[Blindtlk] traveling

Thu Sep 21 21:39:14 CDT 2006

Hi Laurie,

Well, things were a little different for me when I was nineteen. I had 
enough sight to get around without a cane in one eye. Unfortunately for me, 
one bad thing happened and I was summoned back home...I didn't have choice, 
but I guess I explained that already. I didn't have any support at that 
time, I did it all on my own.

Jen
----- Original Message ----- 
From: "Laurie Porter" <freespirit1 at tds.net>
To: "NFBnet Blind Talk Mailing List" <blindtlk at nfbnet.org>
Sent: Thursday, September 21, 2006 9:44 PM
Subject: Re: [Blindtlk] traveling

> Hi Jen:
>
>
> First of all, perhaps you could give a little bit more information 
> regarding
> the time when you were 19 and attempted to move out on your own.
> Specifically, what kind of support did you have? Did you ever get hooked 
> up
> with  a training center? What was your experience like? I imagine that by
> now your situation has gone beyond just ruffling the feathers of your
> controling parents. If you want to live your life independently which also
> includes going on trips by yourself, than you need some support so that 
> your
> parents wouldn't have the power or the ability to have you declared
> incompetent. Even though I do not know you, the fact that you are writing
> these messages to us compettently indicates to me that you are more than
> capable of acquiring the skills to be a good traveler, and that you can 
> run
> your life. If you have had some travel training, than it's probably a 
> little
> rusty given that it doesn't sound like you get to use it very often.
>
> As for your family, sometimes you have to do things that others  don't 
> like
> or except. I'm sure you were told this a time or two when you were young 
> and
> you didn't like having to go to bed at a certain time, or that you 
> couldn't
> go somewhere you wanted or buy something you really really wanted. It's 
> all
> a part of the growing up process. What is also a part of the growing up
> process is that you have to do the things you do to do for yourself even 
> if
> your parents cannot grow up and accept you and your changes. In a perfect
> world, I'm sure you would feel better if you got their approval, but this
> isn't a perfect world, and you'll grow old and gray waiting for it to come
> around. Your parents probably have given you tough love as a child and now
> it is time for you to do the same. They will have to in time adjust. They
> can choose  to make that process hard or easy for themselves. It's really 
> up
> to them. If you really want this for yourself, than you'll have to, out of
> love, allow your parents to find a way to work it out on their own, and
> you'd be better served by being in a position where they don't have a 
> choice
> about what you do. It's not an easy process, but you can still love and
> respect your parents with the understanding that it isn't going to be easy
> for them, but sometimes they have to do things that are hard, and letting 
> go
> can be one of the hardest things to do, but it's all part of the process.
> Let's just hope it doesn't take another 27 years for you to take these
> important steps. Good luck on your journey.
> Peace,
> Laurie
>
>
> ----- Original Message -----
> From: <jaber37837 at cox.net>
> To: "NFBnet Blind Talk Mailing List" <blindtlk at nfbnet.org>
> Sent: Monday, September 18, 2006 1:44 PM
> Subject: Re: [Blindtlk] traveling
>
>
>> Well, like I said, I'm 27. My mobility is not too great; I get lost and
>> disoriented quite easily. Syracuse isn't exactly where I want to go, more
>> like Binghamton, NY.
>>
>> As far as the apartment goes, I am a client of the Division of
> Developmental
>> Disabilities, and they are suppose to be helping me get an affordable
>> apartment (even with my SSI check, it is impossible for me to live in a
>> section 8 apartment), but according to them, there are other clients who
>> have more dire circumstances, so I have to wait. I did move out once
> before,
>> but I was summoned back home. My mother threatened to have me claimed
>> incompetant if I didn't come home. (I was nineteen then).
>>
>> Jen
>> ----- Original Message -----
>> From: "Graves, Diane" <dgraves at crc.IN.gov>
>> To: "NFBnet Blind Talk Mailing List" <blindtlk at nfbnet.org>
>> Sent: Monday, September 18, 2006 2:30 PM
