[Faith-talk] Noah 2006.

[Daniel Strube]

this was funny.  I  am still laughing.  thanks for passing it along.
----- Original Message ----- 
From: "Judy Jones" <judy.t.jones at earthlink.net>
To: "Faith-talk,for the discussion of faith and religion" 
<faith-talk at nfbnet.org>
Sent: Tuesday, August 29, 2006 10:43 AM
Subject: Re: [Faith-talk] Noah 2006.


> Amen to that one!
>
> Judy
>
> ----- Original Message ----- 
> From: "cjoyinternetradio" <cjoyinternetradio at comcast.net>
> To: "Faith-talk,for the discussion of faith and religion"
> <faith-talk at nfbnet.org>
> Sent: Tuesday, August 29, 2006 6:20 AM
> Subject: Re: [Faith-talk] Noah 2006.
>
>
>> Poor Knoah, it was good that he built the ark when did.  No legalities.
>> Darryl
>> please read below my footer.
>>
>>
>> On This Week's Take A Break...
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>> Heidi...starringShirley Temple.
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>>
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>> from C JOY INTERNET RADIO
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>>
>> ----- Original Message ----- 
>> From: "Judy Jones" <judy.t.jones at earthlink.net>
>> To: "Faith-talk,for the discussion of faith and religion"
>> <faith-talk at nfbnet.org>
>> Sent: Monday, August 28, 2006 11:43 PM
>> Subject: [Faith-talk] Noah 2006.
>>
>>
>> Greetings,
>>
>> I felt it might be appropriate to post a little humor here, as well.
>> Enjoy.
>>
>> Judy
>>
>> -----------------
>> Noah in 2006
>>
>> In the year 2006 , the Lord came unto Noah, who was now living in the
>> United
>> States, and said, "Once again, the earth has become wicked and
>> over-populated,
>> and I see the end of all flesh before me.
>>
>> Build another Ark and save 2 of every living thing along with a few good
>> humans."
>>
>> He gave Noah the blueprints, saying, "You have 6 months to build the Ark
>> before I will start the unending rain for 40 days and 40 nights."
>>
>> Six months later, the Lord looked down and saw Noah weeping in his yard -
>> but no Ark.
>>
>> "Noah!" He roared, "I'm about to start the rain! Where is the Ark?"
>>
>> "Forgive me, Lord," begged Noah, "but things have changed. I needed a
>> building permit. I've been arguing with the inspector about the need for 
>> a
>> sprinkler
>> system. My neighbors claim that I've violated the neighborhood zoning 
>> laws
>> by building the Ark in my yard and exceeding the height limitations. We
>> had
>> to go to the Development Appeal Board for a decision.
>>
>> Then the Department of Transportation demanded a bond be posted for the
>> future costs of moving power lines and other overhead obstructions, to
>> clear
>> the
>> passage for the Ark's move to the sea. I told them that the sea would be
>> coming to us, but they would hear nothing of it.
>>
>> Getting the wood was another problem. There's a ban on cutting local 
>> trees
>> in order to save the spotted owl. I tried to convince the
>> environmentalists
>> that
>> I needed the wood to save the owls - but no go!
>>
>> When I started gathering the animals, an animal rights group sued me.
>>
>> They insisted that I was confining wild animals against their will. They
>> argued the accommodation was too restrictive, and it was cruel and
>> inhumane
>> to
>> put so many animals in a confined space.
>>
>> Then the EPA ruled that I couldn't build the Ark until they'd conducted 
>> an
>> environmental impact study on your proposed flood.
>> I 'm still trying to resolve a complaint with the Human Rights Commission
>> on
>> how many minorities I'm supposed to hire for my building crew.
>>
>> Immigration and Naturalization is checking the green-card status of most
>> of
>> the people who want to work.
>>
>> The trades unions say I can't use my sons. They insist I have to hire 
>> only
>> Union workers with Ark-building experience.
>>
>> To make matters worse, the IRS seized all my assets, claiming I'm trying
>> to
>> leave the country illegally with endangered species.
>>
>> So, forgive me, Lord, but it would take at least 10 years for me to 
>> finish
>> this Ark."
>>
>> Suddenly the skies cleared, the sun began to shine, and a rainbow
>> stretched
>> across the sky. Noah looked up in wonder and asked, "You mean you're not
>> going
>> to destroy the world?"
>>
>> "No," said the Lord. "The government beat me to it."
>>
>>
>>
>> --------------------------------------------------------------------------------
>>
>>
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