[Blindtlk] Internet dating for the blind

Fri Oct 6 20:19:14 CDT 2006

Completely agree with Sherry.
We should listen to her wisdom.

Corey Cook
ccook55 at sc.rr.com
MSN; romans815 at earthlink.net
AIM: goldadore922
BLOG: http://www.xanga.com/ciu_nice_guy
----- Original Message ----- 
From: "Sherry Gomes" <sherriola at earthlink.net>
To: "'NFBnet Blind Talk Mailing List'" <blindtlk at nfbnet.org>
Sent: Friday, October 06, 2006 9:00 PM
Subject: Re: [Blindtlk] Internet dating for the blind

I can't agree more strongly.  It is extremely dangerous to stay in his home.
Please, think of other ways around it.  I would not do it, and I wanted to
get married all my life since well before 14.  But I would not take that
risk.  I'm also extremely familiar with your church, and I know that a
worthy man would not be having a woman who is not his wife alone in his
house with his bishop's blessing.  If it was my sister, I would beg her not
to do it and would probably resort to yelling and swearing, and she's in her
40's.  every reliable source you could ask about this situation would advise
you not, not, not to stay in his house and to meet him on neutral territory.
like Judy, I won't mention this again, but please think about what we have
all tried to say.  We are just concerned for your physical and emotional
well being.

Sherry

-----Original Message-----
From: blindtlk-bounces at nfbnet.org [mailto:blindtlk-bounces at nfbnet.org] On
Behalf Of Judy Jones
Sent: Friday, October 06, 2006 2:22 PM
To: NFBnet Blind Talk Mailing List
Subject: Re: [Blindtlk] Internet dating for the blind

Oh, Jen, please don't stay in his house alone with him.  If he is
above-board, then that is exemplary; otherwise, you're really asking for
problems.

Another work-around might be to also stay at the hotel for those days, and,
as has been mentioned, meet on neutral territory.  You can do some fun
things around town during the day, go out to dinner, but not stay at his
house.

I won't bring this up any more from now on, but you're really playing with
fire to put yourself in a potentially vulnerable situation.  This is not a
good idea for women to do, sighted or blind.  I can tell you right now I
would never be in favor of either of my daughters doing anything like that;
women have to be careful nowadays, and it's important for you to keep
control of your environment.

Anyway, best wishes, and know that we're all on your team.

Judy

----- Original Message -----
From: <jaber37837 at cox.net>
To: "NFBnet Blind Talk Mailing List" <blindtlk at nfbnet.org>
Sent: Friday, October 06, 2006 12:30 PM
Subject: Re: [Blindtlk] Internet dating for the blind

> Hi,
>
> I just wanted to explain a bit more about what was agreed upon. I'm not
> trying to justify anything or try and get anyone to change their opinions,

