[Faith-talk] Prayer Request for a Personal Issue

[Mary Donahue]

Thanks, Beth.

Mary Donahue


----- Original Message ----- 
From: "Beth Wright" <beth.wright at mindspring.com>
To: "Faith-talk,for the discussion of faith and religion" 
<faith-talk at nfbnet.org>
Sent: Wednesday, May 31, 2006 12:59 PM
Subject: Re: [Faith-talk] Prayer Request for a Personal Issue


> Mary, I will certainly be praying for you.  I hope you can resolve this
> difficult situation with your parents.
>
> Beth Wright
> ----- Original Message ----- 
> From: "Mary Donahue" <braille at sbcglobal.net>
> To: "Faith-talk,for the discussion of faith and religion"
> <faith-talk at nfbnet.org>; <for.the.faith-faith-talk at nfbnet.org>
> Sent: Wednesday, May 31, 2006 1:19 PM
> Subject: [Faith-talk] Prayer Request for a Personal Issue
>
>
>> Good morning everyone,
>>
>>    I pray everyone is having a blessed day. I am writing to send a prayer
>> request about a personal issue regarding me and my parents.
>>
>>    First, let me begin at the beginning, which goes back to 1985, the 
>> year
>> Pete and I got married. I was still working for the State of Wisconsin
>> Department of Public Instruction as a Braille transcriber based in the
>> Wisconsin School for the Visually Handicapped, now the Wisconsin Center
>> for
>> the Blind and Visually Impaired. Pete and I had gone together for almost
>> six
>> months. That previous fall, I had gone to Texas for Thanksgiving to meet
>> his
>> family and to spend a few days with a close school friend of mine. At 
>> that
>> same time, I had invited Pete up north for a prom that the WSVH student
>> council was putting on, and he came. It was only supposed to be for a
>> weekend, but ended up being for a month. During that time, I took him 
>> home
>> to meet my parents, and their values did not match up with his. When you
>> get
>> two outspoken people together, there is bound to be clashing. I meant my
>> mother and Pete. They tried to tell me to break up with him. When I was 
>> in
>> Texas that previous Thanksgiving, I felt God was drawing Pete and me
>> closer
>> together than ever before. I was not about to have others tell me what to
>> do. That time, I must have written a two- to four-page typewritten letter
>> telling my parents  so. The more someone tells me to do something, the
>> more
>> I do the opposite, especially if it is God's will.
>>
>>    At any rate, in February of 1985, I came to Texas with Pete, and about
>> six weeks later, much to my parents' displeasure, we got married. True,
>> the
>> first three years were rocky, and I am not saying they are perfect now,
>> but
>> my parents did not marry Pete; I did. Ever since we have been married, 
>> and
>> my parents have planned on coming down, we have both been nervous and
>> prayed
>> that there would be good visits.
>>
>>    Things came to a head this past February when my parents came. I know
>> Linda has heard some of what I am saying already, but let me repeat it
>> again
>> for the benefit of others on this list. The weekend of February 10-12,
>> 2006,
>> was the weekend my parents visited, and it was the same weekend that my
>> job
>> location with Marriott Reservations was going to move locations, so my
>> parents' visit did not help the level of stress. February 10 was a good
>> day.
>> We all went out and had a pleasant dinner together. I put my parents up 
>> in
>> the Airport Courtyard by Marriott Hotel up the street because they had
>> stayed there before, and that way, they would have their privacy. 
>> However,
>> the next day, after we looked at furniture for a belated Christmas
>> present,
>> and had gone to Best Buy to get the home theater system (hidden charges
>> and
>> all)!, things went to a head after we came home. I am thankful that time
>> that Pete went into the bathroom and stayed until after they left.
>>
>>    The next afternoon was very tense between my parents and me. I had to
>> use tough love, and tell them that they were no longer welcome here. I
>> spent
>> about three weeks of sleepless nights, also finding out at that time that
>> my
>> blood pressure had risen, and it took me five weeks to learn the way
>> around
>> our new building at work.
>>
>>     However, on March 20, when our new living room furniture arrived, I
>> had
>> to break down and send my parents an email message thanking them. After
>> all,the furniture was a belated Christmas present from them. During that
>> time when we were leaving each other alone, my rehab counselor from the
>> Division of Blind Services had referred me to one of her other consumers
>> who
>> did housekeeping services. It turned out that this lady and her husband
>> are
>> in business together, so the housekeeping was a team effort. My dad
>> offered
>> to pay for their services, and this couple comes every other weekend. I 
>> do
>> not have a problem with that.
>>
>>    However, I did have a problem with my parents telling Pete and me to
>> buy
>> a specific washer and dryer, and to buy it at a specific store other than
>> Best Buy. With the work that the Federation is doing with appliance
>> companies such as Whirlpool, we want to go into an appliance store and
>> check
>> out appliances to see to it that Pete and I can work these appliances
>> independently before purchasing. We did that with our computers, our cell
>> phones, and our home theater system, and we will do the same thing with a
>> washer and dryer and microwave oven. When I called my parents back Monday
>> evening, my mother gave me an ultimatum: either buy the Maytag that our
>> cleaning team picked out, or nothing at all. In other words, they would
>> not
>> help us pay for any other washer and dryer. Our current washer and dryer
>> is
>> working except that it needs a preventive maintenance check and a new
>> dial.
>>
>>    Needless to say, on Monday evening, after I talked to my parents,
>> things
>> came to a head, and Pete typed an email message on my computer, and sent
>> it
>> to them. Unfortunately, I used some words I shouldn't have used, and God
>> forgive me. I will try to write to my parents later about that. In any
>> case,
>> my mother was very upset when she wrote back. I am just tired of them
>> telling me what to do and what to buy. I want to forgive my parents, but
>> right now, it is very difficult. I had to put my foot down yesterday and
>> tell them not to plan on seeing me at the end of September. I am not 
>> going
>> back on my word. If I have to go up there and listen to Mother and
>> Dad talk about Pete and his faults and belittling him, I don't ever want
>> to
>> go up there. I have other people in Wisconsin to visit, too. At the end 
>> of
>> my mother's message, she said she had already lost two children, and it
>> looked like she was losing another. She did not actually say it, but she
>> may
>> as well have said I was dead to them.
>>
>>    I apologize for all of the details, but everything is leading up to a
>> prayer request. Please pray that my parents and I can somehow restore our
>> relationship if it is God's will. They are older people, after all. (My
>> dad
>> just turned 80 at the end of March, and my mother was 76 on her last
>> birthday.) If we end up buying another washer and dryer and microwave, 
>> the
>> least I can do is tell them about it, but I must remain firm. Right now, 
>> I
>> cannot see them physically. Maybe I will be able to a year from this
>> September. I feel bad, because when I visit my parents, I always visit my
>> brother Bill's family in the St. Paul area. I love those three kids; they
>> grow up more and more each year, and they will grow up more in my 
>> absence.
>> All I am asking for is God's strength during this time. Thank you in
>> advance
>> for your prayers. Lord willing, we'll hear from each other soon.
>>
>> Mary Donahue
>>
>>
>>
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