>>   We have also helped him a lot since we have been here. You know
>> asking
>>>him if he wants to go with us to walmart and out and about when we go
>> out.
>>>Lately we have cut back on taking him out a lot because it was getting
>> on
>>>my
>>>wife's nerves that he seemed to always be with us when we went
>> anywhere.
>>>   I can understand that because it is nice to just have couple time
>> now
>>> and
>>>then, but tonight something happened that really kind of got under my
>> skin.
>>>My wife and I had planned to go and see a movie tonight, and my friend
>>>asked
>>>if he could ride to the theater with us so he could see a different
>> movie
>>>that was playing at the same time.
>>>   Lets just say that my wife threw a big fit, and got mad that he
>> wanted
>>> to
>>>ride with us. I did not see a reason for a fit or any anger, as he did
>> not
>>>want to go to our movie but just wanted a ride so he could see a movie
>>>also.
>>>   As a blind person I did not think there was anything wrong with this
>> as
>>>we were going to the theater and it cost like 14$ for cab fair, so why
>> not
>>>just let him ride in our car, and both movies were equal in length.
>>>   So I am looking for thoughts, on this. I could have understood if he
>> was
>>>trying to crash our movie but it was just a ride.
>>>   All of a sudden my wife has decided she does not like a person who
>> has
>>>been our friend ever since we moved here, someone who has loaned us
>> money,
>>>when I had not started working yet, someone who is always willing to
>> help
>>>us
>>>out with anything he can do.
>>>
>>>_______________________________________________
>>>nfb-talk mailing list
>>>nfb-talk at nfbnet.org
>>>http://www.nfbnet.org/mailman/listinfo/nfb-talk
>>>
>>>
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