[Faith-talk] Worries of the VI/Blind finding mates....

[Everett Gavel]

Here's one last article I just reread, and wanted to
share.  It fits in with this thread, I believe.  It's
from BackToTheBible.org and is titled, "What You Can Do
About Loneliness."

May His Blessings Be Upon You,
Everett



BackToTheBible.org > Relationships
What You Can Do About Loneliness
by Gary Oliver
www.backtothebible.org/bible_studies/articles/


God can use the pain of loneliness to move you into a
deeper relationship with Himself and others, as an
opportunity to learn, grow, deepen, develop and mature.
What Satan has designed for evil, God can use for good.
We can become more than conquerors (Rom. 8:37). But
where do we start?


First, seek fellowship with God. Thank Him and praise
Him for His person, His promises and His
lovingkindness. That's what David did in Psalm 142.
Pour out your heart to Him in prayer. Share your
concerns, hurts, fears, frustrations and
discouragements. Christ has promised to be with us
always, "even until the end of the age" (Matt. 28:20).

In addition, He is our great high priest who
understands us and can sympathize with us (Heb. 4:15).
We are told to "draw near with confidence to the throne
of grace, that we may receive mercy and may find grace
to help in time of need" (v. 17).


Second, notice what you are telling yourself about your
loneliness. On a sheet of paper, complete the phrase "I
am lonely because..." ten times. Are you blaming
yourself, God, other people, fate or circumstances?
These may be excuses to keep you from trusting God and
risking growth. On the back of that paper, write ten
specific promises from God's Word regarding His love
and His plans and provisions for you.


Third, develop some creative options. What are the
possibilities? Thank God that you don't have to suffer
from chronic loneliness. Take another sheet of paper
and complete the phrase "With God's help I can..." ten
times. What haven't you tried? What have you tried that
you can try again? Talk to others who have overcome
loneliness and find out what worked for them.

Learn from the Apostle Paul. When he was in prison, he
didn't just sit around feeling bad. He took the
initiative. He wrote letters to his friends: asked them
to visit him: shared his emotions, joys and sorrows
with the Lord and with his friends. He looked for ways
to minister to and encourage others.

Look around you. What concerns and needs do you see?
Don't just think of people you know. Consider people at
church or in your community whom you may have heard
about but have never met. What skills, interests or
resources has God given you? What can you do to reach
out and help others? Even little acts of kindness and
little deeds of love are no longer little when God is
in them.

Most lonely people have inadequate communication
skills, which make reaching out even more threatening.
A valuable fourth step for lonely people is to work on
increasing your communication skills. John Powell, in
his book Why Am I Afraid to Tell You Who I Am? lists
five levels of communication.

Level 1: Circle Conversation. Small talk is safe
because there is no real sharing of ourselves.

Level 2: Reporting the Facts About Others. This is also
fairly safe for lonely people. There is little risk
involved in reporting the ideas of other people.
Approximately 90 percent of the communication of those
who suffer from chronic loneliness takes place at Level
1 or Level 2.

Level 3: Sharing My Ideas and Judgments. Here we begin
to take some risk. As I tell you some of my opinions, I
will be watching you carefully to see your reaction. If
you respond favorably, then we can probably go to the
next level. If not, then I will play it safe and stay
at Level 1 or 2.

Level 4: Sharing My Feelings. When we share our
feelings, we tell another person a lot about us.
Because of the fear of rejection and failure, sharing
feelings can be risky. But it provides a unique
opportunity for growth. If we don't take the risk and
share, we are guaranteed failure.

Level 5: Peak Communication. This involves complete
commitment and trust. We know we are safe, so there is
no need to held back. Powell compares Level 5
communication to two musical instruments playing in
perfect harmony.


Now it's time to take action. Sitting around feeling
bad and waiting for something to happen is not what the
Bible means when it talks about "redeeming the time."
Don't ignore your feelings, but do take eyes off
yourself and your problems and focus on specific things
you can do. If you have followed my suggestions so far,
then you already have a number of options. Make a list
of the ideas you came up with and put them in order,
starting with the easiest and least threatening task
first. Start the change process by taking some small
and safe steps.

Since our patterns of thinking and responding have
taken years to develop, they won't change overnight. In
fact, an overnight transformation is probably only a
surface or cosmetic change. Meaningful change involves
a series of small steps and takes time. The process is
usually simple, but it is rarely easy.

Also remember that, although you often feel alone, you
are not alone. God designed us to be in relationship.
One of the many effects of the Fall was the creation of
a barrier between God and man and between man and other
men. One of the results of the cross was to provide a
basis for restoring our relationship with God and with
one another. We don't all have to become extroverts,
but we all need some companionship and a few close
friends. What God has promised, He will accomplish--if,
with His help, we are willing to set aside our fears,
trust Him, and by faith take some new steps.