[Blindtlk] Internet dating for the blind

Sat Oct 7 13:55:46 CDT 2006

Every time I try and do something (not talking about the trip to NY here), 
either my mother or father either declares that a blind person can't do 
whatever it is by themselves, or they rush over and do it for me before I 
even have a chance to do it. If I go out anywhere with my grandparents or 
with the woman who picks me up for church, my Dad is looking out the 
window...like he doesn't think I know what I'm doing. I have talked to my 
social worker about this, and she said she will help me get an apartment, 
but not yet. So I'm stuck here against my will because even with my SSI 
check, there's no way I can afford to pay rent, pay for a phone and still 
afford food. Not to mention that I can't even go outside because my ramp is 
too steep. I'd break my neck trying to go down it alone...just another 
control tactic in my opinion.

Jen
----- Original Message ----- 
From: "Corey Cook" <ccook55 at sc.rr.com>
To: "NFBnet Blind Talk Mailing List" <blindtlk at nfbnet.org>
Sent: Saturday, October 07, 2006 1:35 AM
Subject: Re: [Blindtlk] Internet dating for the blind

> why are you trapped?
> why can't you do anything to change your situation?
>
> Corey Cook
> ccook55 at sc.rr.com
> MSN; romans815 at earthlink.net
> AIM: goldadore922
> BLOG: http://www.xanga.com/ciu_nice_guy
> ----- Original Message ----- 
> From: <jaber37837 at cox.net>
> To: "NFBnet Blind Talk Mailing List" <blindtlk at nfbnet.org>
> Sent: Thursday, October 05, 2006 3:42 PM
> Subject: Re: [Blindtlk] Internet dating for the blind
>
>
> I agree, but as long as Ilive with my parents, I'll never be able to do
> anything. Now That doesn't mean I'm looking to this guy to take me in; 
> I've
> spoken to my Social Worker about helping me get my own apartment. That's
> totally seperate. She will but it willtake months because I'm not in a
> physically abusive environment. I don't force anyone to do anything for 
> me.
> I leave it up to them, and if they don't want to do whatever it is or help
> in any way, then they don't and I might feel really depressed about it, 
> but
> I don't let them know. So I figure if anybody comes  along who actually
> wants to spend time with me, it's because they want to, not because I'm
> forcing them.
>
> As far as moving goes, well, as I said a couple weeks ago, I'm trapped 
> here
> and can't do anything about it without the Social Worker's help. I really
> wish there were more laws in place for the disabled.
>
> Maybe my judgement is clouded...I've got to do something though. I despise
> being alone like this. I don't expect my life would change that much, I 
> just
> don't want to be alone.
>
> Jen
> ----- Original Message ----- 
> From: "Mike Freeman" <k7uij at panix.com>
> To: "NFBnet Blind Talk Mailing List" <blindtlk at nfbnet.org>
> Sent: Thursday, October 05, 2006 2:12 PM
> Subject: Re: [Blindtlk] Internet dating for the blind
>
>
>> Jen:
>>
>> I'll admit at the outset that loneliness is vastly overrated. It's hard
>> to keep things in perspective when one is so lonely. I know; I've been
>> there.
>>
>> But consider this: you say you want a "companion" who lets you do
>> things. You don't need a companion to "let" you do things; you must give
>> *yourself* permission to do things and find a way to secure the skills
>> you need to really do them independently. If you have those skills and,
>> above all, the attitude that you can be independent so that the skills
>> and attitude reinforce each other, you can, in fact, become independent
>> and thus will be eminently desirable. The damnable paradox is that while
>> most people want companionship, they want someone who has demonstrated
>> his/her ability to be independent so that the interdependency is
>> voluntary, not forced.
>>
>> Don't settle for the first person who comes along; you're better than
>> that.
>>
>> Mike
>>
>> On Thu, 5 Oct 2006, jaber37837 at cox.net wrote:
>>
>>> Wow, that's cool. I'm happy things worked out the way they did for you.
