[Blindtlk] appearing competent/MAINTAINING control

[Graves, Diane]

Message
Good Morning To All,
I am in desperate need of some input from my NFB family regarding a
profession situation which I am at a loss for the most efficient and
most independent
way to deal with.  I will try to explain this in a way that makes sense.
I'm hoping that some of you may have had similar experiences and can
advise me
as to the best way to handle this one.  Okay, here we go.
I am now in my 17th year of employment with my local Civil Rights
Commission.F  For the vast majority of that time I have served the
agency in a clerical/secretarial
capacity.  However for about 1 year or a year and a half now, I have
been working as a mediator for the commission.  For those of you who may
not know,
a mediator is someone whose job is to facilitate settlement in cases
filed with the commission, eliminating the necessity of going through
the lengthy
investigative and/or legal processes.
Anyway, sometimes these mediation agreements or settlements are achieved
by phone, however more often than not, the mediation process involves an
in-person
conference which lasts several hours.
At present, I am still conducting these under my supervisor's tutelage/
observation, however, the eventual goal is for me to be flying solo as a
mediator.
 Okay, my dilemma is this.
When an in-person mediation is conducted, it are scheduled in the State
Conference Center, which is across the street from the building that my
agency is
in.  The parties first come to the office, then once everyone has
arrived, we walk across the street to the conference center together.
For quite a while, this transition to the Conference Center was being
made by my walking sighted guide with my supervisor, he and I leading
the participants
across the street together.  Over time however, it became clear to me
that this method was causing feelings of custodial and inferiority
detracting from
my confidence in myself, seeming to make me appear less competent and
more dependent.  I viewed this as a real problem, since I was actually
supposed to
be the one in charge of the meeting.  My supervisor, is only there in an
observational capacity.
Eventually I spoke with my supervisor about these feelings, and we
agreed that I would be better off and would gain more respect, by
leading the party across
the street myself independently.
I'll just say here that, as a cane traveler, I considered myself to be
somewhere in the middle.  I've met people who could run circles around
me with their
excellent travel skills. At the same time, I've also know many who are
much less competent than I.  Overall, I believe my travel skills are
average.
The problem is this.  The route in making this trip across the plaza
between the two buildings tends to vary slightly, and is not exactly
direct.  There
are flower pots, and often cars and people to navigate around, and some
times there is trial and error and exploration involved. There is also a
wide open
area in this route, where there aren't many if nay landmarks, so it is
easy to drift off course in one direction or the other.  Those of us who
understand
nonvisual travel know that it is typical easy enough to correct these
slight deviations, however, I think this tend to make the sighted
nervous and uncomfortable.
 of course, Of course, if you are able to see exactly what you are
dealing with, the route is direct and obstacles are always negotiated
smoothly, cleanly
and go virtually unnoticed.
During this process, there is a tendency on the part of the sighted to
want to offer verbal directions, which of course, makes me nervous, and
are sometimes
distracting.
There was one time when such well intentioned help got me hopelessly off
course, causing great embarrassment to myself, and discomfort to others.
I can't
acknowledge the dependent appearance of the sighted guide technique,
without acknowledging that this latter scenario, made me look equally as
incompetent,
probably much more so.  In this particular instance my supervisor came
to the rescue, and we ended up doing the sighted guide thing anyway. By
the time
we got to the conference room that day, I was so embarrassed by what had
just occurred, that it was hard to focus on our reasons for meeting in
the first
place.
I hope I am expressing myself somewhat coherently. (smile)  I'm hoping
that I can get some feedback from some of you on how you have handled
situations
similar to this.  Do you think it looks more competent to use the
sighted guide technique and walk directly across the plaza and to the
conference room?
 Or, do you think it looks better if I am able to do this successfully
myself?
Of course, eventually I'll be doing these mediations on my own, so I
don't think it would do at all to have to get a sighted guide from the
office to walk
over with me so that I could maximize directness and efficiency.  I'm at
a loss for the best way, here. Any feedback I could get would be greatly
appreciated.
Thanks,
Diane Graves
Civil Rights Specialist
Indiana Civil Rights Commission
Alternative Dispute Resolutions Unit
317-232-2647
 
"Attitude is a little thing that makes a big difference."--Winston
Churchill
 
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Diane Graves 
Civil Rights Specialist 
Indiana Civil Rights Commission 
Alternative Dispute Resolutions Unit 
317-232-2647 

 

"Attitude is a little thing that makes a big difference."--Winston
Churchill  


 

Confidentiality Notice: This E-mail transmission may contain
confidential and/or legally privileged information intended only for the
individual or entity(ies) named in the E-mail address. If you are not
the intended recipient, be advised that any unauthorized disclosure,
copying, distribution, or acting in reliance upon the contents of this
E-mail is strictly prohibited. If you have received this E-mail
transmission in error, please reply to sender to arrange for the return
and proper delivery of the transmission. Subsequently, delete the
message from your system immediately. 

