[nfb-talk] Blind Parents and Divorce

Alan Wheeler awheeler at neb.rr.com
Fri Aug 10 07:45:45 CDT 2007


I agree, this is an awesome message, Mike.
----- Original Message ----- 
From: "Cindy Handel" <cindy425 at verizon.net>
To: <mabullis at hotmail.com>; "NFB Talk Mailing List" <nfb-talk at nfbnet.org>
Sent: Friday, August 10, 2007 5:52 AM
Subject: Re: [nfb-talk] Blind Parents and Divorce


> Mike,
>
> Congratulations!  This is a great message.  I know it will still be
> difficult, but you really do have a purpose, now.  You've found yourself
> again and I'm glad you're going to let the court and your wife know just 
> who
> you are...your daughter's father, who has as much right to spend time with
> her and raise her as her mother does.  I hope things go well for you.
>
> Cindy
> ----- Original Message ----- 
> From: "Michael Bullis" <mabullis at hotmail.com>
> To: <william.ritchhart at sbcglobal.net>; "'NFB Talk Mailing List'"
> <nfb-talk at nfbnet.org>
> Sent: Thursday, August 09, 2007 9:51 PM
> Subject: Re: [nfb-talk] Blind Parents and Divorce
>
>
> I've spent a lot of time with this subject in the past week, sort of 
> having
> my own personal epiphany in the process.  Each of you, in your own way has
> given me a different perspective which I had to mold into who I am.  I 
> knew
> that much of the situation was in my power to change but I had to figure 
> out
> how to do it from my center, not from a weak or wobbly foundation.
>
> Virtually every day, we as people who are blind must quietly smile or 
> cringe
> at the misunderstandings of others.  If we are to angry we alienate them.
> If we to quickly give in, we perpetuate the very misunderstandings we're
> trying to change.  It's a long and often tortuous walk we take, balancing
> how much others misunderstand with our desire to live normal
> lives--compromising here and there and not in other places.  In the 
> process
> of recognizing the ignorance of others we also must each recognize how 
> much
> we ourselves still have to learn.  As it stands, in the first part of the
> 21st century, we still are daily amazed by the accomplishments of people 
> who
> are blind, often saying to ourselves, "I would have never tried that."  At
> the same time we are amazed, we are equally appalled by how often 
> blindness
> becomes a personal tragedy for others and how they allow it to become 
> their
> own self created hell.  Both of those blind people--the hero and the 
> victim
> live within each of us more than we would probably like or wish to admit.
>
> In this loss of a marriage, I have tried to balance misunderstanding with
> humility, always trying to educate and at the same time trying to be who I
> am and to push against that same misunderstanding.
>
> I began to realize how far I had gotten out of balance when I said to a
> friend recently that even if I won the court fight I would feel as though 
> I
> had lost.  Why?  Because, in the process of compromising--allowing home
> inspections, agreeing to supervised visits, agreeing to not take my child
> outside the house without permission, I had given up some central part of
> me.  It has come to me over the last days that in this case at least, I 
> have
> compromised what I can, to no effect and must now begin to take back my
> personal dignity, not in an angry way, but rather in a calm and forthright
> manner.
>
> Since there is no rationality to any of the compromises, I have decided to
> quietly but respectfully decline them all.  I will go to court and present
> exactly the same visitation and custody terms as they would get from any
> other normal parent.  If my wife or the court want to argue the matter I 
> am
> prepared to have people come and talk about the competencies of people who
> are blind and, my own competencies where necessary.  I will no longer
> shuffle and grovel, hoping to please.  If, in the end, I lose I will do it
> as a man.  If I win, I will do it as one who has respect for all those who
> got me here.
>
> Perhaps the time has come to simply say no and mean it.  Obviously, I will
> follow the courts dictates, but I won't help them make any such dictates 
> if
> they mean treating me less than a fully competent parent.  I feel 
> strangely
> at peace with this decision and, although I know there are those who will
> say that they might take another approach, I must do what gives me peace 
> and
> dignity.
>
> Thanks to all of you for your help.  You have given me what I needed in
> order to move forward, comfort, encouragement and a much-needed heart to
> heart conversation with myself about what lives at the center of my being.
> I said in the beginning that this was about my daughter Julianna and I
> believe she will respect and love her father one day for being his own
> person and speaking with dignity and clarity.  What I have confused along
> the way is the difference between visitation by my daughter with her 
> father,
> and visitation by my daughter with half a man.  I choose to be a whole 
> man.
>
> Dr. Maurer and I spoke this afternoon and he says the NFB will help in any
> way it can.  Even if we had won the case before we would have really won
> nothing accept the half victories we must often live with.  Now, I think 
> we
> can win a real victory that advances who blind people are.  And even 
> though
> we may not win, at least we'll be fighting for what we want, instead of 
> what
> we can live with.
