[nfb-talk] Blind Parents and Divorce

Constance Canode satin-bear at sbcglobal.net
Fri Aug 10 07:43:46 CDT 2007


Hi Mike,

I don't know you, but I just had to write and tell you that I am also 
cheering for you and am very happy and proud of you.  I have a great 
deal of respect for your decision.  In my estimation, it may have 
taken you some soul searching to realize it, but you truly are a 
great man and your daughter has a dad that she can be proud of.  Your 
ex-wife is definitely a fool to treat you in such a rotten 
manner.  Congratulations, and hang in there.  I wish you all of the 
very best that life has to offer and I hope that some day down the 
road, you will find a woman worthy of you.

Connie Canode
At 08:51 PM 8/9/2007, you wrote:
>I've spent a lot of time with this subject in the past week, sort of having
>my own personal epiphany in the process.  Each of you, in your own way has
>given me a different perspective which I had to mold into who I am.  I knew
>that much of the situation was in my power to change but I had to figure out
>how to do it from my center, not from a weak or wobbly foundation.
>
>Virtually every day, we as people who are blind must quietly smile or cringe
>at the misunderstandings of others.  If we are to angry we alienate them.
>If we to quickly give in, we perpetuate the very misunderstandings we're
>trying to change.  It's a long and often tortuous walk we take, balancing
>how much others misunderstand with our desire to live normal
>lives--compromising here and there and not in other places.  In the process
>of recognizing the ignorance of others we also must each recognize how much
>we ourselves still have to learn.  As it stands, in the first part of the
>21st century, we still are daily amazed by the accomplishments of people who
>are blind, often saying to ourselves, "I would have never tried that."  At
>the same time we are amazed, we are equally appalled by how often blindness
>becomes a personal tragedy for others and how they allow it to become their
>own self created hell.  Both of those blind people--the hero and the victim
>live within each of us more than we would probably like or wish to admit.
>
>In this loss of a marriage, I have tried to balance misunderstanding with
>humility, always trying to educate and at the same time trying to be who I
>am and to push against that same misunderstanding.
>
>I began to realize how far I had gotten out of balance when I said to a
>friend recently that even if I won the court fight I would feel as though I
>had lost.  Why?  Because, in the process of compromising--allowing home
>inspections, agreeing to supervised visits, agreeing to not take my child
>outside the house without permission, I had given up some central part of
>me.  It has come to me over the last days that in this case at least, I have
>compromised what I can, to no effect and must now begin to take back my
>personal dignity, not in an angry way, but rather in a calm and forthright
>manner.
>
>Since there is no rationality to any of the compromises, I have decided to
>quietly but respectfully decline them all.  I will go to court and present
>exactly the same visitation and custody terms as they would get from any
>other normal parent.  If my wife or the court want to argue the matter I am
>prepared to have people come and talk about the competencies of people who
>are blind and, my own competencies where necessary.  I will no longer
>shuffle and grovel, hoping to please.  If, in the end, I lose I will do it
>as a man.  If I win, I will do it as one who has respect for all those who
>got me here.
>
>Perhaps the time has come to simply say no and mean it.  Obviously, I will
>follow the courts dictates, but I won't help them make any such dictates if
>they mean treating me less than a fully competent parent.  I feel strangely
>at peace with this decision and, although I know there are those who will
>say that they might take another approach, I must do what gives me peace and
>dignity.
>
>Thanks to all of you for your help.  You have given me what I needed in
>order to move forward, comfort, encouragement and a much-needed heart to
>heart conversation with myself about what lives at the center of my being.
>I said in the beginning that this was about my daughter Julianna and I
>believe she will respect and love her father one day for being his own
>person and speaking with dignity and clarity.  What I have confused along
>the way is the difference between visitation by my daughter with her father,
>and visitation by my daughter with half a man.  I choose to be a whole man.
>
>Dr. Maurer and I spoke this afternoon and he says the NFB will help in any
>way it can.  Even if we had won the case before we would have really won
>nothing accept the half victories we must often live with.  Now, I think we
>can win a real victory that advances who blind people are.  And even though
>we may not win, at least we'll be fighting for what we want, instead of what
>we can live with.
>
>Thanks for everything folks.  It's been a long and very difficult soul
>searching process for me.  In some ways I'm glad the other side didn't
>settle prior to now, because I would have had a solution without my soul in
>it.  I will now take charge of my/our Attorneys in a much different way.
