[Blindtlk] blindness and the crayon box

[don nepple]

> From: k7uij at panix.com> To: blindtlk at nfbnet.org> Date: Mon, 3 Sep 2007 16:48:26 -0700> Subject: Re: [Blindtlk] blindness and the crayon box> > Kasondra:> > While I understand the anguish you feel, I read your message with mixed > emotions. On the one hand, your son definitely seemed to be having a > "bad hair" day insofar as being mouthy to adults was concerned. On the > other hand, do you really equate his unkind remark to his father in the > same light as his assertion that you were not capable? To my mind, they > are two different kettles of fish. The one was based upon ignorance > (yes, your son may tell others about your capabilities and may know > about some of your alternative techniques but there is obviously some > doubt way down inside as to whether you can tackle an unfamiliar task). > the other was based upon either a contrary streak (all of us had them as > kids) or, just perhaps, a lack of understanding why remarking upon > someone's girth might not be taken with the greatest of grace by the > someone with the girth. (grin)> > Moreover, was the threat of punishment the right answer? Would it not > have been better to ask Jacob why he thought you couldn't handle the > box? He probably would have been quite puzzled and, unable to come up > with a rational answer, would either come out with something which > sounded lame to even him or would have been brought up short and said "I > don't know" and perhaps been made to think that perhaps society's > prejudices might not be the standard by which one ought to judge truth.> > Just one person's opinion.> > In the end, just realize that this, too, shall pass.> > Mike> > ----- Original Message ----- > From: Kasondra Payne> To: 'NFBnet Blind Parents Mailing List'> Cc: blindtlk at nfbnet.org ; 'NFBnet Blind Kid Mailing List,(for parents > of blind children)'> Sent: Sunday, September 02, 2007 8:08 PM> Subject: [Blindtlk] blindness and the crayon box> > > The story I about to tell is totally true. I am not changing names > because> there is no need to protect the guilty. There are witnesses to > thisevent> including another blind friend that I was talking to on the phone.> > > > Yesterday my family returned from an shopping excursion, and we were> examining all our purchases while I talked on the phone. We had > purchased a> new plastic box for all our crayons. We wanted to separate the > crayons from> the markers. My oldest son, Jacob, was having a hard time closing the > new> box. He asked his father to help him shut it, but my husband, Shawn > was> busy with another new purchase. I volunteered to help Jacob. What > happened> next was completely unexpected and unwelcome.> > > > Jacob shouted, “Mommy, you can’t do that because you’re blind!”> > > > The room fell silent for a moment. Then my friend asked me to verify > what> Jacob had said. At the same time, Shawn jumped into action. He took > Jacob,> and firmly told him that blind people can do anything, and if he ever > said> anything like that again, he wouldn’t be able to sit down for at least > a> week.> > > > Jacob did apologize to me, but I think this is the first time my son > has> ever verbally tried to use my blindness against me. I guess I knew it > would> happen sometime, but I never thought about it. Jacob has always known > blind> people, and he has never shown resistance to any of them. Jacob knows > that> his mom, brother, and sister are blind. He tries to explain it to > other> people. He knows about Braille, canes, and computers that talk. This > is> just a hard situation for me to digest.> > > > By the way, I did show all the kids how to close the latch on the new > crayon> box. And just in case you think that Jacob restricts his barbs to > topics> related to blindness, later in the day he asked Shawn why he was fat? > That> is another discussion for another day.> > > > Kasondra Payne> > > No virus found in this outgoing message.> Checked by AVG Free Edition.> Version: 7.5.484 / Virus Database: 269.13.2/984 - Release Date: > 9/2/2007> 12:59 PM> > > > > ------------------------------------------------------------------------------> > > _______________________________________________> blindtlk mailing list> blindtlk at nfbnet.org> http://www.nfbnet.org/mailman/listinfo/blindtlk
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> From: k7uij at panix.com
> To: blindtlk at nfbnet.org
> Date: Mon, 3 Sep 2007 16:48:26 -0700
> Subject: Re: [Blindtlk] blindness and the crayon box
>
> Kasondra:
>
> While I understand the anguish you feel, I read your message with mixed
> emotions. On the one hand, your son definitely seemed to be having a
> "bad hair" day insofar as being mouthy to adults was concerned. On the
> other hand, do you really equate his unkind remark to his father in the
> same light as his assertion that you were not capable? To my mind, they
> are two different kettles of fish. The one was based upon ignorance
> (yes, your son may tell others about your capabilities and may know
> about some of your alternative techniques but there is obviously some
> doubt way down inside as to whether you can tackle an unfamiliar task).