>
> Thanks for everything folks.  It's been a long and very difficult soul
> searching process for me.  In some ways I'm glad the other side didn't
> settle prior to now, because I would have had a solution without my soul 
> in
> it.  I will now take charge of my/our Attorneys in a much different way.
> This case is about whether a blind man can be a co-equal parent in his
> child's life.  That is the rock on which I now stand and from which I will
> only be removed by force.
> Mike Bullis
> -----Original Message-----
> From: nfb-talk-bounces at nfbnet.org [mailto:nfb-talk-bounces at nfbnet.org] On
> Behalf Of Wm. Ritchhart
> Sent: Thursday, August 09, 2007 6:30 PM
> To: 'NFB Talk Mailing List'
> Subject: Re: [nfb-talk] Blind Parents and Divorce
>
> Exactly correct!  Mike needs a lawyer.  From the original post, the bulk 
> of
> the problem is blindness.  There are other issues.  But those can be dealt
> with.
>
> Mike, you need to fight.  Your daughter is unable to speak.  You need to 
> do
> whatever you can to stay in her life.
>
>
>
> William
>
>
> -----Original Message-----
> From: nfb-talk-bounces at nfbnet.org [mailto:nfb-talk-bounces at nfbnet.org]
> On Behalf Of Mike Freeman
> Sent: Wednesday, August 08, 2007 11:40 PM
> To: NFB Talk Mailing List
> Subject: Re: [nfb-talk] Blind Parents and Divorce
>
> Cindy:
>
> With great respect, I disagree with you. Going to the press would be the
>
> *last* thing Mike should do. It would only cause her lawyer to pull
> something worse.
>
> Divorces are almost always messy and, frankly, the process is often
> irrational at best. Sadly, justice is not always the outcome.
>
> Mike
>
>  ----- Original Message -----
>  From: Cindy Handel
>  To: mabullis at hotmail.com ; NFB Talk Mailing List
>  Sent: Wednesday, August 08, 2007 1:51 PM
>  Subject: Re: [nfb-talk] Blind Parents and Divorce
>
>
>  Mike,
>
>  It's very sad when things like this have to go to the press.  But, I
> think
>  you're right, in your case.  She isn't being reasonable and, despite
> your
>  willingness to try to work with her, she's determined not to allow you
>
> the
>  access, you deserve, to your daughter.  You're right...mothers have
> the
>  advantage when it comes to children.  It shouldn't be that way.  The
> father
>  is expected to be there, financially, but beyond that, it doesn't seem
>
> to
>  matter, and that's just wrong.  Your daughter needs you in her life,
> and I
>  think you should take every opportunity to be there.  If that means
> going
>  public, I think you should do that.  I'm truly sorry your wife has
> such a
>  mindset against blindness that she was unwilling to learn from you,
> during
>  the time you were together.  She has her parents supporting her wrong
>  thinking, so something has to be done to break through, even if it
> means you
>  need to be as nasty as she's been.
>
>  I'm not a parent, but as someone else said, it hurt to read your
> original
>  message.  I hope things begin to go your way.
>
>  Cindy
>  ----- Original Message ----- 
>  From: "Michael Bullis" <mabullis at hotmail.com>
>  To: "'NFB Talk Mailing List'" <nfb-talk at nfbnet.org>
>  Sent: Wednesday, August 08, 2007 2:09 PM
>  Subject: Re: [nfb-talk] Blind Parents and Divorce
>
>
>  Thanks Ray.  I'll hang in there.  You're certainly right when you say
> that
>  my self image is suffering.  Somehow I have to move this into a forum
> in
>  which the truth will be told.  That probably means the press at this
> point
>  because money for lawyers isn't there.  Thanks for your encouragement.
>  Mike
>
>  -----Original Message-----
>  From: nfb-talk-bounces at nfbnet.org [mailto:nfb-talk-bounces at nfbnet.org]
>
> On
>  Behalf Of Ray Foret Jr
>  Sent: Wednesday, August 08, 2007 8:53 AM
>  To: mabullis at hotmail.com; NFB Talk Mailing List
>  Subject: Re: [nfb-talk] Blind Parents and Divorce
>
>  mike, quite frankly, it hurt to read your original message.  But you
> see,
>  your pain is our pain also.  What effects one of us effects us all.