>This case is about whether a blind man can be a co-equal parent in his
>child's life.  That is the rock on which I now stand and from which I will
>only be removed by force.
>Mike Bullis
>-----Original Message-----
>From: nfb-talk-bounces at nfbnet.org [mailto:nfb-talk-bounces at nfbnet.org] On
>Behalf Of Wm. Ritchhart
>Sent: Thursday, August 09, 2007 6:30 PM
>To: 'NFB Talk Mailing List'
>Subject: Re: [nfb-talk] Blind Parents and Divorce
>
>Exactly correct!  Mike needs a lawyer.  From the original post, the bulk of
>the problem is blindness.  There are other issues.  But those can be dealt
>with.
>
>Mike, you need to fight.  Your daughter is unable to speak.  You need to do
>whatever you can to stay in her life.
>
>
>
>William
>
>
>-----Original Message-----
>From: nfb-talk-bounces at nfbnet.org [mailto:nfb-talk-bounces at nfbnet.org]
>On Behalf Of Mike Freeman
>Sent: Wednesday, August 08, 2007 11:40 PM
>To: NFB Talk Mailing List
>Subject: Re: [nfb-talk] Blind Parents and Divorce
>
>Cindy:
>
>With great respect, I disagree with you. Going to the press would be the
>
>*last* thing Mike should do. It would only cause her lawyer to pull
>something worse.
>
>Divorces are almost always messy and, frankly, the process is often
>irrational at best. Sadly, justice is not always the outcome.
>
>Mike
>
>   ----- Original Message -----
>   From: Cindy Handel
>   To: mabullis at hotmail.com ; NFB Talk Mailing List
>   Sent: Wednesday, August 08, 2007 1:51 PM
>   Subject: Re: [nfb-talk] Blind Parents and Divorce
>
>
>   Mike,
>
>   It's very sad when things like this have to go to the press.  But, I
>think
>   you're right, in your case.  She isn't being reasonable and, despite
>your
>   willingness to try to work with her, she's determined not to allow you
>
>the
>   access, you deserve, to your daughter.  You're right...mothers have
>the
>   advantage when it comes to children.  It shouldn't be that way.  The
>father
>   is expected to be there, financially, but beyond that, it doesn't seem
>
>to
>   matter, and that's just wrong.  Your daughter needs you in her life,
>and I
>   think you should take every opportunity to be there.  If that means
>going
>   public, I think you should do that.  I'm truly sorry your wife has
>such a
>   mindset against blindness that she was unwilling to learn from you,
>during
>   the time you were together.  She has her parents supporting her wrong
>   thinking, so something has to be done to break through, even if it
>means you
>   need to be as nasty as she's been.
>
>   I'm not a parent, but as someone else said, it hurt to read your
>original
>   message.  I hope things begin to go your way.
>
>   Cindy
>   ----- Original Message -----
>   From: "Michael Bullis" <mabullis at hotmail.com>
>   To: "'NFB Talk Mailing List'" <nfb-talk at nfbnet.org>
>   Sent: Wednesday, August 08, 2007 2:09 PM
>   Subject: Re: [nfb-talk] Blind Parents and Divorce
>
>
>   Thanks Ray.  I'll hang in there.  You're certainly right when you say
>that
>   my self image is suffering.  Somehow I have to move this into a forum
>in
>   which the truth will be told.  That probably means the press at this
>point
>   because money for lawyers isn't there.  Thanks for your encouragement.
>   Mike
>
>   -----Original Message-----
>   From: nfb-talk-bounces at nfbnet.org [mailto:nfb-talk-bounces at nfbnet.org]
>
>On
>   Behalf Of Ray Foret Jr
>   Sent: Wednesday, August 08, 2007 8:53 AM
>   To: mabullis at hotmail.com; NFB Talk Mailing List
>   Subject: Re: [nfb-talk] Blind Parents and Divorce
>
>   mike, quite frankly, it hurt to read your original message.  But you
>see,
>   your pain is our pain also.  What effects one of us effects us all.