>> Subject: Re: [Blindtlk] traveling
>>
>>
>> > HI Jen,
>> >
>> > Well, let's start at the beginning of this question/issue, and see if 
>> > we
>> > can't  help you out.
>> >
>> > First and foremost, how old are you?  That makes a big difference in 
>> > the
>> > advice this I would give.  If you are still a minor, then I can't in
>> > good conscience advise you to radically go against and/or disobey your
>> > parents and "sneak" out of the house and effectively run away. 
>> > However,
>> > if you are of age, then your parents need to realize that, and they
>> > can't have any more control over you than what you are willing to give
>> > them.
>> >
>> > I'm sure you love your parents and don't' want to hurt their feelings,
>> > but if you are an adult, then they need to understand that your
>> > decisions about where to go and what to do are yours.  I'm sure they
>> > have your best interest at heart, but if they don't' have a lot of
>> > experience with other competent blind adults, they may not be in the
>> > best position to know just what that is.
>> >
>> > Now, having said that, do you have some idea of some things you might
>> > like to see and do in Syracuse New York?  Maybe if you do, some folks
>> > that live around that area can let you know about travel in the area 
>> > and
>> > how accessible some tourist attractions are. Then you could map out a
>> > itinerary using this information, and plan ahead of time where you will
>> > go and how you will get there.
>> >
>> > As far as traveling with a friend, whether sighted or blind, this isn't
>> > always a bad thing, although blindness, in and of itself, should not be
>> > the reason.  If you have a friend who might be fun to travel with, that
>> > would be fine.  As they say there is safety in numbers, and whether
>> > blind or sighted, this is sometimes something that should be 
>> > considered.
>> >
>> >
>> > If there is not a friend who especially fits this bill however, 
>> > assuming
>> > you have the mobility and other alternative skills you need to travel
>> > independently, don't let the lack of a traveling companion stop you 
>> > from
>> > being adventurous.  Just exercise all common sense precautions, go and
>> > have a great time.
>> >
>> > I hope this makes a bit of sense so far.  With a little more 
>> > information
>> > bout your situation, we can handle the specifics a little better.
>> > But first and foremost we need to know whether we are talking with a
>> > minor or an adult, because that will make a big difference in your
>> > approach.
>> >
>> >
>> >
>> >
>> > Diane Graves
>> > Civil Rights Specialist
>> > Indiana Civil Rights Commission
>> > Alternative Dispute Resolutions Unit
>> > 317-232-2647
>> >
>> >
>> >
>> > "Attitude is a little thing that makes a big difference."--Winston
>> > Churchill
>> >
>> >
>> >
>> >
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>> >
>> >
>> > -----Original Message-----
>> > From: blindtlk-bounces at nfbnet.org [mailto:blindtlk-bounces at nfbnet.org]
>> > On Behalf Of jaber37837 at cox.net
>> > Sent: Monday, September 18, 2006 1:53 PM
>> > To: blindtlk at nfbnet.org; community at nfbri.com
>> > Subject: [Blindtlk] traveling
>> >
>> >
>> > Hi
>> >
>> > I have a question or perhaps many questions...maybe even issues.
>> >
>> > Here's the situation:
>> >
>> > I would like to take a trip to New York; around the Syracuse area. I
>> > could
>> > sneak out of the house, take the Ride bus to the airport and fly there,
>> > but
>> > then I would get my parents all upset, and they would never trust me
>> > again.
>> > Plus, once I got there I could take a cab to the hotel, but then what?
>> > The
>> > only way I can go anywhere is if I go with a friend...I mean that's the
>> > only
>> > way I could go without causing an up-roar, but I don't have any friends
>> > who
>> > I can travel with, and even if I did, that's a really lousy reason to
>> > invite
>> > them to come along.
>> >
>> > Is there any way I can get out of my parents' control over me? Is there
>> > any
>> > way to do it legally without causing hurt feelings etc? I can't talk to
>> > them. They don't want to hear it. I've tried.
>> >
>> > I just feel like I have to do something different, and I can't do
>> > anything;
>> > not as long as I'm here.
>> >
>> > Jen
>> >
>> >
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