[Faith-talk] Worries of the VI/Blind finding mates....

[Everett Gavel]

Okay, this thread of discussion made me go back into
some saved articles I've had.  Turns out I was thinking
of "requirements" in the past, after all.  (smile)

I hope this article below proves helpful to someone.
It's from "Single Adult Ministries" and is titled, "5
Fundamental Qualities to Look For in a Mate."


Enjoy,
Everett


5 Fundamental Qualities to Look For in a Mate
http://singles.ag.org/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=2442&Itemid=2272


Everyday life consists of considerable amounts of
thought-provoking, life-altering decisions and, if the
truth were told, at times it can be downright
exhausting. In fact, amongst the most complex decision
you may face is the challenge of having to choose a
mate, most notably the right mate.

Discerning the "right mate" is a genuine challenge that
Christian singles are faced with and even after much
prayer and consultation, you inevitably must be capable
of discerning whether or not this person is in fact the
right mate for you. Probing questions you should begin
to ask yourself include, "What qualities are important
to you? Do you share the same spiritual, moral, social,
and economic values?" The answers to these questions
must be determined before pursuing a relationship.

Here are five fundamental qualities to look for in a
mate. These qualities are not exhaustive, but are
fundamental attributes to reveal God's design for a
mate and will assist you in the discovery process.
These characteristics will seem extremely evident, but
yet they are often overlooked. They are non-negotiable.


Committed - The core of the word committed means
"binder" or "pledge;" therefore, a potential mate
should be capable of living up to one. A committed
person should demonstrate a lifestyle of fidelity in
word and in deed. Simply stated, their words should be
backed by their actions (Matthew 5:37). Take note of
his or her commitment to God, in particular, during
difficult times; and their ability to seek spiritual
guidance. This should be of great importance to you.
Discovering the response to this will expose this
person's ability to remain committed to you should
difficulties arise in the midst of your relationship.

Compatible - Compatibility isn't necessarily about
having identical personalities, as differences can
compliment each other. But it is more about the
importance of establishing the essentials. Initially,
do you share similar core values? In discovering your
mate, a common thread should be your spiritual belief
system. The bible states, "Be ye not unequally yoked
together with unbelievers?" (II Corinthians 6:14). Keep
in mind that God's design would only promote unity and
oneness with Him. Next, do you have similar lifestyles?
Studies show that people from similar backgrounds are
more likely to stay together; obviously, this is not
always the case, but it serves as a launching pad for
judgment. Finally, consider friends, finances, and
social interests: is there a common balance in those
areas? If you observe imbalance and your core values
are challenged, it would be best if you reevaluate the
relationship in order to prevent any misleading
expectations.

Trustworthy - Honoring promises is high on my list of
requirements in being a person of integrity. A
trustworthy mate will seek to respect his words and
live up to them (Numbers 30:2). If you've ever been
stood up, then you understand where I'm coming from. No
one likes to be forgotten or dumped upon. Frankly, it
hurts! Granted, people do have a right to "change their
minds," but if they routinely go back on their
promises, you may want to evaluate the pattern. The
foundation of any good, working relationship begins
with trust. A mate who honors their words will prove to
be a priceless asset to you as a future mate.

Faithful - A person who possesses this quality will
demonstrate an allegiance towards God, you, and others.
In any environment, whether private or social, this
person's standards remain stable and consistent. If
not, it is likely they will not remain faithful to you.
This character quality is a necessity towards building
a solid relationship and should not be optional, but
mandatory.

Giving - This quality is not about giving material
gifts, but about selfless behavior (John 3:16). The
person who possesses this character quality will be
centered on giving of himself and putting others first.
This person will demonstrate sensitivity towards you
and your needs, and the ability to meet those needs.
Most notably, a giver will promote opportunities for
your growth and support you in them. Their delight will
be in watching you grow and to support your growth
wholeheartedly.


In closing, there is one thought I would like to leave
with you. God's plan is to bless you (Jeremiah. 29:11).
His plan is to bless you with a mate that is capable of
supporting His plans for your life. Choosing a mate of
God's design will serve as a catalyst for you to reach
your Divine Destiny in Christ Jesus. Many times people
subconsciously search for personalities that are on
their wavelength and sometimes it takes a while for
people to realize they don't fit. If you can discern
incompatibility early, it will save a lot of heartache.
As George Eliot stated in his quote about friendship
(and I have learned it to be true), "keep what is worth
keeping, and then with the breath of kindness blow the
rest away."

As you are faced with the thought-provoking,
life-altering decisions of life, keep your hand in
God's hands and He will guide you into all truth (John
16:3).


By Lisa Townsend
© Lisa Townsend. Used With Permission.

----------------------------------------------
Minister Lisa Townsend is the founder of the Divinity
Ministry Radio Broadcast entitled, "Saved, Single & Set
Free." Min. Townsend is currently the Director of the
Empowered & Progressive Singles For Christ Ministry
(EPSC), located at the Freedom Christian Bible
Fellowship Church, under the leadership of Apostle
Gilbert Coleman, Jr. If you desire to contact Minister
Townsend email her at EPSCTEAM at yahoo.com .