> I
> just thought this was worth being mentioned.
>
> At first I told him I would escape my house, get on a plane and meet him
> in
> Syracuse. After thinking about that for a few days, I realized that would
> be
> a really stupid idea, probably the stupidest thing I could ever do, so I
> made up a story.
>
> I told him that my Mom found out my plans and took my bus tickets away so
> that I couldn't get the bus to the airport. Then I said that my Dad was
> willing to bring me for a few days. Later when I called him on the phone,
> he
> asked me where my Dad would stay, and I said a hotel not far from where
> I'd
> be, which his response was, "I've got to think about it."
>
> I guess he thought about it and is ok with that arrangement because two
> days
> later he asked me when I was coming.
>
> Please don't worry. I know I may have a strange way of doing it, but I
> really am checking everything out. When I get that blasted report I
> ordered,
> which I ordered three weeks ago, it will tell me what he does for a
> living,
> whether he holds any licenses, assets, twenty year address history,
> neighbors, criminal history (if any) etc. I am really wanting to see about
> his licenses; if he owns a license for a gun, I'm definitely cutting all
> communication with him. Of course, it has occurred to me that just because
> he might not have a license to own one doesn't mean he doesn't have one in
> the house. My last resort will be to call some neighbors and see what they
> have to say about him. If I don't like what they say or don't like
> something
> I read or find out, I won't go. I even asked my Bishop to see if he can
> find
> out if he is really a member of the LDS church and whether he is a worthy
> member or not. The reason I haven't told him that I'm checking him out is
> because if he knows I'm checking him out, he might be able to alter some
> information. I think it's better to surprise him if necessary.
>
> I will definitely check out the tax and licenses Office though. Thanks
> Judy.
>
> Jen
>
>
>
> ----- Original Message ----- 
> From: "Steve Jacobson" <steve.jacobson at visi.com>
> To: "NFBnet Blind Talk Mailing List" <blindtlk at nfbnet.org>
> Sent: Friday, October 06, 2006 9:54 AM
> Subject: Re: [Blindtlk] Internet dating for the blind
>
>
>>I really think we need to be careful not to get hung up on this.  The fact
>>is, if the guy is a realter and he has a license, it doesn't change the
>>fact that meeting him at
>> his house alone on the first date is not a good idea.  In my mind,
>> finding
>> that he has a license would not change my thinking on that.  If he
>> doesn't
>> have a license,
>> then one has to know what he actually said.  If he said he owns his own
>> business and one can't find a trace of it, then one would wonder about
>> his
>> truthfulness.
>> However, if he said he works in real estate, he could be handling web
>> design for a listing service or any number of other jobs that don't
>> involve direct sales.  He
>> could even be starting his own business but not have the paperwork done.
>> The point is, a neutral meeting place just makes complete sense.  If he
>> seems decent
>> and nice on the phone and worth the effort, finding out more about his
>> business ahead of time is probably good to expose any tendency to be
>> completely untruthful,
>> but finding he has an explanation or that he is exactly what he says he
>> is
>> doesn't change my feeling that starting out at his house is not a good
>> idea.
>>
>> On Fri, 6 Oct 2006 06:25:51 -0700, Judy Jones wrote:
>>
>>>Hi,
>>
>>>Cindy is right; if he is operating a business he has to have a license,
>>>they
>>>call it a UBI, and she can find that through his city's tax and licensing
>>>office.
>>
>>>Judy
>>
>>>----- Original Message ----- 
>>>From: "Ray Foret Jr." <rforetjr at bellsouth.net>
>>>To: "NFBnet Blind Talk Mailing List" <blindtlk at nfbnet.org>
>>>Sent: Thursday, October 05, 2006 3:47 PM
>>>Subject: Re: [Blindtlk] Internet dating for the blind
>>
>>
>>>> Could you not contact the board of Realtors in his area?  Surely, if he
>>>> has
>>>> a license, or not, the board of realtors in his area would be able to
>>>> look
>>>> him up and tell you right off whether he has a license or not.  IF he
