[Blindtlk] Internet dating for the blind

Sun Oct 8 15:40:53 CDT 2006

I can't give enough positive enthusiasm for the NFB centers.  Those are 
places that offer the best and most comprehensive programs for independence 
and confidence building.

Judy

----- Original Message ----- 
From: "Cindy Handel" <cindy425 at verizon.net>
To: "NFBnet Blind Talk Mailing List" <blindtlk at nfbnet.org>
Sent: Saturday, October 07, 2006 12:38 PM
Subject: Re: [Blindtlk] Internet dating for the blind

> Jen, did you go to college?  Do you have any interests or ideas of what 
> kind
> of work you might like to do?  Have you ever considered attending an NFB
> training center.  I think it would do a great deal for your opinion of
> yourself.
>
> Cindy
> ----- Original Message ----- 
> From: <jaber37837 at cox.net>
> To: "NFBnet Blind Talk Mailing List" <blindtlk at nfbnet.org>
> Sent: Saturday, October 07, 2006 2:55 PM
> Subject: Re: [Blindtlk] Internet dating for the blind
>
>
> Every time I try and do something (not talking about the trip to NY here),
> either my mother or father either declares that a blind person can't do
> whatever it is by themselves, or they rush over and do it for me before I
> even have a chance to do it. If I go out anywhere with my grandparents or
> with the woman who picks me up for church, my Dad is looking out the
> window...like he doesn't think I know what I'm doing. I have talked to my
> social worker about this, and she said she will help me get an apartment,
> but not yet. So I'm stuck here against my will because even with my SSI
> check, there's no way I can afford to pay rent, pay for a phone and still
> afford food. Not to mention that I can't even go outside because my ramp 
> is
> too steep. I'd break my neck trying to go down it alone...just another
> control tactic in my opinion.
>
> Jen
> ----- Original Message ----- 
> From: "Corey Cook" <ccook55 at sc.rr.com>
> To: "NFBnet Blind Talk Mailing List" <blindtlk at nfbnet.org>
> Sent: Saturday, October 07, 2006 1:35 AM
> Subject: Re: [Blindtlk] Internet dating for the blind
>
>
>> why are you trapped?
>> why can't you do anything to change your situation?
>>
>> Corey Cook
>> ccook55 at sc.rr.com
>> MSN; romans815 at earthlink.net
>> AIM: goldadore922
>> BLOG: http://www.xanga.com/ciu_nice_guy
>> ----- Original Message ----- 
>> From: <jaber37837 at cox.net>
>> To: "NFBnet Blind Talk Mailing List" <blindtlk at nfbnet.org>
>> Sent: Thursday, October 05, 2006 3:42 PM
>> Subject: Re: [Blindtlk] Internet dating for the blind
>>
>>
>> I agree, but as long as Ilive with my parents, I'll never be able to do
>> anything. Now That doesn't mean I'm looking to this guy to take me in;
>> I've
>> spoken to my Social Worker about helping me get my own apartment. That's
>> totally seperate. She will but it willtake months because I'm not in a
>> physically abusive environment. I don't force anyone to do anything for
>> me.
>> I leave it up to them, and if they don't want to do whatever it is or 
>> help
>> in any way, then they don't and I might feel really depressed about it,
>> but
>> I don't let them know. So I figure if anybody comes  along who actually
>> wants to spend time with me, it's because they want to, not because I'm
>> forcing them.
>>
>> As far as moving goes, well, as I said a couple weeks ago, I'm trapped
>> here
>> and can't do anything about it without the Social Worker's help. I really
>> wish there were more laws in place for the disabled.
>>
>> Maybe my judgement is clouded...I've got to do something though. I 
>> despise
>> being alone like this. I don't expect my life would change that much, I
>> just
>> don't want to be alone.
>>
>> Jen
>> ----- Original Message ----- 
>> From: "Mike Freeman" <k7uij at panix.com>
>> To: "NFBnet Blind Talk Mailing List" <blindtlk at nfbnet.org>
>> Sent: Thursday, October 05, 2006 2:12 PM
>> Subject: Re: [Blindtlk] Internet dating for the blind
>>
>>
>>> Jen:
>>>
>>> I'll admit at the outset that loneliness is vastly overrated. It's hard
>>> to keep things in perspective when one is so lonely. I know; I've been
>>> there.
>>>
>>> But consider this: you say you want a "companion" who lets you do
>>> things. You don't need a companion to "let" you do things; you must give
>>> *yourself* permission to do things and find a way to secure the skills
>>> you need to really do them independently. If you have those skills and,