>>>
>>> That's all I've wanted since I was fourteen years old, a companion. When
>>> people hear me say that, they automatically think that I want this so he
>>> can
>>> do things for me, so that I'd be totally dependent etc. Actually, I want
>>> to
>>> find someone who will allow me to be as independent as possible; someone
>>> who
>>> has faith that I can do it. The emotional need, well that's something
>>> different...I'm just so damn alone and lonely all the time. It scares me
>>> to
>>> think I might be lonely and alone my whole life...I panic thinking about
>>> it.
>>>
>>> Anyway...it does sound like a desperate move on my part, I know, but 
>>> I've
>>> really got no one, and it really sucks.
>>>
>>> Jen
>>> ----- Original Message -----
>>> From: "Judy Jones" <nfbwatac at earthlink.net>
>>> To: "NFBnet Blind Talk Mailing List" <blindtlk at nfbnet.org>
>>> Sent: Thursday, October 05, 2006 1:32 PM
>>> Subject: Re: [Blindtlk] Internet dating for the blind
>>>
>>>
>>>> Hi, Jen,
>>>>
>>>> As long as you are being wise, keeping control of the geographic
>>>> location
>>>> where you are going to meet, and taking precautions for your safety,
>>>> then
>>>> it's worth a try.
>>>>
>>>> I must also tell you that my husband of 26 years and I had a telephone
>>>> courtship before becoming engaged then married.  We had known each 
>>>> other
>>>> as
>>>> youngsters overseas with military parents, and gotten back together
>>>> again
>>>> years later through a mutual friend.
>>>>
>>>> Judy
>>>> ----- Original Message -----
>>>> From: <jaber37837 at cox.net>
>>>> To: "NFBnet Blind Talk Mailing List" <blindtlk at nfbnet.org>
>>>> Sent: Thursday, October 05, 2006 9:00 AM
>>>> Subject: Re: [Blindtlk] Internet dating for the blind
>>>>
>>>>
>>>>> Hi Judy,
>>>>>
>>>>> Yes, I've been talking with him on the phone since the beginning of 
>>>>> all
>>>>> this, which has been a little over three weeks.
>>>>>
>>>>> Sometimes it can be a good thing to meet friends online. I have one
>>>>> very
>>>>> good friend, an older man, who I met online. I remember when I first
>>>>> started
>>>>> talking to him eight years ago. I kept making excuses why I couldn't
>>>>> meet
>>>>> him yet. When I moved into my apartment, I invited him over,...it was
>>>>> one
>>>>> of
>>>>> the best things I ever did. There was another friend I made online
>>>>> years
>>>>> later that was a good choice.
>>>>>
>>>>> I guess maybe I shouldn't be so scared of this guy....maybe scared
>>>>> isn't
>>>>> the
>>>>> word, but my Grandmother started talking about all the weird stuff
>>>>> that's
>>>>> been going on in the news lately. Before she said all that, I wasn't
>>>>> insecure about it.
>>>>>
>>>>> Jen
>>>>> ----- Original Message -----
>>>>> From: "Judy Jones" <nfbwatac at earthlink.net>
>>>>> To: "NFBnet Blind Talk Mailing List" <blindtlk at nfbnet.org>
>>>>> Sent: Thursday, October 05, 2006 9:24 AM
>>>>> Subject: Re: [Blindtlk] Internet dating for the blind
>>>>>
>>>>>
>>>>>> Hi,
>>>>>>
>>>>>> I realize others may have a differing view from mine, but I would be
>>>>>> very
>>>>>> leery of internet dating.  There are too many unknown factors.  Even
>>>>>> though
>>>>>> it sounds like you've taken good precautions for yourself, I would
>>>>>> steer
>>>>>> clear.
