[Blindtlk] Fw: [blind-family] More research new

[Cindy Handel]

Jen,

I really don't have an answer to your situation.  I feel very sad for you 
and wish there was something I could do to help.  The only thing I do know, 
for sure, is that, as long as you find reasons why you can't learn to get 
around; as long as you spend time feeling badly for yourself and convince 
yourself that no one can help you; as long as you don't trust anyone and put 
up walls of reasons,...all saying "I can't", you're not going to progress 
farther than you are now.

I know it isn't easy.  You're depressed, and depression is a real thing. 
I'm not a psychologist or psychiatrist, so I can't tell you how to get 
yourself out of your depression.  But, I do know, from life experience, if 
you don't take the first step to try to change your own attitude to one 
which says "I can", you will always be where you are.  For that, I'm sorry 
and I do hope that you'll try to reach out and allow someone to help you.

You say you go to NFB chapter meetings.  Is there someone there who could 
help to find someone to teach you the skills you need to get yourself out of 
your room?  You also mentioned church.  It's not fun to feel like you're a 
burden on someone.  But, you also said you think the people at your church 
would be willing to help you get there.  Maybe you should ask for the help 
to get to church.  Maybe, once you get there, you'll find a group or 
activity which interests you and you'll be able to start to make friends and 
get yourself involved in something, outside your home.

I know it's often hard to know what to do to help yourself.  But, this is 
where other people...NFB members, members of your church, can help to get 
you out there and find the assistance you need.  You just need to ask.

Cindy

The more time you spend at home, just thinking about yourself and your 
situation, the harder it will be to pull yourself out of the place you are 
right now.


----- Original Message ----- 
From: <jaber37837 at cox.net>
To: "NFBnet Blind Talk Mailing List" <blindtlk at nfbnet.org>
Sent: Monday, March 05, 2007 4:16 PM
Subject: Re: [Blindtlk] Fw: [blind-family] More research new


Thanks Cindy, but I've had someone help me with the cane. Her suggestion was
that I get a chair with a one-armed geer on it. I did that, but it doesn't
help-I almost broke my hand trying to use it. I live in Rhode Island where
the services are really crummy. I've tried using the cane, but there's
always the anxiety of going the wrong way, which happens more often then
not; also For reasons I won't get into here, I don't trust anyone I don't
know, so asking someone for help is not something I will do unless I know
the person. I can't get an electric chair because it's too heavy to put in
the car if I go somewhere in the car with someone (it's hard enough to get
someone to take me out somewhere with the regular chair), and it's too
expensive to be taking the bus all the time.

I know, all this sounds like fixable excuses...it's just all too much.

I don't expect anyone to understand...nobody does.

I go to church every week, but I've got to ask someone from church to pick
me up because there's no bus service on Sundays where I live and even if
there were, the bus doesn't go to that area. I just feel like a total burden
to everybody there, even though I know most of them would be more than
willing to pick me up to go to a dance or dinner or something.

Anyway...

Jen
----- Original Message ----- 
From: "Cindy Handel" <cindy425 at verizon.net>
To: "NFBnet Blind Talk Mailing List" <blindtlk at nfbnet.org>
Sent: Monday, March 05, 2007 3:48 PM
Subject: Re: [Blindtlk] Fw: [blind-family] More research new