> Your
>  situation is; in my humble opinion, well worth our resources.  I fear
> your
>  adversary has perhaps subconsciously been so attacking you as a blind
> person
>  so hard that in the deepest recesses of your academic mind, she's got
> you
>  questioning your self worth.  I suspect, though, that in the deepest
> part of
>  your soul and spirit, you know better.  Time for you to come down off
> the
>  fence and solidly defend yourself.  Yes, that means using ALL of the
>  resources at your disposal.  Yes, technically, the NFB deals primarily
>
> with
>  blindness issues; and, as cindy said, "It does seem, however, that
> this is
>  largely due to your blindness.  Your X-wife has a basic distrust of
>  blindness".  The long and the short of it seems to be that your x wife
>  doesn't think you can do anything because you're blind.  In the
> federation,
>  we care about the whole person, not just the not just whether the
> person is
>  blind or not; at least, that's how I've always felt about us.  When
> ever one
>  of us feels pain, we all feel it.  All too often, it's our very own
> families
>  which are the cause of this pain.  You did right coming to us with
> your
>  burden.  We'll help you bare it as much as possible.  Hang in there.
> Don't
>  give up!!!
>
>  Sincerely yours,
>  The Constantly Barefooted,
>  Ray
>  Home phone and fax:
>  (985)853-0139
>  E-mail:
>  rforetjratbellsouthdotnet
>  Skype Name:
>  barefootedray
>  Blog:
>  www.raysworld.blogs.com
>  Podcast .rss Feed:
>  http://feeds.feedburner.com/worldofray
>
>  God bless President George W. Bush!
>  God bless our troops!
>  and God bless America
>  ----- Original Message ----- 
>  From: "Michael Bullis" <mabullis at hotmail.com>
>  To: "'NFB Talk Mailing List'" <nfb-talk at nfbnet.org>
>  Sent: Wednesday, August 08, 2007 7:20 AM
>  Subject: Re: [nfb-talk] Blind Parents and Divorce
>
>
>  Hi Cindy:
>  I really don't disagree with Sherri at all.  I just see both points of
>
> view.
>  That's always been my greatest strength and greatest weakness.  In
> this case
>  I lack enough objectivity to decisively say how it should all be done.
>
> I'm
>  also hesitant to think that my particular problem is worth the
> resources of
>  others, particularly when I created that problem.  Thanks again for
> your
>  encouragement and help.  Perhaps out of all of this will come some
> good.
>  Mike
>
>  -----Original Message-----
>  From: nfb-talk-bounces at nfbnet.org [mailto:nfb-talk-bounces at nfbnet.org]
>
> On
>  Behalf Of Cindy Handel
>  Sent: Wednesday, August 08, 2007 6:45 AM
>  To: mabullis at hotmail.com; NFB Talk Mailing List
>  Subject: Re: [nfb-talk] Blind Parents and Divorce
>
>  Mike,
>
>  I read your original message and Sherry's response.  I tend to agree
> with
>  her, but can see your position, too, that there are many more things,
> other
>  than blindness, involved.  I feel very badly for you and wish you the
> best.
>  It does seem, however, that this is largely due to your blindness.
> Your
>  X-wife has a basic distrust of blindness...she doesn't want to believe
>
> that
>  you can do things as well as she can.  So, she's creating barriers,
> which
>  really don't exist.  I wish there was something you could do to change
>
> her
>  view of blindness, but that really doesn't seem likely.I do realize
> that the
>  NFB's resources are limited.  But, I do hope you can get some help.
> The
>  custody issue  does seem to be largely about blindness.  I'm really
> very
>  sorry for you.
>
>  Cindy
>  ----- Original Message -----
>  From: "Michael Bullis" <mabullis at hotmail.com>
>  To: "'NFB Talk Mailing List'" <nfb-talk at nfbnet.org>
>  Sent: Wednesday, August 08, 2007 6:03 AM
>  Subject: Re: [nfb-talk] Blind Parents and Divorce
>
>
>  Hi Sherri:
>  Thanks so much for your suggestions and personal encouragement.  At
> times
>  like this it means a lot to me.
>
>  Yes, Dr. Maurer is familiar with the situation.  It's difficult
> though.  As
>  I tried to indicate in the email, NFB is able to help with blindness
> related
>  costs and I am very grateful for that.  Unfortunately, in a divorce
> with an
>  aggressive lawyer, much isn't related to divorce.  Much is simply
> related to
>  virtually any act or deed one might have ever engaged in that made the
>
> other
>  party upset.  For example.  There is an opportunity in every case for
> both
>  sides to ask questions of one another about virtually anything.  There
>
> are
>  standard questions which mostly relate to finances and then there are
>  questions that relate to the cause of the divorce.
>
>  My wife responded to what I thought were fairly simple questions in
> order to
>  understand our relative financial situations with seven thousand pages
>
> of
>  so-called evidence.  It was completely unorganized and for all I know,
>
> it
>  still is.  My lawyer, being conscientious, had to go through the
> entire
>  seven thousand pages and evaluate it page by page for it's relevance
> to the
>  divorce.  That costs tons of money.
