[Blindtlk] question

[Constance Canode]

Hi,

I usually don't respond to these questions, but I had an interesting 
thought about this one.  Put yourself in your wife's place for a 
minute.  Maybe she feels like the third wheel.  How would you feel if 
your wife always brought one of her co-workers or friends every place 
you went, and the two of them started talking shop or just girl 
talk?  Wouldn't you feel a bit put out?  I know I would.  Your wife 
should be much more to you than just wheels.  I hope with all of my 
heart that you are not totally dependent on her for transportation 
and are able to travel independently as well.  Please don't be 
offended.  I really am saying this with the best intentions.  I have 
seen too many marriages between sighted and blind people where the 
blind person totally loses their independence and their back bone 
because they love that car too much.  Admittedly, it is easier to get 
around in that way, but independence and self respect are also just 
as important to make a marriage work.

Connie
At 01:43 PM 6/2/2007, you wrote:
>Here's yet another observation.  Your wife might not care for you telling
>all of us this at all.  Hope she doesn't find out.  I agree with Robert and
>he's got some good points to make too.
>
>Sincerely yours,
>The Constantly Barefooted,
>Ray
>Home phone and fax:
>(985)853-0139
>I-mail:
>rforetjr at bellsouth.net
>Skype Name:
>barefootedray
>Blog:
>www.raysworld.blogs.com
>Podcast .rss Feed:
>http://feeds.feedburner.com/worldofray
>
>God bless President George W. Bush!
>God bless our troops!
>and God bless America
>----- Original Message -----
>From: "Robert Kelly Jr." <rkellyjr at knology.net>
>To: "NFBnet Blind Talk Mailing List" <blindtlk at nfbnet.org>
>Sent: Saturday, June 02, 2007 10:43 AM
>Subject: Re: [Blindtlk] question
>
>
>Corey,
>I have some friends that are married and they are blind. The wife works and
>the third party friend is always around them and the wife is having to cook
>and feed the friend as well as her husband and family. The friend goes
>everywhere with them and she too is tired of having to do for the "friend"
>who by the way is never offering to pay for anything or to return the favor.
>It does not matter if the spouse is blind or sighted...any person would be
>tired of a "third person" after a while. It can cause a divorce. Marriage is
>a give and take and it seem that your wife is doing the giving by going
>along with you and your friend in allowing him to go everywhere with you and
>her according to what you said about taking him to Wal-Mart and when you and
>your wife go out to other places. There is such a thing as alone time with
>your wife and family if you all have children.Reverse the role and what if
>you were sighted and your blind wife wanted to take her blind friend
>"everywhere" you and she went would you like that? What if you wanted to
>just be alone with your wife at the movies and afterwards but her friend was
>with you all. Posting your question on this listserv will give people the
>impression that your wife does not want to help blind people. You have made
>it look that way but I think she is just tired of having a "third person" in
>her marriage.Occasionally taking him with you and your wife is fine but not
>on regular basis. Your friend needs to get a girlfriend and a life of his
>own.
>
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