>>>> has
>>>> a
>>>> license, I suspect he'd have to be registered with the local board of
>>>> realtors for his area.  I already hear all kinds of alarm bells going
>>>> off
>>>> in
>>>> my head about this fella.
>>>>
>>>> Sincerely yours,
>>>> The Constantly Barefooted,
>>>> Ray
>>>> Home phone and fax:
>>>> (985)853-0139
>>>> E-mail:
>>>> rforetjr at bellsouth.net
>>>> Skype Name:
>>>> barefootedray
>>>> Blog:
>>>> www.raysworld.blogs.com
>>>> Podcast .rss Feed:
>>>> http://feeds.feedburner.com/worldofray
>>>>
>>>> God bless President George W. Bush!
>>>> God bless our troops!
>>>> and God bless America
>>>> ----- Original Message ----- 
>>>> From: "Cindy Handel" <cindy425 at verizon.net>
>>>> To: "NFBnet Blind Talk Mailing List" <blindtlk at nfbnet.org>
>>>> Sent: Thursday, October 05, 2006 4:57 PM
>>>> Subject: Re: [Blindtlk] Internet dating for the blind
>>>>
>>>>
>>>> Well, if he sells real estate, he has to have a license.  If he doesn't
>>>> have
>>>> a license, then he's selling illegally or he isn't actually selling.
>>>> But,
>>>> if he told you he has his own business, he'd have to have a license.
>>>>
>>>> Cindy
>>>> ----- Original Message ----- 
>>>> From: <jaber37837 at cox.net>
>>>> To: "NFBnet Blind Talk Mailing List" <blindtlk at nfbnet.org>
>>>> Sent: Thursday, October 05, 2006 4:56 PM
>>>> Subject: Re: [Blindtlk] Internet dating for the blind
>>>>
>>>>
>>>> I checked out the Department of State. No one by his name owns a Real
>>>> Estate
>>>> license, either as a broker or an appraiser. What does this mean? Does
>>>> it
>>>> mean either he lied or he works for somebody?
>>>>
>>>> Jen
>>>> ----- Original Message ----- 
>>>> From: "Cindy Handel" <cindy425 at verizon.net>
>>>> To: "NFBnet Blind Talk Mailing List" <blindtlk at nfbnet.org>
>>>> Sent: Thursday, October 05, 2006 4:49 PM
>>>> Subject: Re: [Blindtlk] Internet dating for the blind
>>>>
>>>>
>>>>> Yes, Jen, it will.  I don't believe there would be any reason for you
>>>>> to
>>>>> even give your name.  You could just tell them that you want to check
>>>>> to
>>>>> be
>>>>> sure that he has a current real estate license and business license.
>>>>>
>>>>> Cindy
>>>>> ----- Original Message ----- 
>>>>> From: <jaber37837 at cox.net>
>>>>> To: "NFBnet Blind Talk Mailing List" <blindtlk at nfbnet.org>
>>>>> Sent: Thursday, October 05, 2006 4:34 PM
>>>>> Subject: Re: [Blindtlk] Internet dating for the blind
>>>>>
>>>>>
>>>>> Thanks Cindy, this helps. I only know his full name, not the name of
>>>>> his
>>>>> business. I just hope that when I call, it remains confidential.
>>>>>
>>>>> Jen
>>>>> ----- Original Message ----- 
>>>>> From: "Cindy Handel" <cindy425 at verizon.net>
>>>>> To: "NFBnet Blind Talk Mailing List" <blindtlk at nfbnet.org>
>>>>> Sent: Thursday, October 05, 2006 4:12 PM
>>>>> Subject: Re: [Blindtlk] Internet dating for the blind
>>>>>
>>>>>
>>>>>> Actually, you'd have to know where his business is and the name, in
>>>>>> order
>>>>>> for the Better Business Bureau to help.  Additionally, they'd know if
>>>>>> there
>>>>>> had been complaints against him, but not necessarily if he has a
>>>>>> license.
>>>>>> So, the Department of State would provide more information.
>>>>>>
>>>>>> Cindy
>>>>>> ----- Original Message ----- 
>>>>>> From: "Alan Wheeler" <awheeler at neb.rr.com>
>>>>>> To: "'NFBnet Blind Talk Mailing List'" <blindtlk at nfbnet.org>
>>>>>> Sent: Thursday, October 05, 2006 3:49 PM
>>>>>> Subject: Re: [Blindtlk] Internet dating for the blind
>>>>>>
>>>>>>
>>>>>> The better business bureau for starters.
>>>>>>
>>>>>>
>>>>>>
>>>>>>
>>>>>> Alan Wheeler
>>>>>> awheeler at neb.rr.com or alan_wheeler at neb.rr.com
>>>>>> redwheel1 on skype
>>>>>> http://alan-wheeler.blogspot.com/
>>>>>> "Tell the people the truth and the country will be free"
>>>>>>  --Abraham Lincoln
>>>>>>
>>>>>>
>>>>>> -----Original Message-----
>>>>>> From: blindtlk-bounces at nfbnet.org
>>>>>> [mailto:blindtlk-bounces at nfbnet.org]
>>>>>> On
>>>>>> Behalf Of jaber37837 at cox.net
>>>>>> Sent: Thursday, October 05, 2006 2:45 PM
>>>>>> To: NFBnet Blind Talk Mailing List
>>>>>> Subject: Re: [Blindtlk] Internet dating for the blind
>>>>>>
>>>>>> I was planning on staying for two days. My Dad doesn't want to stay
>>>>>> any