>
>  I'm not sure we want NFB to pay for such brutal and pointless tactics.
>
> As I
>  also indicated, I am accused of many things, which, though they're
> taken out
>  of context and frankly irrelevant, they must each be dealt with as the
>  accusations they represent.  This case, in terms of my personal legal
> fees
>  has cost me about $17,000.  The NFB has spent $3,400 or there abouts.
>  Before it is over, my costs will double or triple, which I simply
> can't
>  afford.
>
>  In a broader sense though, I'm not sure I want the money of NFB's
> members
>  used to defend such irrelevant accusations.  Dr. Maurer has to make
> tough
>  decisions like these and I don't envy him the task.  Not all things in
>
> life
>  are simple and this is, unfortunately, one of them.
>  Mike
>
>  -----Original Message-----
>  From: nfb-talk-bounces at nfbnet.org [mailto:nfb-talk-bounces at nfbnet.org]
>
> On
>  Behalf Of Sherri
>  Sent: Wednesday, August 08, 2007 2:25 AM
>  To: mabullis at hotmail.com; NFB Talk Mailing List
>  Subject: Re: [nfb-talk] Blind Parents and Divorce
>
>  Michael,
>
>  Though you say that much of this situation does not have to do with
>  blindness or rather with your ex-wife's problems with your blindness,
> it
>  really does. I would still think the NFB would support you in your
> desire to
>  get more liberal visitation with your daughter.
>
>  Have you sent this e-mail to President Maurer? If so, what is his
> opinion?
>  Perhaps Barbara Cheadle would be a good person to talk with about your
>  situation.
>
>  I have known several blind fathers who have primary custody of their
>  children. One of these got custody of his little boy when the child
> was an
>  infant, because his wife walked out on them. He had to jump through a
> lot of
>  hoops for it to happen though.
>
>  You seem to be a very caring and devoted father who has made the
> mistake, as
>  I have, of thinking that people are decent and will play by your
> rules. Not
>  true!
>
>  I hope you have success and will get good advice about how to deal
> with your
>  problem. Know that you were there for your daughter when she was
> little and
>  she will always love you no matter what.
>
>
>  ----- Original Message -----
>  From: "Michael Bullis" <mabullis at hotmail.com>
>  To: "'NFB Talk Mailing List'" <nfb-talk at nfbnet.org>
>  Sent: Tuesday, August 07, 2007 8:43 PM
>  Subject: [nfb-talk] Blind Parents and Divorce
>
>
>  We have all heard about blind parents being questioned in their
> ability to
>  care for their children by social workers or spouses. There have even
> been
>  some notable cases in which courts have ruled in favor of blind
> parents in
>  such situations.  NFB has been instrumental in many of these cases.
> What
>  most of us little understand though is how complex the matter becomes
> in
>  family court.
>
>
>
>  First of all, family court is civil court. The only people who go
> there are
>  people with money. For all practical purposes, you can't go without an
>  Attorney and unless you're very poor there are no organizations set up
>
> to
>  help you.
>
>
>
>  Many of you don't know me well, and frankly, if it weren't for this
>  situation, I would prefer to leave my personal life outside these
> lists.
>
>  However, I find myself in a situation which may well be common to
> others so
>  will tell my story at some length.
>
>
>
>  This story is really about my daughter, but, since it begins with my
> wife
>  and I, I'll tell it that way.
>
>
>
>  In January of 2002 I lived in Portland Oregon.  I met a lady named
> Kristen.
>  At the time I was 49 and she was 39.  With very little knowledge about
>
> one
>  another we had what one could describe as a whirlwind romance that
> included
>  unprotected sex.  By March first we were aware that Kristen was
> pregnant.
>  For me, having a child was always the most scary and at the same time
> most
>  wonderful possibility in my heart.  Scary because I didn't know if I'd
>
> be a
>  good father, didn't know if I could do all the things a father needed
> to do,
>  and honestly, because I really didn't like being around kids, I wasn't
>
> sure
>  if I would really love my child like a father should.  Friends assured
>
> me
>  that such things were the fears of all would-be fathers but I just
> didn't
>  know.
>
>  What was important to me was that my child would be loved and cared
> for and
>  that I would be everything a father should be. I quit my job as the
>  Assistant to the Director of the Oregon Commission for the Blind and
> moved
>  to Maryland to live with Kristen in May.  We were married in July.
> I'd like
>  to tell you that the romance was still thriving, but, even by that
> time
>  there were signs of trouble.  Four days before our marriage we had an
> hour
>  long argument in which she gave me the option of not going through
> with the
>  marriage.  I didn't take the option, assuming that we, as responsible
> adults
>  could work out anything.  So, on July 21st, we were married.
