[Faith-talk] Prayer Request for a Personal Issue

[Beth Wright]

Mary, I will certainly be praying for you.  I hope you can resolve this 
difficult situation with your parents.

Beth Wright
----- Original Message ----- 
From: "Mary Donahue" <braille at sbcglobal.net>
To: "Faith-talk,for the discussion of faith and religion" 
<faith-talk at nfbnet.org>; <for.the.faith-faith-talk at nfbnet.org>
Sent: Wednesday, May 31, 2006 1:19 PM
Subject: [Faith-talk] Prayer Request for a Personal Issue


> Good morning everyone,
>
>    I pray everyone is having a blessed day. I am writing to send a prayer
> request about a personal issue regarding me and my parents.
>
>    First, let me begin at the beginning, which goes back to 1985, the year
> Pete and I got married. I was still working for the State of Wisconsin
> Department of Public Instruction as a Braille transcriber based in the
> Wisconsin School for the Visually Handicapped, now the Wisconsin Center 
> for
> the Blind and Visually Impaired. Pete and I had gone together for almost 
> six
> months. That previous fall, I had gone to Texas for Thanksgiving to meet 
> his
> family and to spend a few days with a close school friend of mine. At that
> same time, I had invited Pete up north for a prom that the WSVH student
> council was putting on, and he came. It was only supposed to be for a
> weekend, but ended up being for a month. During that time, I took him home
> to meet my parents, and their values did not match up with his. When you 
> get
> two outspoken people together, there is bound to be clashing. I meant my
> mother and Pete. They tried to tell me to break up with him. When I was in
> Texas that previous Thanksgiving, I felt God was drawing Pete and me 
> closer
> together than ever before. I was not about to have others tell me what to
> do. That time, I must have written a two- to four-page typewritten letter
> telling my parents  so. The more someone tells me to do something, the 
> more
> I do the opposite, especially if it is God's will.
>
>    At any rate, in February of 1985, I came to Texas with Pete, and about
> six weeks later, much to my parents' displeasure, we got married. True, 
> the
> first three years were rocky, and I am not saying they are perfect now, 
> but
> my parents did not marry Pete; I did. Ever since we have been married, and
> my parents have planned on coming down, we have both been nervous and 
> prayed
> that there would be good visits.
>
>    Things came to a head this past February when my parents came. I know
> Linda has heard some of what I am saying already, but let me repeat it 
> again
> for the benefit of others on this list. The weekend of February 10-12, 
> 2006,
> was the weekend my parents visited, and it was the same weekend that my 
> job
> location with Marriott Reservations was going to move locations, so my
> parents' visit did not help the level of stress. February 10 was a good 
> day.
> We all went out and had a pleasant dinner together. I put my parents up in
> the Airport Courtyard by Marriott Hotel up the street because they had
> stayed there before, and that way, they would have their privacy. However,
> the next day, after we looked at furniture for a belated Christmas 
> present,
> and had gone to Best Buy to get the home theater system (hidden charges 
> and
> all)!, things went to a head after we came home. I am thankful that time
> that Pete went into the bathroom and stayed until after they left.
>
>    The next afternoon was very tense between my parents and me. I had to
> use tough love, and tell them that they were no longer welcome here. I 
> spent
> about three weeks of sleepless nights, also finding out at that time that 
> my
> blood pressure had risen, and it took me five weeks to learn the way 
> around
> our new building at work.
>
>     However, on March 20, when our new living room furniture arrived, I 
> had
> to break down and send my parents an email message thanking them. After
> all,the furniture was a belated Christmas present from them. During that
> time when we were leaving each other alone, my rehab counselor from the
> Division of Blind Services had referred me to one of her other consumers 
> who
> did housekeeping services. It turned out that this lady and her husband 
> are
> in business together, so the housekeeping was a team effort. My dad 
> offered
> to pay for their services, and this couple comes every other weekend. I do
> not have a problem with that.
>
>    However, I did have a problem with my parents telling Pete and me to 
> buy
> a specific washer and dryer, and to buy it at a specific store other than
> Best Buy. With the work that the Federation is doing with appliance
> companies such as Whirlpool, we want to go into an appliance store and 
> check
> out appliances to see to it that Pete and I can work these appliances
> independently before purchasing. We did that with our computers, our cell
> phones, and our home theater system, and we will do the same thing with a
> washer and dryer and microwave oven. When I called my parents back Monday
> evening, my mother gave me an ultimatum: either buy the Maytag that our
> cleaning team picked out, or nothing at all. In other words, they would 
> not
> help us pay for any other washer and dryer. Our current washer and dryer 
> is
> working except that it needs a preventive maintenance check and a new 
> dial.
>
>    Needless to say, on Monday evening, after I talked to my parents, 
> things
> came to a head, and Pete typed an email message on my computer, and sent 
> it
> to them. Unfortunately, I used some words I shouldn't have used, and God
> forgive me. I will try to write to my parents later about that. In any 
> case,
> my mother was very upset when she wrote back. I am just tired of them
> telling me what to do and what to buy. I want to forgive my parents, but
> right now, it is very difficult. I had to put my foot down yesterday and
> tell them not to plan on seeing me at the end of September. I am not going
> back on my word. If I have to go up there and listen to Mother and
> Dad talk about Pete and his faults and belittling him, I don't ever want 
> to
> go up there. I have other people in Wisconsin to visit, too. At the end of
> my mother's message, she said she had already lost two children, and it
> looked like she was losing another. She did not actually say it, but she 
> may
> as well have said I was dead to them.
>
>    I apologize for all of the details, but everything is leading up to a
> prayer request. Please pray that my parents and I can somehow restore our
> relationship if it is God's will. They are older people, after all. (My 
> dad
> just turned 80 at the end of March, and my mother was 76 on her last
> birthday.) If we end up buying another washer and dryer and microwave, the
> least I can do is tell them about it, but I must remain firm. Right now, I
> cannot see them physically. Maybe I will be able to a year from this
> September. I feel bad, because when I visit my parents, I always visit my
> brother Bill's family in the St. Paul area. I love those three kids; they
> grow up more and more each year, and they will grow up more in my absence.
> All I am asking for is God's strength during this time. Thank you in 
> advance
> for your prayers. Lord willing, we'll hear from each other soon.
>
> Mary Donahue
>
>
>
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