> Jen,
>
> Have you ever considered that you might need some help in learning to use
> a
> cane or dog with your wheelchair?  If you had that instruction, maybe you
> wouldn't feel so anxious and it would enable you to get out of your house
> more often.What state do you live in?  Maybe someone on the list knows of
> an
> instructor who could help you with this.
>
> Cindy
> ----- Original Message ----- 
> From: <jaber37837 at cox.net>
> To: "NFBnet Blind Talk Mailing List" <blindtlk at nfbnet.org>
> Sent: Monday, March 05, 2007 3:31 PM
> Subject: Re: [Blindtlk] Fw: [blind-family] More research new
>
>
> Well, I can't go anywhere because I can't see where I'm going. I'm in a
> wheelchair as well, so it's very difficult for me to use the cane to get
> where I've got to go. Plus, it gives me all kinds of anxiety. I spend my
> whole day in the house, in my room because I can't navigate anywhere
> without
> having anxiety attacks. Once in a while I go out, but I've got to have
> someone with me, and that's almost always impossible because I don't have
> anyone to go with me. When I take the bus to the NFB meetings, the driver
> has to push me in the building and into the room where the meeting is held
> because I'm just too anxious. So no, I don't have to have sight good
> enough
> to drive a car, but I need enough sight to drive my chair, and not get
> injured in the process.
>
> As far as getting married goes, well it's true that there are plenty of
> blind people who are married, but I have the other disability to deal with
> too. I'm not saying there isn't anyone in the world that wouldn't be
> willing
> to marry me, but the odds are not in my favor. Who wants to deal with
> someone who can't walk and can't see and can't seem to function like a
> normal human being no matter how hard she tries? So far, nobody.
>
> I had 2100/20  vision in one eye before I went blind. I enjoyed seeing the
> sun everyday, I felt lucky to be able to see everything. Now I can't see
> anything, and at least for me, it's put all these obstacles in my way and
> I'm just too anxious and overwhelmed to deal with it. Sorry if I sound
> like
> I'm whining, but that's just the way it is for me, and nothing will change
> it until I can see something again.
>
> Before anyone says I need professional help, I see a counselor, and it's
> not
> helping.
>
> Jen
> Message ----- 
> From: "Cindy Handel" <cindy425 at verizon.net>
> To: "NFBnet Blind Talk Mailing List" <blindtlk at nfbnet.org>
> Sent: Monday, March 05, 2007 2:54 PM
> Subject: Re: [Blindtlk] Fw: [blind-family] More research new
>
>
>> Jen,
>>
>> I have to admit that I don't quite understand your desire to see where
>> you're going.  If you don't want to be able to see well enough to drive a
>> car or read a standard print book, what are you really gaining?
>> Additionally, you say that you can't live without being able to see where
>> you're going?  Excuse me if this sounds rude, but what are you doing now?
>>
>> I'm sorry that you haven't found the right person to marry, since that's
>> a
>> desire.  But, I don't believe this has anything to do with your lack of
>> sight.  There are plenty of blind people who are married, both to other
>> blind people and to sighted people.  So, even if you should gain some
>> vision, sometime in the future, it's not a guarantee that you'll suddenly
>> find the love of your life.
>>
>> I'm interested in your thoughts on my questions.
>>
>> Cindy
>> ----- Original Message ----- 
>> From: <jaber37837 at cox.net>
>> To: "NFBnet Blind Talk Mailing List" <blindtlk at nfbnet.org>
>> Sent: Monday, March 05, 2007 2:39 PM
>> Subject: Re: [Blindtlk] Fw: [blind-family] More research new
>>
>>
>> I can understand your point, but my situation is a bit different.
>>
>> I wouldn't have anything done unless there was a high success rate, and
>> then
>> I wouldn't have to pay for it because I have Medicade. That might not be
>> an
>> option someday, but personally for me, having to file for bankruptcy is
>> well
>> worth getting some sight back. I don't want perfect vision, I just want
>> to
>> be able to see where I'm going. I can live with not being able to read a
>> standard print book or even not being able to drive a car, but I cannot