>
>
>
>  Julianna Michaela Humphrey Bullis was born on October 31st, 2002.  It
> was
>  the most wonderful, stunning, life changing moment of my life.  I
> threw
>  myself into parenting like I had always loved it and would love it
> forever.
>  My little girl never knew her daddy was blind.  I changed her diapers,
>
> gave
>  her bottles, dressed her, bathed her and fed her.  She took over my
> heart in
>  a way that nothing ever had.  I always knew that if I had a child it
> could
>  never be that the child would be my servant.  I wanted my blindness to
>
> be
>  just something, like brown hair or blue eyes.  And it was that for
> Julianna.
>  Because she never knew any different, daddy was just daddy.  In fact,
> at
>  first she never believed I was blind, even when I explained it to her
> as she
>  approached two years old.  She said once, apparently after giving the
> matter
>  much consideration, "Daddy, you're not blind.  I know it because you
> have
>  eyes." Hey, how can you argue with such simplicity.  I told her that
> my eyes
>  didn't work, much like when she had a broken toy.  It was obvious she
> didn't
>  agree because she just looked at me and went on playing.
>
>
>
>  We walked in the neighborhood.  We played with neighbor kids.  I
> tucked her
>  in at night and kissed her in the morning.  A place in my heart was
>  overflowing with the love I had never known could exist.
>
>
>
>  But, on the marriage front things were not going so well.  My wife and
>
> I,
>  for a variety of reasons, simply didn't relate to life in the same
> ways.  By
>  summer of 2003 we began marriage counseling and were, off and on,  in
> some
>  form of counseling until the summer of 2006.  The simplest thing I can
>
> say
>  about the counseling was that it didn't seem to work.  I think we both
>  honestly tried to do everything we could to make it work, but it
> didn't.
>
>
>
>  The issue of blindness began rearing it's head when Julianna was a
> little
>  past one.  My wife purchased a harness with a strap on the back which
> she
>  asked me to use so Julianna wouldn't "get away."  I told her that
> nobody in
>  the neighborhood used such a thing and I didn't want our daughter
> looking
>  like a weirdo.  "Besides," I said, "I can always hold her hand and
> stay
>  close to her when we're out."  The next thing that came was a wrist
> strap
>  which I was asked to use.  Again I said that it was unnecessary.  My
> wife
>  called in her parents who described their fears about Julianna getting
>
> away
>  from me.  I told them that I respected their concerns and that if I
> ever
>  felt that Julianna was in danger I would use the strap, or, if I were
> in a
>  large crowd, I could see some merit to it.
>
>
>
>  In September of 2005, the parallel paths of blindness and
> disagreements
>  about other issues came to a head and we separated.  I got an
> apartment in
>  Charles Village, a neighborhood of Baltimore, and my wife stayed with
> our
>  daughter at the house.  I provided financial support and we continued
> to
>  attempt reconciliation, both through personal and joint counseling.
>
>
>
>  At first, my wife asked me not to tell our daughter that I was living
> away
>  from home.  She felt I should just say I was working hard and would be
>
> home
>  soon.  I did see Julianna two or three times per week at the family
> home. At
>  some points I suggested that Julianna and I might go on a bus trip to
> the
>  ice cream shop.  Kristen became very uncomfortable and said she was
> afraid
>  of busses and their lack of safety.  She also didn't want me taking
> her in
>  cabs because that too would be dangerous.
>
>
>
>  By January of 2006 Julianna had figured out on her own that daddy had
> an
>  apartment.  I asked Kristen to allow her to come and visit.  She
> demurred,
>  saying that she just needed a little more time to become comfortable
> with
>  all of it.
>
>
>
>  In April of 2006 things came to a head when I suggested to Julianna
> that we
>  could go on a bus ride because she was asking about busses.  My wife's
>  response in this email was clear and to the point. I quote it here:
> "What
>  frightens and makes me, Mom and Dad mistrust your ability to care for
> and
>  protect her, in addition to all the ways in which you have damaged my
> trust
>  (and by extension theirs') is your arrogant insistence that Julianna
> faces
>  no ADDITIONAL peril or jeopardy in potentially dangerous situations in
>
> the
>  care of someone who cannot see.
>
>  That is absurd, and no amount of political correctness with regard to
> your
>
>  (considerable) skills and abilities despite your blindness can make up
>
> for
>  having the additional sense of sight when it comes to locating an
> object, in
>  this case an erratic, extremely quick toddler, that has alluded your
> grasp.
>  This is most especially true in any type of noisy, crowded conditions
> and/or
>  unfamiliar territory."