>>>>>> longer than that. AS far as calling NY to find out if he really does
>>>>>> what
>>>>>> he
>>>>>> says he does, not a bad idea, except who would I call...Chamber of
>>>>>> Commerce?
>>>>>>
>>>>>> Jen
>>>>>> ----- Original Message -----
>>>>>> From: "Cindy Handel" <cindy425 at verizon.net>
>>>>>> To: "NFBnet Blind Talk Mailing List" <blindtlk at nfbnet.org>
>>>>>> Sent: Thursday, October 05, 2006 2:24 PM
>>>>>> Subject: Re: [Blindtlk] Internet dating for the blind
>>>>>>
>>>>>>
>>>>>>> Jen,
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>> A phone call or two, to New York State, should be able to tell you
>>>>>>> if
>>>>>>> he
>>>>>>> has
>>>>>>> a real estate license and if he has his own business.  If for no
>>>>>>> other
>>>>>>> reason, I think I'd put the trip off, for awhile, just because three
>>>>>>> weeks
>>>>>>> seems to soon, to me, to travel that far to meet someone who isn't
>>>>>>> willing
>>>>>>> to do the same for you.  If he has a real estate business and can
>>>>>>> see,
>>>>>>> he
>>>>>>> probably does drive.  So, it would be a lot easier for him to come
>>>>>>> to
>>>>>>> where
>>>>>>> you are.
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>> Are you planning to meet at a restaurant?  How long do you plan to
>>>>>>> spend
>>>>>>> there, after driving five hours?
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>> I still think it would be a good idea to wait, even if you do get
>>>>>>> the
>>>>>>> answers you hope for.  I think you need more time to get to know
>>>>>>> him.
>>>>>>> You
>>>>>>> need to know if the information he give you, about himself, is
>>>>>>> consistent
>>>>>>> and if he isn't afraid to answer your questions about him.  He wants
>>>>>>> you
>>>>>>> to
>>>>>>> be upfront and honest.  He should do the same.
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>> Cindy
>>>>>>> ----- Original Message ----- 
>>>>>>> From: <jaber37837 at cox.net>
>>>>>>> To: "NFBnet Blind Talk Mailing List" <blindtlk at nfbnet.org>
>>>>>>> Sent: Thursday, October 05, 2006 1:34 PM
>>>>>>> Subject: Re: [Blindtlk] Internet dating for the blind
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>> Hi Cindy,
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>> He said that because of his Real Estate business, it's difficult for
>>>>>>> him
>>>>>>> to
>>>>>>> get away. Yes, this was a red flag for me immediately, however there
>>>>>>> may
>>>>>>> be
>>>>>>> a legitimate reason why this is true. I did ask him to come here to
>>>>>>> Rhode
>>>>>>> Island, and at first he said it wasn't a problem, but then he asked
>>>>>>> me
>>>>>>> to
>>>>>>> come to see him; it's only a five hour drive. So I arranged it
>>>>>>> because
>>>>>>> my
>>>>>>> Dad has nothing better to do really.
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>> I'm still waiting for the report I ordered. It will tell me his
>>>>>>> general
>>>>>>> behavior, whether or not he does run a real estate business, what
>>>>>>> assets
>>>>>>> he
>>>>>>> has, whether he owns any licenses...of course, if everything he told
>>>>>>> me
>>>>>>> is
>>>>>>
>>>>>>> a
>>>>>>> lie, I'm definitely not going. I don't know yet though, so I'll have
>>>>>>> to
>>>>>>> wait
>>>>>>> and find out.
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>> Jen
>>>>>>> ----- Original Message ----- 
>>>>>>> From: "Cindy Handel" <cindy425 at verizon.net>
>>>>>>> To: "NFBnet Blind Talk Mailing List" <blindtlk at nfbnet.org>
>>>>>>> Sent: Thursday, October 05, 2006 11:45 AM
>>>>>>> Subject: Re: [Blindtlk] Internet dating for the blind
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>> Jen,
>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>> I have to echo what others have said.  How much of a distance is
>>>>>>>> there
>>>>>>>> between you and New York, where you're meeting this guy?  Where are
>>>>>>>> you
>>>>>>>> going to meet?  Is that where your date will be, like a restaurant
>>>>>>>> or
>>>>>>>> something like that?  If this guy drives, wouldn't it be easier,
>>>>>>>> and
>>>>>>>> more
>>>>>>>> desirable, for him to come to where you are?  At least, if you're
>>>>>>>> in
>>>>>>>> your
>>>>>>>> own area, you could choose where to go for the date and feel more
>>>>>>>> comfortable about leaving, if things didn't go the way you planned.
