[nfb-talk] About myself for David and anyone else interested.

[David Evans]

Dear Helene,

You did not bore me.  In fact you have inspired me.
Listening to all of the barriers you have overcome to get to where you are
now is both sobering and inspiring.
I was very lucky that I always had my parents supporting me and encouraging
me.
I have faced depression myself and in my family.  My mother had at least 3
nervous breakdowns in my childhood.  She had some many medical problems it
would read like a medical encyclopedia.  She was so addicted to prescription
drugs, because of pain and her many medical conditions it is not to be
believed.  She died 3 times in her life and was brought back.  Once after
nearly 20 minutes.  She even had a out of body experience and said she saw
herself laying dead in the bed with doctors working over her.  She even said
that she heard a voice calling her and a blinding bright light that she was
drawn toward.
After she recovered she said that she was not afraid of dieing anymore.  She
became more religious after that and so did my father.
Later, the both of them began to minister to people in prison and in the
hospital.
Her depression seemed to go away after that near death experience.
I know I still get depressed from time to time, usually over money matters
or relationships, but it passes.  I have found that what works for me is
looking around for some one else to help.  I find it hard to be depressed
and feel sorry for myself when I am engaged with trying to help someone else
that I think has it worst than I do.
Two weeks ago, my Lion's Club had a Xmas Party for Blind children and I met
one of the families as I was serving as the greeter and person getting the
families to sign in.
The mother of this family, Stacy,  spoke to me and I asked if there was
anything that we, the lions or the NFB could do to help the family beyond
the Xmas Party.
She told me her story.
She was married twice and both husbands had died.  One by car accident and
the second one by taking his own life after finding out one of his daughters
had a incurable medical condition and his wife had cancer.
The mother had her own problems too.  She had cancer and had to have a full
hysterectomy and just had both breast removed.
Now the oldest girl is legally blind and is losing her ability to even walk
and will soon be confined to a wheelchair.  She will die with in a few
years.  
Her younger sister, has just now been found to have the same terminal
condition too and is near legal blindness too.  .
The mother and children are living with her parents and they have a two
story house and will need to have a lift installed to be able to get the
wheelchairs up and down as the older child has already fallen down the
stairs twice.  She is only 14 years old now.  
The lift will cost about $20,000 dollars and the motorized wheelchairs will
cost nearly $30,000 dollars each plus the house will need ramps and wider
doors installed and a wheelchair lift equipped vehicle will also be needed
at some point.

I was left a gasp.  I could only tell her that I would do whatever I could.
I sent an e-mail to a media contact I have with our local Channel 5 TV news.
He said that he would contact her and see what he could do after checking
her story out.
He did.  He did a whole piece on her plight and situation and got a bank
account set up for donations to help.
A nurse with a Plastic surgeon saw her story and asked the doctor she worked
for if he could help.  Infact, she got the whole staff to donate their time
and services and got a hospital to donate the place and materials to do a
full reconstruction surgery on Stacy so she will feel her body is whole
again.
The operation would have cost $60,000 Dollars normally.
The bank account has already taken in over $10,000 from people who saw her
story on TV and we think more will come in now that the doctor has come
forward to help the mother.
Sometimes, we do not realize the power we have to make a difference in
people's lives.  Some times we will never know how much of an effect we have
had.  We just must be hopeful and try to do what we can, where we can
because none of us knows how long we will be here.  It all starts with just
one person making a difference and then another and another.  Before you
know it the World has changed.

Thinking of you.  I can not help think of another lady who was born not far
from where I was in the State of Alabama.  She was born totally deaf and
blind.  She was Helen Keller.  Her own story is inspiring enough, but she
did something else that is still making a difference today.  She attended a
gentleman's business club and asked them to become the Knights of the Blind.
Wal la   The International Lion's Clubs were born and took up Helen's cause.
Today the Lion's Clubs have over one and a half million members World wide.
All of them just trying to make a difference.  I think that I will always
think of her every time I think of you., and I will care.    
Well, I have some work I have to do now, but I enjoyed getting your post.
I wish you the best in the coming year and look forward to talking with you
again soon.  Go forth and make your own difference.  

Your friend across the pond,

David Evans, NFBF
Palm Beach County Chapter  President
!

-----Original Message-----
From: nfb-talk-bounces at nfbnet.org [mailto:nfb-talk-bounces at nfbnet.org] On
Behalf Of helene ryles
Sent: Sunday, December 30, 2007 10:34 AM
To: nfb-talk at nfbnet.org
Subject: [nfb-talk] About myself for David and anyone else interested.

