[Faith-talk] Fw: Good Monday Morning Humor to you!

[Everett Gavel]

Hello,

I thought some of you might like to subscribe to this 
once-a-week joke newsletter, full of clean, often 
Christian, jokes, puns, and humor.  I've been getting 
it forwarded to me by a friend for awhile now, and this 
past weekend, subscribed myself--as you'll read below 
(oy!).  Anyway, this list has proven to be clean, and 
often full of chuckles and/or laughs.  And those should 
always be shared!  ;-)

God Bless Your Efforts,
Everett
www.everettgavel.com


----- Original Message ----- 
From: "Good Monday Morning Humor" 
<goodmondaymorninghumor at gmail.com>
To: <goodmondaymorninghumor at gmail.com>
Sent: Sunday, January 27, 2008 9:17 PM
Subject: Good Monday Morning Humor to you!


Good Monday Morning Humor to you!

Thank you for keeping the humor coming! This week, 
appreciation goes to
Chris, Elaine, Everett, Jennie Lee for their 
contributions of humor. I must
admit that I had to read Everett's joke twice before I 
got it but that's
what makes a true groaner!

Speaking of Everett, he just joined this e-mail list 
(having been referred
by his friend Marilyn, who was one of my childhood 
babysitters). So if you
know others who want to be like Everett and join this 
list, just have them
contact me at goodmondaymorninghumor at gmail.com and I'll 
get them added to
the fun.

Speaking of I (or me if you prefer), if you don't 
understand a joke then
please let me know and I'll explain it to you. Also, if 
you have CLEAN jokes
to send to me, the contributions would sure be 
appreciated! Send the laughs
to goodmondaymorninghumor at gmail.com and make sure that 
they're clean (if
you're not sure they're clean, then they're probably 
not).

Also, if I forget to share your jokes, please send me a 
gentle reminder. If
you want to be removed from this list, have an address 
change, or have other
feedback, please let me know.

I appreciate the opportunity to start my week with you! 
Have an AWESOME
Monday and an immensely blessed week!

Resting in Him
Jane

PS -- Please have any Items of Interest to me by 
Tuesday, January 29, at
noon (Mountain Time). I'd appreciate you sending those 
to my
itemsofinterestforyou at gmail.com
account.
----------

*BITS OF HUMOR #1 (from Jennie Lee)*

YOU KNOW YOU ARE LIVING IN 2008 when...

1. You accidentally enter your PIN on the microwave.

2. You haven't played solitaire with real cards in 
years.

3. You have a list of 15 phone numbers to reach your 
family of three.

4. You e-mail the person who works at the desk next to 
you.

5. Your reason for not staying in touch with friends 
and family is that they
don't have e-mail addresses.

6. You pull up in your own driveway and use your cell 
phone to see if anyone
is home to help you carry in the groceries.

7. Every commercial on television has a web site at the 
bottom of the
screen.

8. Leaving the house without your cell phone, which you 
didn't even have the
first 20 or 30 (or 60) years of your life, is now a 
cause for panic and you
turn around to go and get it.

10. You get up in the morning and go on line before 
getting your coffee.

11. You start tilting your head sideways to smile. : )

12. You're reading this and nodding and laughing.

*
BITS OF HUMOR #2 (from Elaine)*
Q. What do they call pastors in Germany ?
A. German Shepherds.

Q. Who was the greatest financier in the Bible?
A. Noah He was floating his stock while everyone else 
was in liquidation.

Q. Who was the greatest female financier in the Bible? 
A. Pharaoh's
daughter. She went down to the bank of the Nile and 
drew out a little
prophet.

Q. What kind of motor vehicles are in the Bible?
A. Jehovah drove Adam and Eve out of the Garden in a 
Fury. David's Triumph
was heard throughout the land. Also, probably a Honda, 
because the apostles
were all in one Accord.

Q.. Who was the greatest comedian in the Bible?
A. Samson. He brought the house down.

Q. What excuse did Adam give to his children as to why 
he no longer lived in
Eden ?
A. Your mother ate us out of house and home.

Q. Which servant of God was the most flagrant 
lawbreaker in the Bible?
A. Moses. He broke all 10 commandments at once.

Q. Which area of Palestine was especially wealthy?
A. The area around Jordan The banks were always 
overflowing.

Q. Who is the greatest babysitter mentioned in the 
Bible?
A. David. He rocked Goliath to a very deep sleep.

Q. Which Bible character had no parents?
A. Joshua, son of Nun.

Q. Why didn't they play cards on the Ark ?
A. Because Noah was standing on the deck. ( Groan ...)

PS. Did you know it's a sin for a woman to make coffee?
Yup, it's in the Bible. It says . . . 'He-brews'

KEEP SMILING!!!! GOD LOVES YOU BUNCHES AND BUNCHES!!!!

Friends are God's way of taking care of us.

*BITS OF HUMOR #3 (from Chris)
*Hymn #365

A minister was completing a Temperance sermon. With 
great emphasis he said,
'If I had all the beer in the world, I'd take it and 
pour it into the
river.' With even greater emphasis he said, 'And if I 
had all the wine in
the world, I'd take it and pour it into the river.' And 
then finally,
shaking his fist in the air, he Said, 'And if I had all 
the whiskey in the
world, I'd take it and pour it into the river.'

Sermon complete, he sat down.

The song leader stood very cautiously and announced 
with a smile, nearly
laughing, 'For our closing song, let us sing Hymn #365, 
'Shall We Gather at
the River.'

*BITS OF HUMOR #4 (from Everett)
*While walking down the street the other day, a woman
pulled up beside me and asked, "Do you know how to get 
to the hospital from
here?"

I replied, "Yes.  It's easy."

Continuing, I said, "You see that building up ahead?"

"Yes," she replied, after looking ahead on the road.

So I told her, "You drive right into that 
building--that'll get you to the
hospital."

----------
Jane Freund
Writer, Speaker, and Communication Coach
PO Box 8913
Boise, ID 83707
(208) 336-8178
janelfreund at gmail.com
http://www.janelfreund.com -- NEW AND IMPROVED so 
please check it out!

*"Writing until I get it right!"
*
"You never know whom you'll influence nor when nor 
how." - Sue Mousseau
(1938-2002)

*If you enjoy Monday Morning Humor, you may also be 
interested in two other
weekly e-mails I distribute. Visit
**http://www.janelfreund.com*<http://www.janelfreund.com/>
* and check out Items of Interest and The Freundship 
Column. If you want to
be added to either or both of those lists, just let me 
know.*