>Your
>   situation is; in my humble opinion, well worth our resources.  I fear
>your
>   adversary has perhaps subconsciously been so attacking you as a blind
>person
>   so hard that in the deepest recesses of your academic mind, she's got
>you
>   questioning your self worth.  I suspect, though, that in the deepest
>part of
>   your soul and spirit, you know better.  Time for you to come down off
>the
>   fence and solidly defend yourself.  Yes, that means using ALL of the
>   resources at your disposal.  Yes, technically, the NFB deals primarily
>
>with
>   blindness issues; and, as cindy said, "It does seem, however, that
>this is
>   largely due to your blindness.  Your X-wife has a basic distrust of
>   blindness".  The long and the short of it seems to be that your x wife
>   doesn't think you can do anything because you're blind.  In the
>federation,
>   we care about the whole person, not just the not just whether the
>person is
>   blind or not; at least, that's how I've always felt about us.  When
>ever one
>   of us feels pain, we all feel it.  All too often, it's our very own
>families
>   which are the cause of this pain.  You did right coming to us with
>your
>   burden.  We'll help you bare it as much as possible.  Hang in there.
>Don't
>   give up!!!
>
>   Sincerely yours,
>   The Constantly Barefooted,
>   Ray
>   Home phone and fax:
>   (985)853-0139
>   E-mail:
>   rforetjratbellsouthdotnet
>   Skype Name:
>   barefootedray
>   Blog:
>   www.raysworld.blogs.com
>   Podcast .rss Feed:
>   http://feeds.feedburner.com/worldofray
>
>   God bless President George W. Bush!
>   God bless our troops!
>   and God bless America
>   ----- Original Message -----
>   From: "Michael Bullis" <mabullis at hotmail.com>
>   To: "'NFB Talk Mailing List'" <nfb-talk at nfbnet.org>
>   Sent: Wednesday, August 08, 2007 7:20 AM
>   Subject: Re: [nfb-talk] Blind Parents and Divorce
>
>
>   Hi Cindy:
>   I really don't disagree with Sherri at all.  I just see both points of
>
>view.
>   That's always been my greatest strength and greatest weakness.  In
>this case
>   I lack enough objectivity to decisively say how it should all be done.
>
>I'm
>   also hesitant to think that my particular problem is worth the
>resources of
>   others, particularly when I created that problem.  Thanks again for
>your
>   encouragement and help.  Perhaps out of all of this will come some
>good.
>   Mike
>
>   -----Original Message-----
>   From: nfb-talk-bounces at nfbnet.org [mailto:nfb-talk-bounces at nfbnet.org]
>
>On
>   Behalf Of Cindy Handel
>   Sent: Wednesday, August 08, 2007 6:45 AM
>   To: mabullis at hotmail.com; NFB Talk Mailing List
>   Subject: Re: [nfb-talk] Blind Parents and Divorce
>
>   Mike,
>
>   I read your original message and Sherry's response.  I tend to agree
>with
>   her, but can see your position, too, that there are many more things,
>other
>   than blindness, involved.  I feel very badly for you and wish you the
>best.
>   It does seem, however, that this is largely due to your blindness.
>Your
>   X-wife has a basic distrust of blindness...she doesn't want to believe
>
>that
>   you can do things as well as she can.  So, she's creating barriers,
>which
>   really don't exist.  I wish there was something you could do to change
>
>her
>   view of blindness, but that really doesn't seem likely.I do realize
>that the
>   NFB's resources are limited.  But, I do hope you can get some help.
>The
>   custody issue  does seem to be largely about blindness.  I'm really
>very
>   sorry for you.
>
>   Cindy
>   ----- Original Message -----
>   From: "Michael Bullis" <mabullis at hotmail.com>
>   To: "'NFB Talk Mailing List'" <nfb-talk at nfbnet.org>
>   Sent: Wednesday, August 08, 2007 6:03 AM
>   Subject: Re: [nfb-talk] Blind Parents and Divorce
>
>
>   Hi Sherri:
>   Thanks so much for your suggestions and personal encouragement.  At
>times
>   like this it means a lot to me.
>
>   Yes, Dr. Maurer is familiar with the situation.  It's difficult
>though.  As
>   I tried to indicate in the email, NFB is able to help with blindness
>related
>   costs and I am very grateful for that.  Unfortunately, in a divorce
>with an
>   aggressive lawyer, much isn't related to divorce.  Much is simply
>related to
>   virtually any act or deed one might have ever engaged in that made the
>
>other
>   party upset.  For example.  There is an opportunity in every case for
>both
>   sides to ask questions of one another about virtually anything.  There
>
>are
>   standard questions which mostly relate to finances and then there are
>   questions that relate to the cause of the divorce.