> the other was based upon either a contrary streak (all of us had them as
> kids) or, just perhaps, a lack of understanding why remarking upon
> someone's girth might not be taken with the greatest of grace by the
> someone with the girth. (grin)
>
> Moreover, was the threat of punishment the right answer? Would it not
> have been better to ask Jacob why he thought you couldn't handle the
> box? He probably would have been quite puzzled and, unable to come up
> with a rational answer, would either come out with something which
> sounded lame to even him or would have been brought up short and said "I
> don't know" and perhaps been made to think that perhaps society's
> prejudices might not be the standard by which one ought to judge truth.
>
> Just one person's opinion.
>
> In the end, just realize that this, too, shall pass.
>
> Mike
>
> ----- Original Message -----
> From: Kasondra Payne
> To: 'NFBnet Blind Parents Mailing List'
> Cc: blindtlk at nfbnet.org ; 'NFBnet Blind Kid Mailing List,(for parents
> of blind children)'
> Sent: Sunday, September 02, 2007 8:08 PM
> Subject: [Blindtlk] blindness and the crayon box
>
>
> The story I about to tell is totally true. I am not changing names
> because
> there is no need to protect the guilty. There are witnesses to
> thisevent
> including another blind friend that I was talking to on the phone.
>
>
>
> Yesterday my family returned from an shopping excursion, and we were
> examining all our purchases while I talked on the phone. We had
> purchased a
> new plastic box for all our crayons. We wanted to separate the
> crayons from
> the markers. My oldest son, Jacob, was having a hard time closing the
> new
> box. He asked his father to help him shut it, but my husband, Shawn
> was
> busy with another new purchase. I volunteered to help Jacob. What
> happened
> next was completely unexpected and unwelcome.
>
>
>
> Jacob shouted, “Mommy, you can’t do that because you’re blind!”
>
>
>
> The room fell silent for a moment. Then my friend asked me to verify
> what
> Jacob had said. At the same time, Shawn jumped into action. He took
> Jacob,
> and firmly told him that blind people can do anything, and if he ever
> said
> anything like that again, he wouldn’t be able to sit down for at least
> a
> week.
>
>
>
> Jacob did apologize to me, but I think this is the first time my son
> has
> ever verbally tried to use my blindness against me. I guess I knew it
> would
> happen sometime, but I never thought about it. Jacob has always known
> blind
> people, and he has never shown resistance to any of them. Jacob knows
> that
> his mom, brother, and sister are blind. He tries to explain it to
> other
> people. He knows about Braille, canes, and computers that talk. This
> is
> just a hard situation for me to digest.
>
>
>
> By the way, I did show all the kids how to close the latch on the new
> crayon
> box. And just in case you think that Jacob restricts his barbs to
> topics
> related to blindness, later in the day he asked Shawn why he was fat?
> That
> is another discussion for another day.
>
>
>
> Kasondra Payne
>
>
> No virus found in this outgoing message.
> Checked by AVG Free Edition.
> Version: 7.5.484 / Virus Database: 269.13.2/984 - Release Date:
> 9/2/2007
> 12:59 PM
>
>
>
>
> ------------------------------------------------------------------------------
>
>
> _______________________________________________
> blindtlk mailing list
> blindtlk at nfbnet.org
> http://www.nfbnet.org/mailman/listinfo/blindtlk
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