>
>
>
>  "It is not a matter of subjectivity, Mike. We have all observed that
> if
>  Julianna wants to evade you, she can do so quite effectively within
> the
>  confines of OUR HOUSE. So what could the consequences be if she were
> to
>  suddenly become restless, frustrated, tired of waiting, stubborn and
> angry
>  at a bus stop on a street where cars are speeding past? Or even if she
>  should decide to chase a stray ball into the street in front of our
> own
>  house? You cannot continue to pretend that she cannot wriggle free of
> you,
>  or that she is not capable of defying your admonitions against
> straying (she
>  can suddenly decide to check out a speck glinting in the sunlight in
> the
>  street, that to her is a previously undiscovered treasure!), much less
>
> your
>  ability to recapture her in the split second necessary to keep her
> from
>  darting in front of a car if she were to wriggle free. You cannot
> continue
>  to insist that your ability to recapture her is the same as someone
> who can
>  see precisely where she is and where to grab her. You cannot continue
> the
>  pretense that your abilities ARE the same or equal, merely different,
>  because the stakes are just too high: your daughter's very life."
>
>
>
>  I could make many responses , but they feel so defensive.  No, I
> didn't stop
>  Julianna from evading me at that age in the house.  I preferred to
> ignore
>  the behavior, acting as though I didn't want to find her sometimes.
> That
>  way I wouldn't set up a challenge situation in which she would become
> more
>  creative and desirous of hiding from me.  I think that whether I was
> sighted
>  or not, I would handle the situation that way.  Exerting control sets
> up a
>  very adverse situation.  Now, when it comes to being out in public, I
>  maintained much stricter control, without letting Julianna know it in
> order
>  that she not be in danger.
>
>
>
>  But, at least the cards were on the table and we knew what we were
> fighting
>  about I hoped.  My style when it comes to handling sighted people and
> their
>  concerns about my blindness is to show by example.  I could point out
> that
>  thousands of blind people have successfully raised sighted children
> and so
>  far as the numbers go, there are no more incidents of injury than for
> any
>  other children.  I tried unsuccessfully to point out that I work with
> young
>  children as a part of my job, but it was dismissed because those were
> blind
>  kids who couldn't run away like sighted kids.  What became troublingly
>
> and
>  dismayingly apparent was that no amount of convincing would work.
>
>
>
>  Our separation continued and communication deteriorated.  I was still
> able
>  to visit Julianna at the family home but that was it.  She couldn't
> come to
>  my home and so I continued to not be able to tuck her in at night or
> feed
>  her breakfast in the morning.  A year had gone by since our separation
>
> and
>  still, my heart was breaking because I couldn't just be with my
> daughter.
>
>
>
>  In August, my wife filed for divorce asking for full legal and
> physical
>  custody.  What I discovered was a sad truth about divorce.  It's
> messy!  The
>  grounds were that I was abusive, that I was an irresponsible, risk
> taking,
>  dangerous, alcoholic.  Frankly, when I read all the things that were
> said
>  about me I started to realize how difficult it would be for anyone to
> not
>  believe at least some of it.  In fact, I believed much of it, although
>
> it
>  was out of context and far out of proportion.  But, in the divorce
> game the
>  one who accuses the most is the one with the best chance of winning.
>
>
>
>  I still believed though that Kristen would come to her senses and
> realize
>  that nobody should keep their child from her daddy and that we were
> doing
>  irreparable harm.  I also believed the courts would see this as well.
>
>
>
>  So, after she filed for divorce, I too, had to find a lawyer and
> respond.  I
>  knew going in, as did everyone else, that I had little money to
> continue a
>  long battle.  I had one credit card that I could run up $20,000 on but
>
> that
>  was pretty much it.
>
>
>
>  But, I made the decision that when my daughter got older and asked me
>  "Daddy, didn't you care?  Did you fight for me?"  I had to answer,
> "yes,"
>
>  and mean it.  My little girl has to know, when all is said and done
> that her
>  daddy loved her with all his heart and wants her to be with him and
> that he
>  did everything humanly possible to make that happen without breaking
> the
>  law.
>
>
>
>  Court justice moves slowly.  The soonest we could get a hearing on the
>  "facts" of the matter was March 12th 2007.  Meanwhile all visitations
> were
>  in restaurants or public libraries.  I couldn't come to the family
> home
>  because I was dangerous and Julianna certainly couldn't come to my
> home and
>  be with me unsupervised.  Do I sound like a pedophile to you.  It's
> what I
>  felt like.  Some kind of criminal who couldn't be trusted to have
> private
>  communications or interactions with his daughter.