>
>   My wife responded to what I thought were fairly simple questions in
>order to
>   understand our relative financial situations with seven thousand pages
>
>of
>   so-called evidence.  It was completely unorganized and for all I know,
>
>it
>   still is.  My lawyer, being conscientious, had to go through the
>entire
>   seven thousand pages and evaluate it page by page for it's relevance
>to the
>   divorce.  That costs tons of money.
>
>   I'm not sure we want NFB to pay for such brutal and pointless tactics.
>
>As I
>   also indicated, I am accused of many things, which, though they're
>taken out
>   of context and frankly irrelevant, they must each be dealt with as the
>   accusations they represent.  This case, in terms of my personal legal
>fees
>   has cost me about $17,000.  The NFB has spent $3,400 or there abouts.
>   Before it is over, my costs will double or triple, which I simply
>can't
>   afford.
>
>   In a broader sense though, I'm not sure I want the money of NFB's
>members
>   used to defend such irrelevant accusations.  Dr. Maurer has to make
>tough
>   decisions like these and I don't envy him the task.  Not all things in
>
>life
>   are simple and this is, unfortunately, one of them.
>   Mike
>
>   -----Original Message-----
>   From: nfb-talk-bounces at nfbnet.org [mailto:nfb-talk-bounces at nfbnet.org]
>
>On
>   Behalf Of Sherri
>   Sent: Wednesday, August 08, 2007 2:25 AM
>   To: mabullis at hotmail.com; NFB Talk Mailing List
>   Subject: Re: [nfb-talk] Blind Parents and Divorce
>
>   Michael,
>
>   Though you say that much of this situation does not have to do with
>   blindness or rather with your ex-wife's problems with your blindness,
>it
>   really does. I would still think the NFB would support you in your
>desire to
>   get more liberal visitation with your daughter.
>
>   Have you sent this e-mail to President Maurer? If so, what is his
>opinion?
>   Perhaps Barbara Cheadle would be a good person to talk with about your
>   situation.
>
>   I have known several blind fathers who have primary custody of their
>   children. One of these got custody of his little boy when the child
>was an
>   infant, because his wife walked out on them. He had to jump through a
>lot of
>   hoops for it to happen though.
>
>   You seem to be a very caring and devoted father who has made the
>mistake, as
>   I have, of thinking that people are decent and will play by your
>rules. Not
>   true!
>
>   I hope you have success and will get good advice about how to deal
>with your
>   problem. Know that you were there for your daughter when she was
>little and
>   she will always love you no matter what.
>
>
>   ----- Original Message -----
>   From: "Michael Bullis" <mabullis at hotmail.com>
>   To: "'NFB Talk Mailing List'" <nfb-talk at nfbnet.org>
>   Sent: Tuesday, August 07, 2007 8:43 PM
>   Subject: [nfb-talk] Blind Parents and Divorce
>
>
>   We have all heard about blind parents being questioned in their
>ability to
>   care for their children by social workers or spouses. There have even
>been
>   some notable cases in which courts have ruled in favor of blind
>parents in
>   such situations.  NFB has been instrumental in many of these cases.
>What
>   most of us little understand though is how complex the matter becomes
>in
>   family court.
>
>
>
>   First of all, family court is civil court. The only people who go
>there are
>   people with money. For all practical purposes, you can't go without an
>   Attorney and unless you're very poor there are no organizations set up
>
>to
>   help you.
>
>
>
>   Many of you don't know me well, and frankly, if it weren't for this
>   situation, I would prefer to leave my personal life outside these
>lists.
>
>   However, I find myself in a situation which may well be common to
>others so
>   will tell my story at some length.
>
>
>
>   This story is really about my daughter, but, since it begins with my
>wife
>   and I, I'll tell it that way.
>
>
>
>   In January of 2002 I lived in Portland Oregon.  I met a lady named
>Kristen.
>   At the time I was 49 and she was 39.  With very little knowledge about
>
>one
>   another we had what one could describe as a whirlwind romance that
>included
>   unprotected sex.  By March first we were aware that Kristen was
>pregnant.