Hi David, 
   
  No you didn't bore me. I hope you can say the same after I've finished,
but you did ask about my background. So here goes: 
   
  I am 37.  I was born prematurely with thyroid defficency, mild Asperger
syndrome and mild deafness which deteriated gradually.  I am now profoundly
deaf. I was born in Newzealand, spent 2 years in Australia and moved to
europe at the age of 3.  My folks travelled a lot in France and England. (My
mum is french and my dad is English).They didn't settle down until I started
school.  I went to a special school.    It was basically just a dumping
ground for all the kids, for what ever reason weren't doing too well in
mainstream.  I education was also suplimented at home as my dad was a
teacher.  When my dad realised that I wasn't going to take any exams I was
moved back to mainstream education.  I was bullied so much in the first high
school that I had to leave. I then moved to a Partial hearing Unit. I made
friends with the other deaf kids but we were taught using the oral only
aproach which I am totally against as I was hoping to learn sign language. 
   
  I started losing my sight at  age 17.  I was at Doncaster Deaf college. I
more or less went to pieces. Especially since nobody could find anything
physically wrong with my sight and it's still a mystery as to how and why it
happened. This isn't the first time I suffered from Depression. I also went
through a really bad patch when I went to mainstream school. I kept fighting
with the other kids and started self harming there. Anyway life was hell, I
left the deaf college, went to a couple of blind colleges, went to a unit
for deaf with mental health problems,  and still managed to be awarded a
   deaf achievers award while training for my first guide dog Bruce. My life
is very much like a game of snakes and ladders, I'll climb, I even manage to
get a few volentary jobs, and then depression strikes again and I loose
everything. Deafblindness is no big deal compaired to Depression. 
   
  I also tended to move around a lot.  I left home because mum and I
completely failed to get on. She struggled with depression as long as I knew
her although she tried to deny it while I was growing up.  After getting
seperated from Dad we were very poor as she could never get  a job. She died
of cancer 3 years ago. 
   
  I eventually ended up in Peterbough. I had a volentary job working as a
masseur at the local day centre mainly for people with learning
difficulties. I also went to pottery classes and ended up doing a couple of
charity treks for Guide dog's for the blind.  I raised the first 2k and a
bit without too much bother. Then I fell in love with one of the staff and
almost imediately enrolled in another charity trek across the Sinai dessert
this time.  I think this is where things started to go downhill.  When I
started suffering from depression the dr's just put me on drugs. I ended up
also taking canabis, meeting my ex flatmates and moving in with them where I
spent most of my time getting stoned out of my tree. 
   
  It took my guide dog Jilli to get me out of that fix. By that stage my
self worth had plumitted to zero. I wouldn't have got out of the mess I was
in to save myself but I would do it for Jilli. Although if I'd stayed on
that path I 
  would have lost Jilli sooner or later. So I made myself intentionally
homeless.  My friend did point out that if I told the housing people that
I'd left due to domestic violence, which was true as well, I would have had
a flat sooner. I didn't want to. Infact I once denied anything the sort was
happening to the social workers. I just told them we weren't 'compatable'.
Which was quite dumb when you think of it but I've done a lot of stupid
things in my time.
   
  Since then I'm still living in Birmingham, UK in the flat I was eventually
given. Although I nearly left when this drug dealer moved in and became a
total nightmare.  Still it's an ill wind as they say. My long cane tecnique
improved no end after having to negociate the obsticle course that was once
my path. (I couldn't use Jilli as he was leaving food about and I wouldn't
be too surprised if it was poisoned).  He's in prison now thank god. I also
did a course in ceramics, attempted a degree in Ceramics at Wolverhampton
Uni. I also became vegan, got lots of rescue animals (too many at one stage
but the number is deminishing). I am now completely drug free apart from the
thyroxine which I've always needed. But they don't really count. I've
stopped self harming now too. 
   
  I've been involved with the Animal Rights movement for a while now. 
  (NOT ALF/PETA style though). I started reading NFB last year.  After RNIB
I find their ideas very refressing. It has already started to help as before
I used to depend too much on the residual vision I have. Which is a good job
as last summer I started having problems with light sensitivity.  My sight
has started fluctuating again. 
   
  I hope I havent bored too many people.  Thanks David for your offer of
help. 
   
  Helene and Jilli. 
   
   

       
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