[nfb-talk] five year olds

[Sheri Wells-Jensen]

Hi, RJ,
Be gentle withyourself: we all have times when we aren't sure what to say. 
My oldest daughter is 8 and it took me a while to sort carefully through how 
we would deal with the fact that I cannot see but my spouse can.  It was 
very important to me that she get a clear idea that although my spouse and I 
do some things diferently, neither of us has the better way.  Beyond my 
politics and my belief that blind and sighted parents are equally equipped 
to deal with children, it's very very important to me that she feel safe 
with either of us and not be swept away by society's sense that blindness 
makes you less able to do certain basic things.  How terrible it would be if 
she were left with the idea that her mother was less able to protect her 
than her father was!  So, I understand your uneasiness about saying that 
your eyes don't work.

That given, 'my eyes don't work' is often where I start with little ones. 
We talk about things in ways kids can deal with: mommy looks with her 
fingers, but daddy has to look with his eyes.  Mommy always gets to touch, 
but daddy sometimes just looks.  I really can't see a thing, and that's a 
pain in my rump sometimes, but daddy can't crawl under the coffee table 
because his shoulders are too big.  It all sorts itself out in the end.

It's really OK to say you have this inconvenient, pain-in-the-whatsit 
blindness thing.  Kids understand that without the baggage that adults add 
to it.  the bueatiful thing about kids is that they also get that it doesn't 
have to matter.

Peace,

sheri w-J