[Blindtlk] traveling

Thu Sep 21 20:44:04 CDT 2006

Hi Jen:

First of all, perhaps you could give a little bit more information regarding
the time when you were 19 and attempted to move out on your own.
Specifically, what kind of support did you have? Did you ever get hooked up
with  a training center? What was your experience like? I imagine that by
now your situation has gone beyond just ruffling the feathers of your
controling parents. If you want to live your life independently which also
includes going on trips by yourself, than you need some support so that your
parents wouldn't have the power or the ability to have you declared
incompetent. Even though I do not know you, the fact that you are writing
these messages to us compettently indicates to me that you are more than
capable of acquiring the skills to be a good traveler, and that you can run
your life. If you have had some travel training, than it's probably a little
rusty given that it doesn't sound like you get to use it very often.

As for your family, sometimes you have to do things that others  don't like
or except. I'm sure you were told this a time or two when you were young and
you didn't like having to go to bed at a certain time, or that you couldn't
go somewhere you wanted or buy something you really really wanted. It's all
a part of the growing up process. What is also a part of the growing up
process is that you have to do the things you do to do for yourself even if
your parents cannot grow up and accept you and your changes. In a perfect
world, I'm sure you would feel better if you got their approval, but this
isn't a perfect world, and you'll grow old and gray waiting for it to come
around. Your parents probably have given you tough love as a child and now
it is time for you to do the same. They will have to in time adjust. They
can choose  to make that process hard or easy for themselves. It's really up
to them. If you really want this for yourself, than you'll have to, out of
love, allow your parents to find a way to work it out on their own, and
you'd be better served by being in a position where they don't have a choice
about what you do. It's not an easy process, but you can still love and
respect your parents with the understanding that it isn't going to be easy
for them, but sometimes they have to do things that are hard, and letting go
can be one of the hardest things to do, but it's all part of the process.
Let's just hope it doesn't take another 27 years for you to take these
important steps. Good luck on your journey.
Peace,
Laurie

----- Original Message -----
From: <jaber37837 at cox.net>
To: "NFBnet Blind Talk Mailing List" <blindtlk at nfbnet.org>
Sent: Monday, September 18, 2006 1:44 PM
Subject: Re: [Blindtlk] traveling

> Well, like I said, I'm 27. My mobility is not too great; I get lost and
> disoriented quite easily. Syracuse isn't exactly where I want to go, more
> like Binghamton, NY.
>
> As far as the apartment goes, I am a client of the Division of
Developmental
> Disabilities, and they are suppose to be helping me get an affordable
> apartment (even with my SSI check, it is impossible for me to live in a
> section 8 apartment), but according to them, there are other clients who
> have more dire circumstances, so I have to wait. I did move out once
before,
> but I was summoned back home. My mother threatened to have me claimed
> incompetant if I didn't come home. (I was nineteen then).
>
> Jen
> ----- Original Message -----
> From: "Graves, Diane" <dgraves at crc.IN.gov>
> To: "NFBnet Blind Talk Mailing List" <blindtlk at nfbnet.org>
> Sent: Monday, September 18, 2006 2:30 PM
> Subject: Re: [Blindtlk] traveling
>
>
> > HI Jen,
> >
> > Well, let's start at the beginning of this question/issue, and see if we
> > can't  help you out.
> >
> > First and foremost, how old are you?  That makes a big difference in the
> > advice this I would give.  If you are still a minor, then I can't in
> > good conscience advise you to radically go against and/or disobey your
> > parents and "sneak" out of the house and effectively run away.  However,
> > if you are of age, then your parents need to realize that, and they
> > can't have any more control over you than what you are willing to give
> > them.
> >
> > I'm sure you love your parents and don't' want to hurt their feelings,
> > but if you are an adult, then they need to understand that your
> > decisions about where to go and what to do are yours.  I'm sure they
> > have your best interest at heart, but if they don't' have a lot of
> > experience with other competent blind adults, they may not be in the
> > best position to know just what that is.
> >
> > Now, having said that, do you have some idea of some things you might
> > like to see and do in Syracuse New York?  Maybe if you do, some folks
> > that live around that area can let you know about travel in the area and
> > how accessible some tourist attractions are. Then you could map out a
> > itinerary using this information, and plan ahead of time where you will
> > go and how you will get there.
> >
> > As far as traveling with a friend, whether sighted or blind, this isn't
> > always a bad thing, although blindness, in and of itself, should not be
> > the reason.  If you have a friend who might be fun to travel with, that
> > would be fine.  As they say there is safety in numbers, and whether
> > blind or sighted, this is sometimes something that should be considered.
> >
> >
> > If there is not a friend who especially fits this bill however, assuming
> > you have the mobility and other alternative skills you need to travel
> > independently, don't let the lack of a traveling companion stop you from
> > being adventurous.  Just exercise all common sense precautions, go and
> > have a great time.
> >
> > I hope this makes a bit of sense so far.  With a little more information
> > bout your situation, we can handle the specifics a little better.
> > But first and foremost we need to know whether we are talking with a
> > minor or an adult, because that will make a big difference in your
> > approach.
> >
> >
> >
> >
> > Diane Graves
> > Civil Rights Specialist
> > Indiana Civil Rights Commission
> > Alternative Dispute Resolutions Unit
> > 317-232-2647
> >
> >
> >
> > "Attitude is a little thing that makes a big difference."--Winston
> > Churchill
> >
> >
> >
> >
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> >
> >
> > -----Original Message-----
> > From: blindtlk-bounces at nfbnet.org [mailto:blindtlk-bounces at nfbnet.org]
> > On Behalf Of jaber37837 at cox.net
> > Sent: Monday, September 18, 2006 1:53 PM
> > To: blindtlk at nfbnet.org; community at nfbri.com
> > Subject: [Blindtlk] traveling
> >
> >
> > Hi
> >
> > I have a question or perhaps many questions...maybe even issues.
> >
> > Here's the situation:
> >
> > I would like to take a trip to New York; around the Syracuse area. I
> > could
> > sneak out of the house, take the Ride bus to the airport and fly there,
> > but
> > then I would get my parents all upset, and they would never trust me
> > again.
> > Plus, once I got there I could take a cab to the hotel, but then what?
> > The
> > only way I can go anywhere is if I go with a friend...I mean that's the
> > only
> > way I could go without causing an up-roar, but I don't have any friends
> > who
> > I can travel with, and even if I did, that's a really lousy reason to
> > invite
> > them to come along.
> >
> > Is there any way I can get out of my parents' control over me? Is there
> > any
> > way to do it legally without causing hurt feelings etc? I can't talk to
> > them. They don't want to hear it. I've tried.
> >
> > I just feel like I have to do something different, and I can't do
> > anything;
> > not as long as I'm here.
> >
> > Jen
> >
> >
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