>> live
>> with not being able to see what's in front of me. It's different for me;
>> I
>> don't have children, I don't have a job, and I'm not married (being blind
>> has a lot to do with that), so I've got nothing to lose. I too have been
>> hearing about all the progress being made in the retinal implant etc, and
>> I'm getting sick of hearing my doctor talk about it; I'm always saying,
>> "So
>> when is it going to happen?" and I keep getting the same answer, "It's
>> not
>> talked about, it's privately funded" etc, I've heard it will be available
>> in
>> five years yadayadoyada, but I just have to keep hoping every time I go
>> to
>> the doctors that he might just say, "it's time." I won't hear that for a
>> while, but I'm always hoping.
>>
>> Jen
>> ----- Original Message ----- 
>> From: "Steve Jacobson" <steve.jacobson at visi.com>
>> To: "NFBnet Blind Talk Mailing List" <blindtlk at nfbnet.org>
>> Sent: Monday, March 05, 2007 2:16 PM
>> Subject: Re: [Blindtlk] Fw: [blind-family] More research new
>>
>>
>>> Kathy and others,
>>>
>>> Please humor me just a bit.  Let's take a practical look at this.  If
>>> there were no risks and no costs, and there were no complications, I
>>> would
>>> consider such a
>>> procedure even though I have always been blind.  However, that's not
>>> what
>>> the choice will likely be.  I would not, for instance, strap myself
>>> financially for the rest of
>>> my life for the kind of vision that might allow me to read headlines or
>>> see some movement.  If I can't pay for it and since I have already been
>>> working and paying my
>>> own way for thirty years, is there a benefit to society to pay to have
>>> my
>>> vision restored?  What happens to my kids if something goes wrong and I
>>> am
>>> no longer able
>>> to work after the surgery, infection or other complications for example.
>>> There may be honest differences of opinions as to what vision
>>> restoration
>>> is worth, but some
>>> of the difference is whether one is truly looking at the impact.  Would
>>> one pay a million dollars to get their vision back?  Probably, until one
>>> starts thinking about the
>>> payments one would have to make for the rest of their lives and the
>>> impact
>>> it might have on one's family.  In most cases, getting one's vision back
>>> won't increase
>>> one's earning power enough to make the payments.
>>>
>>> I think that researchers often don't put a price on this type of thing
>>> and
>>> can't understand it when a lot of us don't just jump up and down with
>>> joy
>>> at the prospect of
>>> getting ones vision back, but when you start thinking about it and you
>>> start to read about the limitations that might exist, then one begins to
>>> think about the pros and
>>> cons.
>>>
>>> Another caveat to this whole thing that needs to be kept in mind is that
>>> some of us have been hearing about miraculous procedures for thirty
>>> years,
>>> and we start to
>>> get to the point where seeing is believing, if you will forgive the play
>>> on words.  Don't be too hard on those of us who might be both a little
>>> skeptical and also realistic.
>>> Also don't misunderstand me, there is progress being made and some sort
>>> of
>>> artificial vision is probably closer now than it was thirty years ago,
>>> but
>>> the idea of driving
>>> down a freeway at 60 miles per hour totally depending upon an electronic
>>> circuit that might be overloaded by something like a radar beam from a
>>> police car scares
>>> me.  I just don't think we'll see it happen real soon.
>>>
>>> Discussing what it might be worth to get vision and the complications
>>> associated with it is interesting.  I would be curious to reactions to
>>> the
>>> above.
>>>
>>> On Mon, 05 Mar 2007 12:46:05 -0500, Kathy Davis wrote:
>>>
>>>>The point is that if medical advances are such that blind people can see
>>>>again, each person has the option to go for it or not. Personally, I
>>>>would
>>>>go for it in an
>>> instant...How great it would be just to pop my key in to the ignition
>>> and
>>> just drive where ever I want whenever I want to do so. It would be great
>>> to see the faces of
>>> my grandchildren. Like most of you, I totally accept my blindness and am
