[Jobs] From friend to boss

[ANTONIO GUIMARAES]

>From friend to boss: Promotion can alter relationship dynamics

August 16, 2006

http://www.indystar.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20060816/COLUMNISTS12/608160411/1045

real life: Dana Knight
>From friend to boss: Promotion can alter relationship dynamics
August 16, 2006

Everyone's gathered in the conference room nibbling on spinach wraps, cheese
cubes and gulping down sparkling grape juice The new supervisor is about to
be toasted. You look at your co-worker, your best pal in the office and
smile knowingly. "Wonder who our newest loser boss is going to be?" you
whisper.
For some reason, he doesn't even chuckle.
Within minutes, it all turns to a blur as he struts to the front of the room
to accept his position -- as your boss. Talk about awkward.
How is a worker to handle that ego buster -- when a friend becomes the
manager? How do you go from casual lunches griping about the boss to
watching what
you say around him because he is the boss?
"Younger workers especially have a tendency to develop friendships with
their colleagues that extend outside of the office," says Peter Handal,
chief executive
of Dale Carnegie Training, a global management training company in New York.
"Promotions can put a strain on personal and professional relationships."
It has happened to me. That fun-loving, Indiana Pacers-obsessed friend I ate
lunch with every day, discussing workplace woes and Blink 182, became my
editor
at a former job. He turned out to be an awesome boss. But it still was weird
to hear him typing away, making changes to my story that, for the record,
needed no changes. It was even tougher when he sent me out on an assignment
I didn't want to do. What happened to friends looking out for one another?
Jenny Rains says she won't soon forget the moment when her friend became her
boss.
"I felt like she had taken a major step forward in her career and I had
taken 10 steps back," says Rains, who works as a customer service
representative
in Indianapolis.
Employees shouldn't feel that way. Just because someone else moves up
doesn't mean you move down. Keep in mind that as tough as it is on you, it
could be
even tougher on the new manager.
"It was a little awkward at first," says Chris Watts, the vice president and
director of public relations at MARC USA/Indianapolis, who went from
co-worker
to boss of several employees. "But I had a better situation than many."
His department had a history of working as a team, and heavy-duty
supervision wasn't part of the philosophy. His advice to newly promoted
workers: "Take
a low-pressure approach, talk frankly about your plans for your new role and
solicit input and advice from your former co-workers."
Handal offers a few suggestions to workers:
Talk as soon as possible to your new boss. Be open about problems that may
arise. Set ground rules for your new relationship. Can you still go to
concerts
together? Send jokes via e-mail?
Don't expect things to stay the same. They can't, so let go.
Respect the new boss. Treat him or her as you would any other boss, which
also means giving constructive criticism, if needed.
Take advantage. This could be the greatest thing that ever happened to you.
The ease of communication and personal history between you may give you a
professional
advantage.