>>> above all, the attitude that you can be independent so that the skills
>>> and attitude reinforce each other, you can, in fact, become independent
>>> and thus will be eminently desirable. The damnable paradox is that while
>>> most people want companionship, they want someone who has demonstrated
>>> his/her ability to be independent so that the interdependency is
>>> voluntary, not forced.
>>>
>>> Don't settle for the first person who comes along; you're better than
>>> that.
>>>
>>> Mike
>>>
>>> On Thu, 5 Oct 2006, jaber37837 at cox.net wrote:
>>>
>>>> Wow, that's cool. I'm happy things worked out the way they did for you.
>>>>
>>>> That's all I've wanted since I was fourteen years old, a companion. 
>>>> When
>>>> people hear me say that, they automatically think that I want this so 
>>>> he
>>>> can
>>>> do things for me, so that I'd be totally dependent etc. Actually, I 
>>>> want
>>>> to
>>>> find someone who will allow me to be as independent as possible; 
>>>> someone
>>>> who
>>>> has faith that I can do it. The emotional need, well that's something
>>>> different...I'm just so damn alone and lonely all the time. It scares 
>>>> me
>>>> to
>>>> think I might be lonely and alone my whole life...I panic thinking 
>>>> about
>>>> it.
>>>>
>>>> Anyway...it does sound like a desperate move on my part, I know, but
>>>> I've
>>>> really got no one, and it really sucks.
>>>>
>>>> Jen
>>>> ----- Original Message -----
>>>> From: "Judy Jones" <nfbwatac at earthlink.net>
>>>> To: "NFBnet Blind Talk Mailing List" <blindtlk at nfbnet.org>
>>>> Sent: Thursday, October 05, 2006 1:32 PM
>>>> Subject: Re: [Blindtlk] Internet dating for the blind
>>>>
>>>>
>>>>> Hi, Jen,
>>>>>
>>>>> As long as you are being wise, keeping control of the geographic
>>>>> location
>>>>> where you are going to meet, and taking precautions for your safety,
>>>>> then
>>>>> it's worth a try.
>>>>>
>>>>> I must also tell you that my husband of 26 years and I had a telephone
>>>>> courtship before becoming engaged then married.  We had known each
>>>>> other
>>>>> as
>>>>> youngsters overseas with military parents, and gotten back together
>>>>> again
>>>>> years later through a mutual friend.
>>>>>
>>>>> Judy
>>>>> ----- Original Message -----
>>>>> From: <jaber37837 at cox.net>
>>>>> To: "NFBnet Blind Talk Mailing List" <blindtlk at nfbnet.org>
>>>>> Sent: Thursday, October 05, 2006 9:00 AM
>>>>> Subject: Re: [Blindtlk] Internet dating for the blind
>>>>>
>>>>>
>>>>>> Hi Judy,
>>>>>>
>>>>>> Yes, I've been talking with him on the phone since the beginning of
>>>>>> all
>>>>>> this, which has been a little over three weeks.
>>>>>>
>>>>>> Sometimes it can be a good thing to meet friends online. I have one
>>>>>> very
>>>>>> good friend, an older man, who I met online. I remember when I first
>>>>>> started
>>>>>> talking to him eight years ago. I kept making excuses why I couldn't
>>>>>> meet
>>>>>> him yet. When I moved into my apartment, I invited him over,...it was
>>>>>> one
>>>>>> of
>>>>>> the best things I ever did. There was another friend I made online
>>>>>> years
>>>>>> later that was a good choice.
>>>>>>
>>>>>> I guess maybe I shouldn't be so scared of this guy....maybe scared
>>>>>> isn't
>>>>>> the
>>>>>> word, but my Grandmother started talking about all the weird stuff
>>>>>> that's
>>>>>> been going on in the news lately. Before she said all that, I wasn't
>>>>>> insecure about it.
>>>>>>
>>>>>> Jen
>>>>>> ----- Original Message -----
>>>>>> From: "Judy Jones" <nfbwatac at earthlink.net>
>>>>>> To: "NFBnet Blind Talk Mailing List" <blindtlk at nfbnet.org>
>>>>>> Sent: Thursday, October 05, 2006 9:24 AM
>>>>>> Subject: Re: [Blindtlk] Internet dating for the blind
>>>>>>
>>>>>>
>>>>>>> Hi,
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>> I realize others may have a differing view from mine, but I would be
>>>>>>> very
>>>>>>> leery of internet dating.  There are too many unknown factors.  Even
>>>>>>> though
>>>>>>> it sounds like you've taken good precautions for yourself, I would
>>>>>>> steer
>>>>>>> clear.
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>> Otherwise, it's really good and commendable of your dad to go along
>>>>>>> for
>>>>>>> your
>>>>>>> first meeting--any trusted friend would be a good idea, too.  I 
>>>>>>> would
>>>>>>> under