>   For me, having a child was always the most scary and at the same time
>most
>   wonderful possibility in my heart.  Scary because I didn't know if I'd
>
>be a
>   good father, didn't know if I could do all the things a father needed
>to do,
>   and honestly, because I really didn't like being around kids, I wasn't
>
>sure
>   if I would really love my child like a father should.  Friends assured
>
>me
>   that such things were the fears of all would-be fathers but I just
>didn't
>   know.
>
>   What was important to me was that my child would be loved and cared
>for and
>   that I would be everything a father should be. I quit my job as the
>   Assistant to the Director of the Oregon Commission for the Blind and
>moved
>   to Maryland to live with Kristen in May.  We were married in July.
>I'd like
>   to tell you that the romance was still thriving, but, even by that
>time
>   there were signs of trouble.  Four days before our marriage we had an
>hour
>   long argument in which she gave me the option of not going through
>with the
>   marriage.  I didn't take the option, assuming that we, as responsible
>adults
>   could work out anything.  So, on July 21st, we were married.
>
>
>
>   Julianna Michaela Humphrey Bullis was born on October 31st, 2002.  It
>was
>   the most wonderful, stunning, life changing moment of my life.  I
>threw
>   myself into parenting like I had always loved it and would love it
>forever.
>   My little girl never knew her daddy was blind.  I changed her diapers,
>
>gave
>   her bottles, dressed her, bathed her and fed her.  She took over my
>heart in
>   a way that nothing ever had.  I always knew that if I had a child it
>could
>   never be that the child would be my servant.  I wanted my blindness to
>
>be
>   just something, like brown hair or blue eyes.  And it was that for
>Julianna.
>   Because she never knew any different, daddy was just daddy.  In fact,
>at
>   first she never believed I was blind, even when I explained it to her
>as she
>   approached two years old.  She said once, apparently after giving the
>matter
>   much consideration, "Daddy, you're not blind.  I know it because you
>have
>   eyes." Hey, how can you argue with such simplicity.  I told her that
>my eyes
>   didn't work, much like when she had a broken toy.  It was obvious she
>didn't
>   agree because she just looked at me and went on playing.
>
>
>
>   We walked in the neighborhood.  We played with neighbor kids.  I
>tucked her
>   in at night and kissed her in the morning.  A place in my heart was
>   overflowing with the love I had never known could exist.
>
>
>
>   But, on the marriage front things were not going so well.  My wife and
>
>I,
>   for a variety of reasons, simply didn't relate to life in the same
>ways.  By
>   summer of 2003 we began marriage counseling and were, off and on,  in
>some
>   form of counseling until the summer of 2006.  The simplest thing I can
>
>say
>   about the counseling was that it didn't seem to work.  I think we both
>   honestly tried to do everything we could to make it work, but it
>didn't.
>
>
>
>   The issue of blindness began rearing it's head when Julianna was a
>little
>   past one.  My wife purchased a harness with a strap on the back which
>she
>   asked me to use so Julianna wouldn't "get away."  I told her that
>nobody in
>   the neighborhood used such a thing and I didn't want our daughter
>looking
>   like a weirdo.  "Besides," I said, "I can always hold her hand and
>stay
>   close to her when we're out."  The next thing that came was a wrist
>strap
>   which I was asked to use.  Again I said that it was unnecessary.  My
>wife
>   called in her parents who described their fears about Julianna getting
>
>away
>   from me.  I told them that I respected their concerns and that if I
>ever
>   felt that Julianna was in danger I would use the strap, or, if I were
>in a
>   large crowd, I could see some merit to it.
>
>
>
>   In September of 2005, the parallel paths of blindness and
>disagreements
>   about other issues came to a head and we separated.  I got an
>apartment in
>   Charles Village, a neighborhood of Baltimore, and my wife stayed with
>our
>   daughter at the house.  I provided financial support and we continued
>to
>   attempt reconciliation, both through personal and joint counseling.
>
>
>
>   At first, my wife asked me not to tell our daughter that I was living
>away
>   from home.  She felt I should just say I was working hard and would be
>
>home
>   soon.  I did see Julianna two or three times per week at the family
>home. At
>   some points I suggested that Julianna and I might go on a bus trip to
>the
>   ice cream shop.  Kristen became very uncomfortable and said she was
>afraid
>   of busses and their lack of safety.  She also didn't want me taking
>her in
>   cabs because that too would be dangerous.