>
>
>
>  Three or four days before the March hearing my wife's lawyer called to
>
> begin
>  negotiating.  He agreed to a plan that would lead to week-end visits
> within
>  four months.  He knew that all the accusations were simply tactics,
> not
>  realities.  He also knew that my witness list would overwelm his.  I
> had
>  people willing to testify about my character and about my ability to
> work
>  with children.  I also had former neighbors who were ready to testify
> that I
>  was a capable and responsible parent.  No way did he want to go to
> court on
>  the issues of visitation.  Michael Jones was scheduled to come in from
>  Atlanta, paid for by the NFB, to deal with broader matters of blind
>  parenting.  In other words, when the chips were down, my wife's lawyer
>  didn't want to go to court about these matters and so quickly
> negotiated an
>  agreement.
>
>
>
>  Among the stipulations in the agreement was one that said that I would
>
> allow
>  Kristen to "inspect" my house and make "recommendations" about things
> that
>  were unsafe. I'm a bachelor now and felt that any advice anybody
> wanted to
>  give was useful so, I agreed, particularly since the language clearly
> said
>  "recommendations". What I discovered, after the hearing, was that my
> wife's
>  lawyer had no intention of encouraging her to follow the agreement.
> My
>  wife's position was that she could make lists of problems within my
> house
>  and that I must fix them all in order for any meaningful visits to
> take
>  place. No matter what I fixed, there were more problems. I spent $600
> trying
>  to make things right, but, they never were.  Because of the way courts
>
> work,
>  I would have to take her back to court in order to get a judge to
> declare
>  her in default of the agreement.  I have no money for this anymore.
> In
>  fact, I've had to terminate my Attorney because I simply can't afford
> one.
>  Bankruptcy is likely for me in the next few months, depending upon how
>
> my
>  creditors choose to pursue payments.
>
>
>
>  So, here we come up on two years and I effectively have two hours per
> week
>  of supervised visits with my daughter.  Yes, she can now  come to my
> home,
>  but only if Kristen or her parents are here to supervise.  Julianna
> now
>  believes that I'm unsafe.  Apparently she's heard enough family talk
> to
>  figure out that daddy is dangerous.
>
>
>
>  I don't know what to say. In one sense, my story is about a blind man
> who is
>  being discriminated against because of the misconceptions about
> blindness.
>  In another sense, it's the story of family court justice that depends
> upon
>  money to gain any form of resolution.  Yes, there are nonprofit
>  organizations available but they usually focus on the parent rather
> than the
>  child.  If a female or her children are being abused, there is help.
> Moving
>  the case to the criminal side of things gets attention.  Legal Aid is
> for
>  poor people but even legal Aid doesn't do many divorces because their
>  resources simply aren't adequate.
>
>
>
>  Finally, men just aren't very pitiable.  We don't look like victims
> and
>  often stay silent for far to long when this kind of situation comes
> up.  I
>  find it hard to believe that I've let two years of my daughter's life
> go by,
>  always believing that things will resolve themselves at the next
> meeting or
>  in the next court action.
>
>
>
>  The difficulty with this case is that, although it revolves around
>  blindness, like many divorces, it also revolves around many other
> things.
>
>  I questioned my own sanity at one point and contacted my X-wife.  I
> gave her
>  the allegations of my abusiveness and angry tendencies and asked her
> if she
>  saw these things in me.  She said she'd be glad to come and testify on
>
> my
>  behalf that I had never even raised my voice to her in our eight year
>  marriage.  My lawyer told me that having X-wives testify in divorce
> cases is
>  pretty much not done but, if I have the chance I'll ask her to do it.
> I
>  mean, if anybody should have bad things to say it would be her.
>
>
>
>  The NFB has taken on cases like mine, but only to the extent of
> helping with
>  blindness related issues. In my case, about twenty-five percent of the
>
> case
>  is blindness related. NFB was/is willing to pay for that, but, it will
>
> be of
>  little value if I can't afford the other 75 percent. If clever
> opponents can
>  mask their true concerns behind other subterfuge, the case becomes
> very
>  expensive. Divorce court is a very sleazy and messy place. The lawyer
> who
>  makes the most accusations and breaks the other party financially
> wins.
>
>  Although the best interests of the child is the standard, few cases
> come to
>  trial and no lawyer is censured for bare knuckle fighting when it
> comes to
>  divorces.
>
>  What my daughter needs is an Attorney for her side.  Usually courts
> will
>  appoint somebody to represent the child's interests if requested, but
> you
>  have to pay for that.  I'm asking for the Baltimore County Courts to
> appoint
>  an Attorney for Julianna but also have to ask that the Attorney work
> for no
>  pay.  Results are doubtful.  She is the real loser here and somebody
> needs
>  to defend her right to see her daddy.
