[Blindtlk] cane

Tue Sep 26 11:32:18 CDT 2006

Dear Ray,

I love your message...how well you write and how descriptive you are in
making your points.  I just wanted to make a point that as blind people
we shouldn't automatically assume that terms of endearment are
degrading.  Responding back in a hostile manner to words like Honey,
Darlin, sweetheart  and the like need to be considered in the context
and situation they are said.  If a student comes to my college, most
will hear such terms...it's just the way they are used and the
intonation in the voice.  I too hate the syrupy, condescending manner
people can respond to me as a blind woman on occasion.  

Thank you for your words of wisdom.  

Kathy

>>> "Ray Foret Jr." <rforetjr at bellsouth.net> Tuesday, September 26,
2006 10:10 AM >>>
Wait Kathy,  I suspect maybe there's a little bit of a misunderstanding

going on here as to terms and how they're used.  I don't know where
Diane's 
from; but, I suspect maybe I should jump in here before any
misunderstanding 
occurs and explain a couple of things.

1.  Kathy is right.  It tends to be a Southern thing to address people
via 
the use of terms such as "Honey", or "Sugar", or "Sweetie" ETC.  Kathy
is 
right when she indicates this is a common thing.

2.  People who are not from the South may not be as familiar with this
sort 
of address as we who are from the South are; and, therefore, they may 
perhaps take offense at the use of such terms.  This, I would point
out, is 
no reason to abandon the Southern custom.

3.  I suspect that Diane is not, however, talking about using terms
such as 
"honey", or "sweetie" ETC in the way we used them in the South; rather,

she's talking about the syrupy baby talk type of thing which we blind
people 
often get from stupid sighted doofuses who should know better.  I think
this 
is equally irritating to all of the blind alike; Southern as well as
Yanky 
blind and everybody else in between who is blind.

4.  Taken all of the above, it's understandable how a yanky might
confuse a 
Southern custom with that kind of baby blind talk.

5.  To help clear up the confusion, I'd like to offer this method of 
detection.  If a person uses a syrupy tone of voice when talking to a
blind 
person, but not a sighted person, you may be certain that it's the kind
of 
thing Diane and all of us take offense at.  If however, the same tone
of 
voice is used on blind and sighted alike, it's not meant for just the
blind. 
You see, down here in these parts, more stock is put in to the way a
thing 
is said rather than the actual words used.

HTH.

Sincerely yours,
The Constantly Barefooted,
Ray
Home phone and fax:
(985)853-0139
E-mail:
rforetjr at bellsouth.net 
Skype Name:
barefootedray
Blog:
www.raysworld.blogs.com 
Podcast .rss Feed:
http://feeds.feedburner.com/worldofray 

God bless President George W. Bush!
God bless our troops!
and God bless America
----- Original Message ----- 
From: "Kathy Davis" <DAVISK at dbcc.edu>
To: "NFBnet Blind Talk Mailing List" <blindtlk at nfbnet.org>
Sent: Tuesday, September 26, 2006 8:38 AM
Subject: Re: [Blindtlk] cane

I just want to say that I often use terms like Sweetie, Honey and the
like with lots of folks.  These are not condescending terms but
instead
are simply in keeping with my personality.  I am a college counselor
and
my students seem to appreciate my warmth and caring.  Perhaps this is
a
southern thing but my friends use these terms of endearment as well.

Kathy Davis

>>> "Graves, Diane" <dgraves at crc.IN.gov> Tuesday, September 26, 2006
9:09 AM >>>
Hi,

Very often when my tolerance level for this baby talk thing has been
maxed out, I will respond in kind, giving them a dose of their own
medicine.  For instance, if someone says to me "here you go Sweetie,"
I
will come back, (just as cordially) with "thank you Sweetie," or
"honey"
or Baby."  What ever strikes my fancy at the time.  It usually catches
them off guard.

Diane Graves
Civil Rights Specialist
Indiana Civil Rights Commission
Alternative Dispute Resolutions Unit
317-232-2647

"Attitude is a little thing that makes a big difference."--Winston
Churchill

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-----Original Message-----
From: blindtlk-bounces at nfbnet.org [mailto:blindtlk-bounces at nfbnet.org]

On Behalf Of Gloria Whipple
Sent: Monday, September 25, 2006 1:42 PM
To: 'NFBnet Blind Talk Mailing List'
Subject: Re: [Blindtlk] cane

Yuck!

I also hate it when people try to talk baby talk to me. I hate it!

Gloria Whipple
Corresponding Secretary
nfb of WA
Inland Empire Chapter

-----Original Message-----
From: blindtlk-bounces at nfbnet.org [mailto:blindtlk-bounces at nfbnet.org]

On Behalf Of Graves, Diane
Sent: Monday, September 25, 2006 7:50 AM
To: NFBnet Blind Talk Mailing List
Subject: Re: [Blindtlk] cane

Exactly.  I usually try to be quick enough to answer their question
before the other person does.  This often succeeds in sending the
message. I think most of us can relate.

One thing that really grates on my nerves is the ones that want to
"Honey Baby Sweetie" you, like they are talking to a 3 years old.  Now
where are some people who just do this to everyone they know.  I have
no
problem with those people.  The ones I would like to SLAP, are the
ones
that obviously are drowning you in syrupy baby talk and pet names
simply
because you are blind.

But, you know what?  That is truly They're ignorance and they're
problem, and we can't allow it to define or degrade us.  If we respond
maturely and with dignity, it simply reveals this behavior for the
foolishness that it is.

Diane Graves
Civil Rights Specialist
Indiana Civil Rights Commission
Alternative Dispute Resolutions Unit
317-232-2647

"Attitude is a little thing that makes a big difference."--Winston
Churchill

Confidentiality Notice: This E-mail transmission may contain
confidential and/or legally privileged information intended only for
the
individual or
entity(ies) named in the E-mail address. If you are not the intended
recipient, be advised that any unauthorized disclosure, copying,
distribution, or acting in reliance upon the contents of this E-mail
is
strictly prohibited. If you have received this E-mail transmission in
error, please reply to sender to arrange for the return and proper
delivery of the transmission. Subsequently, delete the message from
your
system immediately.

-----Original Message-----
From: blindtlk-bounces at nfbnet.org [mailto:blindtlk-bounces at nfbnet.org]

On Behalf Of Cindy Handel
Sent: Monday, September 25, 2006 10:35 AM
To: NFBnet Blind Talk Mailing List
Subject: Re: [Blindtlk] cane

Lindsay,

This still happens to all of us.  The best thing you can do is speak
up
and let them know you hear them.  Answer their question, or tell them
to
talk to you, rather than the other person.  Don't just sit by
passively
and allow them to do that.

Cindy
----- Original Message -----
From: "lindsay" <lindsay777 at charter.net>
To: <blindtlk at nfbnet.org>
Sent: Monday, September 25, 2006 8:20 AM
Subject: [Blindtlk] cane

And what is really annoying is when people don't think you can tell
when
they are talking about you right in front of you.  That really makes
me
made.  I also don't like it when someone asks someone else something
about something you might need instead of you because they don't think
you can understand them.
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