[Iabs-talk] Breaking News!!!

[Joe Orozco]

        This Just In:

    Word has it from reliable critics of the country's leading blindness 
movement that the NFB's got balls.  What?!?!  ...  Goal balls, that is.  How 
dare this group of radicals plan the most exciting interstate throw-down in 
the history of balls!

    Dick Jewels, spokesman for the Blind Athletes League of Loser Sports, 
otherwise known as, well, BALLS, was quoted as saying: "This time those 
Federationists have gone too far in redefining the athletic abilities of the 
average blind person.  It is a blow to the very groin of the pity for the 
less competitive nature of the blind our league has worked hard to maintain 
in the eyes of a sympathetic public."

    Advocates for the National Association of Disabled Sports praise the 
impending tournament at the NFB's national convention in Atlanta as a 
long-awaited relief.  They point out that Blind people can compete on equal 
terms on the playing field.  "The idea that blind athletes need relaxed 
rules to be able to score is just nuts," says NADS president, Jimmy Saxful.

    Organizers of the goal ball endeavor predict this will be the largest 
tournament of balls ever felt in the state of Georgia.  Big, small, young 
and old ... the event is said to welcome participants from all walks of life 
regardless of their athletic ability.  At its core, organizers want the 
event to be an enjoyable opportunity for people to meet in a fun and easy 
environment.  Nothing rouses Federation spirit like a few rounds of friendly 
competition!  Potential players interested in a teleconference on Monday, 
April 23 at 9:00 PM Eastern should contact Sports and Recreation First Vice 
President, Christella Garcia, at:

christellablue at gmail.com

    Feel free to invite a couple of friends.  You may also contact Joe 
Orozco, assuming he has not been disowned.

    Debates continue to rage over a blind person's athletic capacity. 
Critics insist the NFB has once again erected standards too hard to be 
achieved by the average blind individual.  Supporters embrace the move as a 
new thrust toward independence.  One Federationist, we'll call him Bob, put 
the matter into perspective when he said: "The goal ball tournament has 
swelled into a highly anticipated tradition, and despite the escalating 
ridicule, there is no denying that the balls are coming soon."

***The preceding did not receive the official endorsement of the National 
Federation of the Blind, the National Sports and Recreation Division or 
anyone, past or present, publically associated with the organization.  "The 
NFB's Got Balls" is the ground-breaking slogan credited to Everett Gavel.***