>
>
>
>  All I have ever wanted was to get to a court-room in which I could
> present
>  witnesses to refute their accusations and vouch for who I am.  I don't
>  believe, by the way, that my wife is lying.  She's not making things
> up.  In
>  her own mind she really believes what she says.  What I think though
> is that
>  the courts ought to do what they say their mission is.  They say that
> the
>  standard is the "best interests of the child."  I believe when they
> sort it
>  out, the best interests for my daughter involve being with her daddy,
> in his
>  home, unsupervised.  I believe she needs a daddy to go fishing with.
> She
>  needs a daddy to wake her up in the morning and kiss her goodnight.  I
>
> also
>  believe that lawyers like my wife's should be evaluated on the extent
> to
>  which they truly seek to find resolution to family cases. When a child
>
> is
>  involved, the usual attack and attack rules ought to be changed.
> Lawyers
>  ought to be given public scrutiny for the extent to which they resolve
>
> cases
>  rather than prolong them.  A lawyer with a history of divorce cases
> going to
>  trial ought to be evaluated on his negotiating abilities.  Most
> importantly,
>  lawyers who take on divorce cases where children are involved should
> be held
>  to a much higher standard than others.  They should be required to
>  demonstrate that they counseled their client on the possible danger to
>
> their
>  clients' children of anger over the divorce interfering with good
> judgment.
>  Or, allowing their anger over a marriage gone bad to interfere with
>  withholding visitation.  They should be required to justify with
> actual
>  evidence which they have evaluated, any limitation of parental rights.
>
> In
>  other words, the courts ought to hold to a high standard when it comes
>
> to
>  children.  Finally, courts need to move away from the presumption that
>  mothers are better care-givers than fathers.  My lawyer advised me
> from the
>  beginning, that I would have little or no chance of gaining fifty
> percent
>  custody of Julianna.  Because she is with her mother, that is where
> she
>  should stay. I think that we often think of dads as having to be
> dragged
>  into court to do what's right by their children.  Sadly, I think
> that's true
>  far more often than it should be.  But, I have spoken to many father's
>
> who
>  simply say that they were being asked to pay but weren't being given
> the
>  rights of parents so they just rebelled and quit the system.  I'm a
> dad who
>  continues to pay but who wants to be his girl's daddy before it's to
> late.
>
>  Sincerely,
>
>  Michael Bullis
>
>  Work phone: 410-737-2604
>
>  Cell: 443-992-1537
>
>  Evening phone: 410-323-4884
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
> ------------------------------------------------------------------------
> ----
>  ----
>
>
>  _______________________________________________
>  nfb-talk mailing list
>  nfb-talk at nfbnet.org
>  http://www.nfbnet.org/mailman/listinfo/nfb-talk
>
>  _______________________________________________
>  nfb-talk mailing list
>  nfb-talk at nfbnet.org
>  http://www.nfbnet.org/mailman/listinfo/nfb-talk
>
>  _______________________________________________
>  nfb-talk mailing list
>  nfb-talk at nfbnet.org
>  http://www.nfbnet.org/mailman/listinfo/nfb-talk
>
>
>  _______________________________________________
>  nfb-talk mailing list
>  nfb-talk at nfbnet.org
>  http://www.nfbnet.org/mailman/listinfo/nfb-talk
>
>  _______________________________________________
>  nfb-talk mailing list
>  nfb-talk at nfbnet.org
>  http://www.nfbnet.org/mailman/listinfo/nfb-talk
>
>  _______________________________________________
>  nfb-talk mailing list
>  nfb-talk at nfbnet.org
>  http://www.nfbnet.org/mailman/listinfo/nfb-talk
>
>  _______________________________________________
>  nfb-talk mailing list
>  nfb-talk at nfbnet.org
>  http://www.nfbnet.org/mailman/listinfo/nfb-talk
>
>
>  _______________________________________________
>  nfb-talk mailing list
>  nfb-talk at nfbnet.org
>  http://www.nfbnet.org/mailman/listinfo/nfb-talk
>
> _______________________________________________
> nfb-talk mailing list
> nfb-talk at nfbnet.org
> http://www.nfbnet.org/mailman/listinfo/nfb-talk
>
> _______________________________________________
> nfb-talk mailing list
> nfb-talk at nfbnet.org
> http://www.nfbnet.org/mailman/listinfo/nfb-talk
>
>
> _______________________________________________
> nfb-talk mailing list
> nfb-talk at nfbnet.org
> http://www.nfbnet.org/mailman/listinfo/nfb-talk
>
>
> -- 
> No virus found in this incoming message.
> Checked by AVG Free Edition.
> Version: 7.5.476 / Virus Database: 269.11.11/944 - Release Date: 8/9/2007 
> 2:44 PM
>
> 



More information about the nfb-talk mailing list