[Faith-talk] Prayer Request for a Personal Issue

[Keith Wiglesworth]

Hi Peter,
    I'm sure that it is explosive, but just let them and Mary know that
you're standing by her and that everything you do is indeed a joint effort.
    Also remember that they are indeed getting older and won't be around
forever.
    It isn't a popularity contest and the war of wills won't get you
anywhere with them, and perhaps nothing will.
    Just let them know that you'll stand by Mary, and Love them as hard as
it is or may seem to do so.
Keith
----- Original Message -----
From: "Peter Donahue" <pdonahue1 at sbcglobal.net>
To: "Faith-talk,for the discussion of faith and religion"
<faith-talk at nfbnet.org>
Sent: Wednesday, May 31, 2006 2:07 PM
Subject: Re: [Faith-talk] Prayer Request for a Personal Issue


> Good afternoon everyone,
>
>     Just a minor clarification. The message she said I wrote to her
parents
> ended up being a joint effort. Both of us contributed to it including the
> few choice words. People have no idea the fear and stress we're under
> whenever they come for a visit, or for that matter if one of us thinks
we're
> going to get our head bitten off when corresponding with them, or with
> anyone to whom we speak or write in fear of the encounter becoming
hostile.
> Her parents treatment of us only intensifies these fears. Given the right
> set of circumstances and events I dread to think what might happen. The
> Sunday they came here in February I went to Lisa Hall's place until they
> left our place and it was safe to return home that's how much of a time
bomb
> we had ready to explode.
>
>     Anyway I need to get off of this rig and get ready to go shopping.
> Thanks again for the prayers and thoughts.
>
> Peter Donahue
>
>
> ----- Original Message -----
> From: "Mary Donahue" <braille at sbcglobal.net>
> To: "Faith-talk,for the discussion of faith and religion"
> <faith-talk at nfbnet.org>; <for.the.faith-faith-talk at nfbnet.org>
> Sent: Wednesday, May 31, 2006 12:19 PM
> Subject: [Faith-talk] Prayer Request for a Personal Issue
>
>
> Good morning everyone,
>
>     I pray everyone is having a blessed day. I am writing to send a prayer
> request about a personal issue regarding me and my parents.
>
>     First, let me begin at the beginning, which goes back to 1985, the
year
> Pete and I got married. I was still working for the State of Wisconsin
> Department of Public Instruction as a Braille transcriber based in the
> Wisconsin School for the Visually Handicapped, now the Wisconsin Center
for
> the Blind and Visually Impaired. Pete and I had gone together for almost
six
> months. That previous fall, I had gone to Texas for Thanksgiving to meet
his
> family and to spend a few days with a close school friend of mine. At that
> same time, I had invited Pete up north for a prom that the WSVH student
> council was putting on, and he came. It was only supposed to be for a
> weekend, but ended up being for a month. During that time, I took him home
> to meet my parents, and their values did not match up with his. When you
get
> two outspoken people together, there is bound to be clashing. I meant my
> mother and Pete. They tried to tell me to break up with him. When I was in
> Texas that previous Thanksgiving, I felt God was drawing Pete and me
closer
> together than ever before. I was not about to have others tell me what to
> do. That time, I must have written a two- to four-page typewritten letter
> telling my parents  so. The more someone tells me to do something, the
more
> I do the opposite, especially if it is God's will.
>
>     At any rate, in February of 1985, I came to Texas with Pete, and about
> six weeks later, much to my parents' displeasure, we got married. True,
the
> first three years were rocky, and I am not saying they are perfect now,
but
> my parents did not marry Pete; I did. Ever since we have been married, and
> my parents have planned on coming down, we have both been nervous and
prayed
> that there would be good visits.
>
>     Things came to a head this past February when my parents came. I know
> Linda has heard some of what I am saying already, but let me repeat it
again
> for the benefit of others on this list. The weekend of February 10-12,
2006,
> was the weekend my parents visited, and it was the same weekend that my
job
> location with Marriott Reservations was going to move locations, so my
> parents' visit did not help the level of stress. February 10 was a good
day.
> We all went out and had a pleasant dinner together. I put my parents up in
> the Airport Courtyard by Marriott Hotel up the street because they had
> stayed there before, and that way, they would have their privacy. However,
> the next day, after we looked at furniture for a belated Christmas
present,
> and had gone to Best Buy to get the home theater system (hidden charges
and
> all)!, things went to a head after we came home. I am thankful that time
> that Pete went into the bathroom and stayed until after they left.
>
>     The next afternoon was very tense between my parents and me. I had to
> use tough love, and tell them that they were no longer welcome here. I
spent
> about three weeks of sleepless nights, also finding out at that time that
my
> blood pressure had risen, and it took me five weeks to learn the way
around
> our new building at work.
>
>      However, on March 20, when our new living room furniture arrived, I
had
> to break down and send my parents an email message thanking them. After
> all,the furniture was a belated Christmas present from them. During that
> time when we were leaving each other alone, my rehab counselor from the
> Division of Blind Services had referred me to one of her other consumers
who
> did housekeeping services. It turned out that this lady and her husband
are
> in business together, so the housekeeping was a team effort. My dad
offered
> to pay for their services, and this couple comes every other weekend. I do
> not have a problem with that.
>
>     However, I did have a problem with my parents telling Pete and me to
buy
> a specific washer and dryer, and to buy it at a specific store other than
> Best Buy. With the work that the Federation is doing with appliance
> companies such as Whirlpool, we want to go into an appliance store and
check
> out appliances to see to it that Pete and I can work these appliances
> independently before purchasing. We did that with our computers, our cell
> phones, and our home theater system, and we will do the same thing with a
> washer and dryer and microwave oven. When I called my parents back Monday
> evening, my mother gave me an ultimatum: either buy the Maytag that our
> cleaning team picked out, or nothing at all. In other words, they would
not
> help us pay for any other washer and dryer. Our current washer and dryer
is
> working except that it needs a preventive maintenance check and a new
dial.
>
>     Needless to say, on Monday evening, after I talked to my parents,
things
> came to a head, and Pete typed an email message on my computer, and sent
it
> to them. Unfortunately, I used some words I shouldn't have used, and God
> forgive me. I will try to write to my parents later about that. In any
case,
> my mother was very upset when she wrote back. I am just tired of them
> telling me what to do and what to buy. I want to forgive my parents, but
> right now, it is very difficult. I had to put my foot down yesterday and
> tell them not to plan on seeing me at the end of September. I am not going
> back on my word. If I have to go up there and listen to Mother and
> Dad talk about Pete and his faults and belittling him, I don't ever want
to
> go up there. I have other people in Wisconsin to visit, too. At the end of
> my mother's message, she said she had already lost two children, and it
> looked like she was losing another. She did not actually say it, but she
may
> as well have said I was dead to them.
>
>     I apologize for all of the details, but everything is leading up to a
> prayer request. Please pray that my parents and I can somehow restore our
> relationship if it is God's will. They are older people, after all. (My
dad
> just turned 80 at the end of March, and my mother was 76 on her last
> birthday.) If we end up buying another washer and dryer and microwave, the
> least I can do is tell them about it, but I must remain firm. Right now, I
> cannot see them physically. Maybe I will be able to a year from this
> September. I feel bad, because when I visit my parents, I always visit my
> brother Bill's family in the St. Paul area. I love those three kids; they
> grow up more and more each year, and they will grow up more in my absence.
> All I am asking for is God's strength during this time. Thank you in
advance
> for your prayers. Lord willing, we'll hear from each other soon.
>
> Mary Donahue
>
>
>
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