[Blindtlk] traveling

Mon Sep 18 16:13:46 CDT 2006

I'd like to say that, upon reflection, I agree with you Mike.   I suppose 
it's better to hope that your solution will work.  Now, for you Jen.  Here's 
some food for thought.  I found that the best way to convince my parents to 
let me be when I got my own place was to do stuff.  Sure, I could have 
argued with them; but, take it from me.  You will never win an argument with 
your parents; and I do mean never.  I could have talked and talked till my 
tongue was dragging on the floor and it would have not done any good.  I 
found this was especially true just after I graduated from the Louisiana 
Center For The Blind.  What I also found was this.  What I did made tons 
more difference than all the words I said.  Do my parents worry about me 
still,?  Why, of course they do; but, do I let that stop me?  No.  Do my 
parents try to stop me?  No.  They know me well enough that they know I'm 
going to do what I'm going to do and that's that; despite what they may feel 
or think about it.  Does that mean I don't love my parents or that they 
don't love me?  Of course not.  I found that, if I wanted to convince my 
parents of anything, I'd better be prepared to prove my case by physically 
doing what I claimed to be able to do; otherwisee, just forget it.  Once my 
parents were convinced I could function on my own, however, they backed me 
up %100 (one hundred percent).  I'm a Foret, after all; and, we Forets tend 
to be hard headed.  So, I'd say go with Mike's suggestion first.  Try to 
reason with them via another friend in the Federation.  If reason fails and 
actions are hard to initiate, I think I can speak for us all when I say 
we'll be here to try what we can to help further.  We're a family, after 
all.

Sincerely yours,
The Constantly Barefooted,
Ray
Home phone and fax:
(985)853-0139
E-mail:
rforetjr at bellsouth.net
Skype Name:
barefootedray
Blog:
www.raysworld.blogs.com
Podcast .rss Feed:
http://feeds.feedburner.com/worldofray

God bless President George W. Bush!
God bless our troops!
and God bless America
----- Original Message ----- 
From: "Mike Freeman" <k7uij at panix.com>
To: "NFBnet Blind Talk Mailing List" <blindtlk at nfbnet.org>
Sent: Monday, September 18, 2006 3:30 PM
Subject: Re: [Blindtlk] traveling

IMO while everything that has been said here is valid, I believe that we
must be a bit cautious. We may not know the whole story here. Rather
than immediately pushing for Jen to go to one of our centers or having a
knock-down-drag-out with her parents, it seems to me far more preferable
to put her in touch with local NFB members in her area who will be in a
better position to judge what needs to be done and who can encourage her
and also show her parents by example that blind folks can be
independent.

For instance, Jen says she is a client of a DD agency. Why? Is she a c
client of the New York Commission for the Blind? If not, why not?

Mike Freeman, President
  NFB of Washington

On Mon, 18 Sep 2006, Alan Wheeler wrote:

> I hate to say it, but Peter has a valid point.  What he describes is a
> frighteningly real possibility.
>
>
> ----- Original Message -----
> From: "Peter Donahue" <pdonahue1 at sbcglobal.net>
> To: "Bonnie Ainsworth" <cedarwoman1965 at neb.rr.com>; "NFBnet Blind Talk
> Mailing List" <blindtlk at nfbnet.org>
> Sent: Monday, September 18, 2006 2:07 PM
> Subject: Re: [Blindtlk] traveling
>
>
>> Hello Jenn, Bonnie and listers,
>>
>>    There's possibly a more sinister reason for her parents wanting to 
>> keep
>> her under their thumb besides her blindness. If Jen's parents receive
>> Social
>> Security benefits for providing her a place to live they know that if she
>> moves out they'll lose that income. All I have to say about that blarney
>> is
>> tough! It's unfair, and is an illegal form of exploitation of the worst
>> kind!When my dad retired I became eligible for SSDI Benefits. In addition
>> mom and dad also received a monthly check when I lived at home.
>> Fortunately
>> mom realized that while the income helped out with expenses it wasn't in
>> her
>> best interest to control my life by keeping  me at home and under her
>> thumb
>> and strongly encouraged me to move out in to a place of my own and gladly
>> excepted the consequences of doing so I.E. the loss of those Dependent's
>> Benefits. By the time I finally moved out for good dad had passed away so
>> he
>> was not able to stop her from doing this. I know other blind individuals
>> who
>> were manipulated and controlled by their parents the same way and suspect
>> that the loss of Social Security Dependents Benefits in addition to their
>> fears about blindness being a motivating factor for their behavior.
>>
>>    Jenn I don't know all the particulars of your situation, but wanted to
>> throw that out as another possible reason for your parent's treating you
>> that way. But if you're of age you have every right to up and leave
>> whenever
>> you want, and no one can stop you from going. Sometimes situations like
>> this
>> can only be remedied with a little tough love. Mary and I have had to 
>> deal
>> with similar treatment of us particularly by her parents, but they know 
>> we
>> don't hesitate to call them out whenever we feel they've over-stepped
>> their
>> bounds and have meddled in matters which are really none of their
>> business.
>> Know also that you have a federation family that stands ready to help you
>> in
>> whatever way we can to ensure that your future will be filled with
>> promise,
>> and free of your parents over-protection, and control of your life for
>> their
>> benefit. Yours in federationism.
>>
>> Peter Donahue
>>
>> ----- Original Message -----
>> From: "Bonnie Ainsworth" <cedarwoman1965 at neb.rr.com>
>> To: "NFBnet Blind Talk Mailing List" <blindtlk at nfbnet.org>
>> Sent: Monday, September 18, 2006 1:12 PM
>> Subject: Re: [Blindtlk] traveling
>>
>>
>> Jen,
>>
>> How old are you?  Once you're over eighteen, you're legally an adult and
>> they can't try to stop you from living your life.  Sounds like they're
>> afraid to let you out of the house because of your blindness?
>>
>> Bonnie Ainsworth
>> Lincoln, NE USA
>>
>> Access denied ... nah nah na nah nah !
>>
>> ----- Original Message -----
>> From: <jaber37837 at cox.net>
>> To: <blindtlk at nfbnet.org>; <community at nfbri.com>
>> Sent: Monday, September 18, 2006 12:52 PM
>> Subject: [Blindtlk] traveling
>>
>>
>> Hi
>>
>> I have a question or perhaps many questions...maybe even issues.
>>
>> Here's the situation:
>>
>> I would like to take a trip to New York; around the Syracuse area. I 
>> could
>> sneak out of the house, take the Ride bus to the airport and fly there,
>> but
>> then I would get my parents all upset, and they would never trust me
>> again.
>> Plus, once I got there I could take a cab to the hotel, but then what? 
>> The
>> only way I can go anywhere is if I go with a friend...I mean that's the
>> only
>> way I could go without causing an up-roar, but I don't have any friends
>> who
>> I can travel with, and even if I did, that's a really lousy reason to
>> invite
>> them to come along.
>>
>> Is there any way I can get out of my parents' control over me? Is there
>> any
>> way to do it legally without causing hurt feelings etc? I can't talk to
>> them. They don't want to hear it. I've tried.
>>
>> I just feel like I have to do something different, and I can't do
>> anything;
>> not as long as I'm here.
>>
>> Jen
>>
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>>
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>
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