 
-------------- next part --------------
Message
Message
Good Morning To All,
I am in desperate need of some input from my NFB family regarding a profession situation which I am at a loss for the most efficient and most independent
way to deal with.  I will try to explain this in a way that makes sense.  I'm hoping that some of you may have had similar experiences and can advise me
as to the best way to handle this one.  Okay, here we go.
I am now in my 17th year of employment with my local Civil Rights Commission.F  For the vast majority of that time I have served the agency in a clerical/secretarial
capacity.  However for about 1 year or a year and a half now, I have been working as a mediator for the commission.  For those of you who may not know,
a mediator is someone whose job is to facilitate settlement in cases filed with the commission, eliminating the necessity of going through the lengthy
investigative and/or legal processes.
Anyway, sometimes these mediation agreements or settlements are achieved by phone, however more often than not, the mediation process involves an in-person
conference which lasts several hours.
At present, I am still conducting these under my supervisor's tutelage/ observation, however, the eventual goal is for me to be flying solo as a mediator.
 Okay, my dilemma is this.
When an in-person mediation is conducted, it are scheduled in the State Conference Center, which is across the street from the building that my agency is
in.  The parties first come to the office, then once everyone has arrived, we walk across the street to the conference center together.
For quite a while, this transition to the Conference Center was being made by my walking sighted guide with my supervisor, he and I leading the participants
across the street together.  Over time however, it became clear to me that this method was causing feelings of custodial and inferiority detracting from
my confidence in myself, seeming to make me appear less competent and more dependent.  I viewed this as a real problem, since I was actually supposed to
be the one in charge of the meeting.  My supervisor, is only there in an observational capacity.
Eventually I spoke with my supervisor about these feelings, and we agreed that I would be better off and would gain more respect, by leading the party across
the street myself independently.
I'll just say here that, as a cane traveler, I considered myself to be somewhere in the middle.  I've met people who could run circles around me with their
excellent travel skills. At the same time, I've also know many who are much less competent than I.  Overall, I believe my travel skills are average.
The problem is this.  The route in making this trip across the plaza between the two buildings tends to vary slightly, and is not exactly direct.  There
are flower pots, and often cars and people to navigate around, and some times there is trial and error and exploration involved. There is also a wide open
area in this route, where there aren't many if nay landmarks, so it is easy to drift off course in one direction or the other.  Those of us who understand
nonvisual travel know that it is typical easy enough to correct these slight deviations, however, I think this tend to make the sighted nervous and uncomfortable.
 of course, Of course, if you are able to see exactly what you are dealing with, the route is direct and obstacles are always negotiated smoothly, cleanly
and go virtually unnoticed.
During this process, there is a tendency on the part of the sighted to want to offer verbal directions, which of course, makes me nervous, and are sometimes
distracting.
There was one time when such well intentioned help got me hopelessly off course, causing great embarrassment to myself, and discomfort to others.  I can't
acknowledge the dependent appearance of the sighted guide technique, without acknowledging that this latter scenario, made me look equally as incompetent,
probably much more so.  In this particular instance my supervisor came to the rescue, and we ended up doing the sighted guide thing anyway. By the time
we got to the conference room that day, I was so embarrassed by what had just occurred, that it was hard to focus on our reasons for meeting in the first
place.
I hope I am expressing myself somewhat coherently. (smile)  I'm hoping that I can get some feedback from some of you on how you have handled situations
similar to this.  Do you think it looks more competent to use the sighted guide technique and walk directly across the plaza and to the conference room?
 Or, do you think it looks better if I am able to do this successfully myself?
Of course, eventually I'll be doing these mediations on my own, so I don't think it would do at all to have to get a sighted guide from the office to walk
over with me so that I could maximize directness and efficiency.  I'm at a loss for the best way, here. Any feedback I could get would be greatly appreciated.
Thanks,
Diane Graves
Civil Rights Specialist
Indiana Civil Rights Commission
Alternative Dispute Resolutions Unit
317-232-2647
 
"Attitude is a little thing that makes a big difference."--Winston Churchill
 
Confidentiality Notice: This E-mail transmission may contain confidential and/or legally privileged information intended only for the individual or entity(ies)
named in the E-mail address. If you are not the intended recipient, be advised that any unauthorized disclosure, copying, distribution, or acting in reliance
upon the contents of this E-mail is strictly prohibited. If you have received this E-mail transmission in error, please reply to sender to arrange for
the return and proper delivery of the transmission. Subsequently, delete the message from your system immediately.
 
Diane Graves
Civil Rights Specialist
Indiana Civil Rights Commission
Alternative Dispute Resolutions Unit
317-232-2647
 
"Attitude is a little thing that makes a big difference."--Winston
Churchill 
 
Confidentiality Notice: This E-mail transmission may contain confidential and/or legally privileged information intended only for the individual or entity(ies) named in the E-mail address. If you are not the intended recipient, be advised that any unauthorized disclosure, copying, distribution, or acting in reliance upon the contents of this E-mail is strictly prohibited. If you have received this E-mail transmission in error, please reply to sender to arrange for the return and proper delivery of the transmission. Subsequently, delete the message from your system immediately.