>
>
>
>   By January of 2006 Julianna had figured out on her own that daddy had
>an
>   apartment.  I asked Kristen to allow her to come and visit.  She
>demurred,
>   saying that she just needed a little more time to become comfortable
>with
>   all of it.
>
>
>
>   In April of 2006 things came to a head when I suggested to Julianna
>that we
>   could go on a bus ride because she was asking about busses.  My wife's
>   response in this email was clear and to the point. I quote it here:
>"What
>   frightens and makes me, Mom and Dad mistrust your ability to care for
>and
>   protect her, in addition to all the ways in which you have damaged my
>trust
>   (and by extension theirs') is your arrogant insistence that Julianna
>faces
>   no ADDITIONAL peril or jeopardy in potentially dangerous situations in
>
>the
>   care of someone who cannot see.
>
>   That is absurd, and no amount of political correctness with regard to
>your
>
>   (considerable) skills and abilities despite your blindness can make up
>
>for
>   having the additional sense of sight when it comes to locating an
>object, in
>   this case an erratic, extremely quick toddler, that has alluded your
>grasp.
>   This is most especially true in any type of noisy, crowded conditions
>and/or
>   unfamiliar territory."
>
>
>
>   "It is not a matter of subjectivity, Mike. We have all observed that
>if
>   Julianna wants to evade you, she can do so quite effectively within
>the
>   confines of OUR HOUSE. So what could the consequences be if she were
>to
>   suddenly become restless, frustrated, tired of waiting, stubborn and
>angry
>   at a bus stop on a street where cars are speeding past? Or even if she
>   should decide to chase a stray ball into the street in front of our
>own
>   house? You cannot continue to pretend that she cannot wriggle free of
>you,
>   or that she is not capable of defying your admonitions against
>straying (she
>   can suddenly decide to check out a speck glinting in the sunlight in
>the
>   street, that to her is a previously undiscovered treasure!), much less
>
>your
>   ability to recapture her in the split second necessary to keep her
>from
>   darting in front of a car if she were to wriggle free. You cannot
>continue
>   to insist that your ability to recapture her is the same as someone
>who can
>   see precisely where she is and where to grab her. You cannot continue
>the
>   pretense that your abilities ARE the same or equal, merely different,
>   because the stakes are just too high: your daughter's very life."
>
>
>
>   I could make many responses , but they feel so defensive.  No, I
>didn't stop
>   Julianna from evading me at that age in the house.  I preferred to
>ignore
>   the behavior, acting as though I didn't want to find her sometimes.
>That
>   way I wouldn't set up a challenge situation in which she would become
>more
>   creative and desirous of hiding from me.  I think that whether I was
>sighted
>   or not, I would handle the situation that way.  Exerting control sets
>up a
>   very adverse situation.  Now, when it comes to being out in public, I
>   maintained much stricter control, without letting Julianna know it in
>order
>   that she not be in danger.
>
>
>
>   But, at least the cards were on the table and we knew what we were
>fighting
>   about I hoped.  My style when it comes to handling sighted people and
>their
>   concerns about my blindness is to show by example.  I could point out
>that
>   thousands of blind people have successfully raised sighted children
>and so
>   far as the numbers go, there are no more incidents of injury than for
>any
>   other children.  I tried unsuccessfully to point out that I work with
>young
>   children as a part of my job, but it was dismissed because those were
>blind
>   kids who couldn't run away like sighted kids.  What became troublingly
>
>and
>   dismayingly apparent was that no amount of convincing would work.
>
>
>
>   Our separation continued and communication deteriorated.  I was still
>able
>   to visit Julianna at the family home but that was it.  She couldn't
>come to
>   my home and so I continued to not be able to tuck her in at night or
>feed
>   her breakfast in the morning.  A year had gone by since our separation
>
>and
>   still, my heart was breaking because I couldn't just be with my
>daughter.
>
>
>
>   In August, my wife filed for divorce asking for full legal and
>physical
>   custody.  What I discovered was a sad truth about divorce.  It's
>messy!  The
>   grounds were that I was abusive, that I was an irresponsible, risk
>taking,
>   dangerous, alcoholic.  Frankly, when I read all the things that were
>said
>   about me I started to realize how difficult it would be for anyone to
>not
>   believe at least some of it.  In fact, I believed much of it, although
>
>it
>   was out of context and far out of proportion.  But, in the divorce
>game the
>   one who accuses the most is the one with the best chance of winning.