>>>>>>> any circumstances never meet alone until I was sure this person 
>>>>>>> could
>>>>>>> be
>>>>>>> trusted and didn't have any ulterior motives.
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>> Have you talked via phone before your first meeting?
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>> I also must say, that both my girls have met good friends on the
>>>>>>> internet.
>>>>>>> One was a girl that our 16-year-old met that was moving to our area
>>>>>>> and
>>>>>>> wanted to meet some friends and find out about schools.
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>> I was very skeptical at first, but she is a delightful girl.
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>> The same thing happened again--a young man wanted to find out about
>>>>>>> schools
>>>>>>> here; his family was moving here from South Carolina.  Now, both
>>>>>>> girls
>>>>>>> and
>>>>>>> their friends have been hanging with him, and he is a total
>>>>>>> gentleman.
>>>>>>> His
>>>>>>> family is very nice, and I will be meeting with his mom soon, as she
>>>>>>> is
>>>>>>> also
>>>>>>> looking for women friends here, too.
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>> Best wishes, and let us know how everything goes.
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>> Judy
>>>>>>> ----- Original Message -----
>>>>>>> From: <jaber37837 at cox.net>
>>>>>>> To: "BlindTalk" <blindtlk at nfbnet.org>
>>>>>>> Sent: Wednesday, October 04, 2006 9:46 PM
>>>>>>> Subject: [Blindtlk] Internet dating for the blind
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>> Hi listers,
>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>> I'm not sure if this is the proper place to discuss this, but I
>>>>>>>> thought
>>>>>>>> I
>>>>>>>> would put it out there anyway.
>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>> About a week or so ago, I had mentioned that I had met someone in
>>>>>>>> New
>>>>>>>> York
>>>>>>>> who seems to be interested in me, and I have found a way to get
>>>>>>>> there
>>>>>>>> without causing an up-roar at home (I was worried about how my
>>>>>>>> parents
>>>>>>>> would
>>>>>>>> react if I just took off).
>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>> Well, I have arranged it so that my Dad will be bringing me to meet
>>>>>>>> this
>>>>>>>> guy. Sounds ok, right? He isn't thrilled, but he understands why it
>>>>>>>> needs
>>>>>>>> to
>>>>>>>> be this way. I just can't help wondering if I'm wrong about him
>>>>>>>> somehow.
>>>>>>>> Of
>>>>>>>> course, I think this way about everybody, even perfectly safe
>>>>>>>> people.
>>>>>>>> I've
>>>>>>>> done a criminal back ground check on him, nothing there except for 
>>>>>>>> a
>>>>>>>> traffic
>>>>>>>> violation from sixteen years ago, he sounds ok to me, but is he?
>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>> Anyway, I could go on and on about this all night, but I won't. I
>>>>>>>> just
>>>>>>>> don't
>>>>>>>> know what to think.
>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>> I've checked everything I could think of, address, criminal
>>>>>>>> background,
>>>>>>>> Psych profile, everything seems fine.
>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>> I guess I just would appreciate some advice if anyone has any. I'm
>>>>>>>> really
>>>>>>>> excited about meeting him, but my paranoia is getting in the 
>>>>>>>> way...I
>>>>>>>> could
>>>>>>>> be worrying about nothing.
>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>> Thanks for any input,
>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>> Jen
>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>> _______________________________________________
>>>>>>>> blindtlk mailing list
>>>>>>>> blindtlk at nfbnet.org
>>>>>>>> http://www.nfbnet.org/mailman/listinfo/blindtlk
>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>> _______________________________________________
>>>>>>> blindtlk mailing list
>>>>>>> blindtlk at nfbnet.org
>>>>>>> http://www.nfbnet.org/mailman/listinfo/blindtlk
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>
>>>>>> _______________________________________________
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>>>>>>
>>>>>
>>>>> _______________________________________________
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>>>>>
>>>>
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