>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>> Cindy
>>>>>>>> ----- Original Message ----- 
>>>>>>>> From: <jaber37837 at cox.net>
>>>>>>>> To: "BlindTalk" <blindtlk at nfbnet.org>
>>>>>>>> Sent: Thursday, October 05, 2006 12:46 AM
>>>>>>>> Subject: [Blindtlk] Internet dating for the blind
>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>> Hi listers,
>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>> I'm not sure if this is the proper place to discuss this, but I
>>>>>>>> thought
>>>>>>>> I
>>>>>>>> would put it out there anyway.
>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>> About a week or so ago, I had mentioned that I had met someone in
>>>>>>>> New
>>>>>>>> York
>>>>>>>> who seems to be interested in me, and I have found a way to get
>>>>>>>> there
>>>>>>>> without causing an up-roar at home (I was worried about how my
>>>>>>>> parents
>>>>>>>> would
>>>>>>>> react if I just took off).
>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>> Well, I have arranged it so that my Dad will be bringing me to meet
>>>>>>>> this
>>>>>>>> guy. Sounds ok, right? He isn't thrilled, but he understands why it
>>>>>>>> needs
>>>>>>>> to
>>>>>>>> be this way. I just can't help wondering if I'm wrong about him
>>>>>>>> somehow.
>>>>>>>> Of
>>>>>>>> course, I think this way about everybody, even perfectly safe
>>>>>>>> people.
>>>>>>>> I've
>>>>>>>> done a criminal back ground check on him, nothing there except for
>>>>>>>> a
>>>>>>>> traffic
>>>>>>>> violation from sixteen years ago, he sounds ok to me, but is he?
>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>> Anyway, I could go on and on about this all night, but I won't. I
>>>>>>>> just
>>>>>>>> don't
>>>>>>>> know what to think.
>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>> I've checked everything I could think of, address, criminal
>>>>>>>> background,
>>>>>>>> Psych profile, everything seems fine.
>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>> I guess I just would appreciate some advice if anyone has any. I'm
>>>>>>>> really
>>>>>>>> excited about meeting him, but my paranoia is getting in the
>>>>>>>> way...I
>>>>>>>> could
>>>>>>>> be worrying about nothing.
>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>> Thanks for any input,
>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>> Jen
>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>> _______________________________________________
>>>>>>>> blindtlk mailing list
>>>>>>>> blindtlk at nfbnet.org
>>>>>>>> http://www.nfbnet.org/mailman/listinfo/blindtlk
>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>> _______________________________________________
>>>>>>>> blindtlk mailing list
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>>>>>>>
>>>>>>> _______________________________________________
>>>>>>> blindtlk mailing list
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>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>> _______________________________________________
>>>>>>> blindtlk mailing list
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>>>>>>
>>>>>> _______________________________________________
>>>>>> blindtlk mailing list
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>>>>>>
>>>>>>
>>>>>> -- 
>>>>>> No virus found in this incoming message.
>>>>>> Checked by AVG Free Edition.
>>>>>> Version: 7.1.407 / Virus Database: 268.12.13/463 - Release Date:
>>>>>> 10/4/2006
>>>>>>
>>>>>>
>>>>>> _______________________________________________
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>>>>>>
>>>>>>
>>>>>> _______________________________________________
>>>>>> blindtlk mailing list
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>>>>>>
>>>>>
>>>>> _______________________________________________
>>>>> blindtlk mailing list
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>>>>>
>>>>>
>>>>> _______________________________________________
>>>>> blindtlk mailing list
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>>>>
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>>>>
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>>
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>>
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