>
>
>
>   I still believed though that Kristen would come to her senses and
>realize
>   that nobody should keep their child from her daddy and that we were
>doing
>   irreparable harm.  I also believed the courts would see this as well.
>
>
>
>   So, after she filed for divorce, I too, had to find a lawyer and
>respond.  I
>   knew going in, as did everyone else, that I had little money to
>continue a
>   long battle.  I had one credit card that I could run up $20,000 on but
>
>that
>   was pretty much it.
>
>
>
>   But, I made the decision that when my daughter got older and asked me
>   "Daddy, didn't you care?  Did you fight for me?"  I had to answer,
>"yes,"
>
>   and mean it.  My little girl has to know, when all is said and done
>that her
>   daddy loved her with all his heart and wants her to be with him and
>that he
>   did everything humanly possible to make that happen without breaking
>the
>   law.
>
>
>
>   Court justice moves slowly.  The soonest we could get a hearing on the
>   "facts" of the matter was March 12th 2007.  Meanwhile all visitations
>were
>   in restaurants or public libraries.  I couldn't come to the family
>home
>   because I was dangerous and Julianna certainly couldn't come to my
>home and
>   be with me unsupervised.  Do I sound like a pedophile to you.  It's
>what I
>   felt like.  Some kind of criminal who couldn't be trusted to have
>private
>   communications or interactions with his daughter.
>
>
>
>   Three or four days before the March hearing my wife's lawyer called to
>
>begin
>   negotiating.  He agreed to a plan that would lead to week-end visits
>within
>   four months.  He knew that all the accusations were simply tactics,
>not
>   realities.  He also knew that my witness list would overwelm his.  I
>had
>   people willing to testify about my character and about my ability to
>work
>   with children.  I also had former neighbors who were ready to testify
>that I
>   was a capable and responsible parent.  No way did he want to go to
>court on
>   the issues of visitation.  Michael Jones was scheduled to come in from
>   Atlanta, paid for by the NFB, to deal with broader matters of blind
>   parenting.  In other words, when the chips were down, my wife's lawyer
>   didn't want to go to court about these matters and so quickly
>negotiated an
>   agreement.
>
>
>
>   Among the stipulations in the agreement was one that said that I would
>
>allow
>   Kristen to "inspect" my house and make "recommendations" about things
>that
>   were unsafe. I'm a bachelor now and felt that any advice anybody
>wanted to
>   give was useful so, I agreed, particularly since the language clearly
>said
>   "recommendations". What I discovered, after the hearing, was that my
>wife's
>   lawyer had no intention of encouraging her to follow the agreement.
>My
>   wife's position was that she could make lists of problems within my
>house
>   and that I must fix them all in order for any meaningful visits to
>take
>   place. No matter what I fixed, there were more problems. I spent $600
>trying
>   to make things right, but, they never were.  Because of the way courts
>
>work,
>   I would have to take her back to court in order to get a judge to
>declare
>   her in default of the agreement.  I have no money for this anymore.
>In
>   fact, I've had to terminate my Attorney because I simply can't afford
>one.
>   Bankruptcy is likely for me in the next few months, depending upon how
>
>my
>   creditors choose to pursue payments.
>
>
>
>   So, here we come up on two years and I effectively have two hours per
>week
>   of supervised visits with my daughter.  Yes, she can now  come to my
>home,
>   but only if Kristen or her parents are here to supervise.  Julianna
>now
>   believes that I'm unsafe.  Apparently she's heard enough family talk
>to
>   figure out that daddy is dangerous.
>
>
>
>   I don't know what to say. In one sense, my story is about a blind man
>who is
>   being discriminated against because of the misconceptions about
>blindness.
>   In another sense, it's the story of family court justice that depends
>upon
>   money to gain any form of resolution.  Yes, there are nonprofit
>   organizations available but they usually focus on the parent rather
>than the
>   child.  If a female or her children are being abused, there is help.
>Moving
>   the case to the criminal side of things gets attention.  Legal Aid is
>for
>   poor people but even legal Aid doesn't do many divorces because their
>   resources simply aren't adequate.
>
>
>
>   Finally, men just aren't very pitiable.  We don't look like victims
>and
>   often stay silent for far to long when this kind of situation comes
>up.  I
>   find it hard to believe that I've let two years of my daughter's life
>go by,
>   always believing that things will resolve themselves at the next
>meeting or
>   in the next court action.