>>> not one bit ashamed of it. It is a royal pain in the behind at times
>>> though. If you had a spinal
>>> cord injury and could take advantage of scientific advances that would
>>> allow you to walk again, would you just say..."I am perfectly happy not
>>> walking or standing
>>> so I want to stay this way?" I don't think so! If your blind child could
>>> undergo a procedure that would allow your little one to see, would you
>>> say..."no, it is respectable
>>> to be blind so I want my child to stay that way?"
>>>
>>>>Just some food for thought.
>>>
>>>>Kathy
>>>
>>>
>>>>>>> "Laurie Porter" <freespirit1 at tds.net> Thursday, March 01, 2007 10:28
>>>>>>> PM >>>
>>>>I'm sure you'll agree that there will be lots of medical advances using
>>>>implants and other technologies. I find it an arrogant assumption on
>>>>Ray's
>>>>part to assume that the only reason people would take advantage of  the
>>>>opportunity to restore vision is because they aren't comfortable with
>>>>their
>>>>blindness. There is nothing wrong with desiring to see again. I lost my
>>>>remaining sight somewhat recently, and I do imagine what it is like to
>>>>see
>>>>agaiNI was blindd before and my attitude toward blindness has been and
>>>>is
>>>>positive. In fact, it made me more prepared. I realized that I had
>>>>proved
>>>>to
>>>>myself that my complete loss of sight is not a tragedy, but merely
>>>>inconvenient at times. I had quite a bit of usable vision, but I've
>>>>always
>>>>considered myself blind. I used alternative techniques even when I could
>>>>see. I read braille and always used my skills together with my vision.
>>>>I've
>>>>never been ashamed of blindness, and I have never been ashamed of my
>>>>sight.
>>>
>>>>Now, for me, a rhetnal implant sounds pretty grizzly indeed and I
>>>>wouldn't
>>>>consider it until it's been around for at least a decade or so. I
>>>>wouldn't
>>>>subject myself to invasive procedures that can be too risky. As for the
>>>>sighted public being uncomfortable being blind, I still assert that you
>>>>can
>>>>learn to be comfortable with your blindness and still  have the desire
>>>>to
>>>>see again.
>>>>----- Original Message -----
>>>>From: "Bonnie M Ainsworth" <cedarwoman1965 at neb.rr.com>
>>>>To: "NFBnet Blind Talk Mailing List" <blindtlk at nfbnet.org>
>>>>Sent: Thursday, March 01, 2007 2:03 PM
>>>>Subject: Re: [Blindtlk] Fw: [blind-family] More research new
>>>
>>>
>>>>> Actually, I can understand why Ray said what he did.  What about the
>>>>people
>>>>> who have never seen in their lives?  I don't know how I would deal
>>>>> with
>>>>the
>>>>> idea of being thrown into a world in which I'd have to adjust to a
>>>>> whole
>>>>new
>>>>> lifestyle.  I do have partial vision, but the thought of seeing fully
>>>>scares
>>>>> me.  In all honesty, I feel more comfortable with the possibility of
>>>>losing
>>>>> my sight totally than seeing fully.  I hope this makes sense.  *SMILE*
>>>>>
>>>>> Bonnie Ainsworth
>>>>> Lincoln, NE USA
>>>>>
>>>>>
>>>>> ----- Original Message -----
>>>>> From: "Paul" <n7pzr at icehouse.net>
>>>>> To: "NFBnet Blind Talk Mailing List" <blindtlk at nfbnet.org>
>>>>> Sent: Monday, February 19, 2007 8:48 PM
>>>>> Subject: Re: [Blindtlk] Fw: [blind-family] More research new
>>>>>
>>>>>
>>>>> Pardon me while I retch. What a stupid idea.
>>>>> Paul Whipple n7pzr
>>>>> Vice President Inland Empire Chapter
>>>>> of the National Federation of the Blind
>>>>> of Wa.
>>>>> phone 509/362/3148
>>>>> ----- Original Message -----
>>>>> From: "Ray Foret Jr." <rforetjr at bellsouth.net>
>>>>> To: "NFBnet Blind Talk Mailing List" <blindtlk at nfbnet.org>
>>>>> Sent: Saturday, February 17, 2007 9:01 PM
>>>>> Subject: Re: [Blindtlk] Fw: [blind-family] More research new
>>>>>
>>>>>
>>>>> No way!!!  I don't want nor will have anything to do with such as
>>>>electronic
>>>>> eyes and things of that sort.  To my way of thinking, these
>>>>>
>>>>> _______________________________________________
>>>>> blindtlk mailing list
>>>>> blindtlk at nfbnet.org
>>>>> http://www.nfbnet.org/mailman/listinfo/blindtlk
>>>
>>>
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>>>
>>>
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