>>>>>>
>>>>>> Otherwise, it's really good and commendable of your dad to go along
>>>>>> for
>>>>>> your
>>>>>> first meeting--any trusted friend would be a good idea, too.  I would
>>>>>> under
>>>>>> any circumstances never meet alone until I was sure this person could
>>>>>> be
>>>>>> trusted and didn't have any ulterior motives.
>>>>>>
>>>>>> Have you talked via phone before your first meeting?
>>>>>>
>>>>>> I also must say, that both my girls have met good friends on the
>>>>>> internet.
>>>>>> One was a girl that our 16-year-old met that was moving to our area
>>>>>> and
>>>>>> wanted to meet some friends and find out about schools.
>>>>>>
>>>>>> I was very skeptical at first, but she is a delightful girl.
>>>>>>
>>>>>> The same thing happened again--a young man wanted to find out about
>>>>>> schools
>>>>>> here; his family was moving here from South Carolina.  Now, both 
>>>>>> girls
>>>>>> and
>>>>>> their friends have been hanging with him, and he is a total 
>>>>>> gentleman.
>>>>>> His
>>>>>> family is very nice, and I will be meeting with his mom soon, as she
>>>>>> is
>>>>>> also
>>>>>> looking for women friends here, too.
>>>>>>
>>>>>> Best wishes, and let us know how everything goes.
>>>>>>
>>>>>> Judy
>>>>>> ----- Original Message -----
>>>>>> From: <jaber37837 at cox.net>
>>>>>> To: "BlindTalk" <blindtlk at nfbnet.org>
>>>>>> Sent: Wednesday, October 04, 2006 9:46 PM
>>>>>> Subject: [Blindtlk] Internet dating for the blind
>>>>>>
>>>>>>
>>>>>>> Hi listers,
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>> I'm not sure if this is the proper place to discuss this, but I
>>>>>>> thought
>>>>>>> I
>>>>>>> would put it out there anyway.
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>> About a week or so ago, I had mentioned that I had met someone in 
>>>>>>> New
>>>>>>> York
>>>>>>> who seems to be interested in me, and I have found a way to get 
>>>>>>> there
>>>>>>> without causing an up-roar at home (I was worried about how my
>>>>>>> parents
>>>>>>> would
>>>>>>> react if I just took off).
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>> Well, I have arranged it so that my Dad will be bringing me to meet
>>>>>>> this
>>>>>>> guy. Sounds ok, right? He isn't thrilled, but he understands why it
>>>>>>> needs
>>>>>>> to
>>>>>>> be this way. I just can't help wondering if I'm wrong about him
>>>>>>> somehow.
>>>>>>> Of
>>>>>>> course, I think this way about everybody, even perfectly safe 
>>>>>>> people.
>>>>>>> I've
>>>>>>> done a criminal back ground check on him, nothing there except for a
>>>>>>> traffic
>>>>>>> violation from sixteen years ago, he sounds ok to me, but is he?
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>> Anyway, I could go on and on about this all night, but I won't. I
>>>>>>> just
>>>>>>> don't
>>>>>>> know what to think.
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>> I've checked everything I could think of, address, criminal
>>>>>>> background,
>>>>>>> Psych profile, everything seems fine.
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>> I guess I just would appreciate some advice if anyone has any. I'm
>>>>>>> really
>>>>>>> excited about meeting him, but my paranoia is getting in the way...I
>>>>>>> could
>>>>>>> be worrying about nothing.
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>> Thanks for any input,
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>> Jen
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>> _______________________________________________
>>>>>>> blindtlk mailing list
>>>>>>> blindtlk at nfbnet.org
>>>>>>> http://www.nfbnet.org/mailman/listinfo/blindtlk
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>
>>>>>> _______________________________________________
>>>>>> blindtlk mailing list
>>>>>> blindtlk at nfbnet.org
>>>>>> http://www.nfbnet.org/mailman/listinfo/blindtlk
>>>>>>
>>>>>
>>>>> _______________________________________________
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>>>>> http://www.nfbnet.org/mailman/listinfo/blindtlk
>>>>>
>>>>
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