>
>
>
>   The difficulty with this case is that, although it revolves around
>   blindness, like many divorces, it also revolves around many other
>things.
>
>   I questioned my own sanity at one point and contacted my X-wife.  I
>gave her
>   the allegations of my abusiveness and angry tendencies and asked her
>if she
>   saw these things in me.  She said she'd be glad to come and testify on
>
>my
>   behalf that I had never even raised my voice to her in our eight year
>   marriage.  My lawyer told me that having X-wives testify in divorce
>cases is
>   pretty much not done but, if I have the chance I'll ask her to do it.
>I
>   mean, if anybody should have bad things to say it would be her.
>
>
>
>   The NFB has taken on cases like mine, but only to the extent of
>helping with
>   blindness related issues. In my case, about twenty-five percent of the
>
>case
>   is blindness related. NFB was/is willing to pay for that, but, it will
>
>be of
>   little value if I can't afford the other 75 percent. If clever
>opponents can
>   mask their true concerns behind other subterfuge, the case becomes
>very
>   expensive. Divorce court is a very sleazy and messy place. The lawyer
>who
>   makes the most accusations and breaks the other party financially
>wins.
>
>   Although the best interests of the child is the standard, few cases
>come to
>   trial and no lawyer is censured for bare knuckle fighting when it
>comes to
>   divorces.
>
>   What my daughter needs is an Attorney for her side.  Usually courts
>will
>   appoint somebody to represent the child's interests if requested, but
>you
>   have to pay for that.  I'm asking for the Baltimore County Courts to
>appoint
>   an Attorney for Julianna but also have to ask that the Attorney work
>for no
>   pay.  Results are doubtful.  She is the real loser here and somebody
>needs
>   to defend her right to see her daddy.
>
>
>
>   All I have ever wanted was to get to a court-room in which I could
>present
>   witnesses to refute their accusations and vouch for who I am.  I don't
>   believe, by the way, that my wife is lying.  She's not making things
>up.  In
>   her own mind she really believes what she says.  What I think though
>is that
>   the courts ought to do what they say their mission is.  They say that
>the
>   standard is the "best interests of the child."  I believe when they
>sort it
>   out, the best interests for my daughter involve being with her daddy,
>in his
>   home, unsupervised.  I believe she needs a daddy to go fishing with.
>She
>   needs a daddy to wake her up in the morning and kiss her goodnight.  I
>
>also
>   believe that lawyers like my wife's should be evaluated on the extent
>to
>   which they truly seek to find resolution to family cases. When a child
>
>is
>   involved, the usual attack and attack rules ought to be changed.
>Lawyers
>   ought to be given public scrutiny for the extent to which they resolve
>
>cases
>   rather than prolong them.  A lawyer with a history of divorce cases
>going to
>   trial ought to be evaluated on his negotiating abilities.  Most
>importantly,
>   lawyers who take on divorce cases where children are involved should
>be held
>   to a much higher standard than others.  They should be required to
>   demonstrate that they counseled their client on the possible danger to
>
>their
>   clients' children of anger over the divorce interfering with good
>judgment.
>   Or, allowing their anger over a marriage gone bad to interfere with
>   withholding visitation.  They should be required to justify with
>actual
>   evidence which they have evaluated, any limitation of parental rights.
>
>In
>   other words, the courts ought to hold to a high standard when it comes
>
>to
>   children.  Finally, courts need to move away from the presumption that
>   mothers are better care-givers than fathers.  My lawyer advised me
>from the
>   beginning, that I would have little or no chance of gaining fifty
>percent
>   custody of Julianna.  Because she is with her mother, that is where
>she
>   should stay. I think that we often think of dads as having to be
>dragged
>   into court to do what's right by their children.  Sadly, I think
>that's true
>   far more often than it should be.  But, I have spoken to many father's
>
>who
>   simply say that they were being asked to pay but weren't being given
>the
>   rights of parents so they just rebelled and quit the system.  I'm a
>dad who
>   continues to pay but who wants to be his girl's daddy before it's to
>late.
>
>   Sincerely,
>
>   Michael Bullis
>
>   Work phone: 410-737-2604
>
>   Cell: 443-992-1537
>
>   Evening phone: 410-323-4884
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>------------------------------------------------------------------------
>----
>   ----
>
>
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