[Blindtlk] Internet dating for the blind

Thu Oct 5 14:42:09 CDT 2006

I agree, but as long as Ilive with my parents, I'll never be able to do 
anything. Now That doesn't mean I'm looking to this guy to take me in; I've 
spoken to my Social Worker about helping me get my own apartment. That's 
totally seperate. She will but it willtake months because I'm not in a 
physically abusive environment. I don't force anyone to do anything for me. 
I leave it up to them, and if they don't want to do whatever it is or help 
in any way, then they don't and I might feel really depressed about it, but 
I don't let them know. So I figure if anybody comes  along who actually 
wants to spend time with me, it's because they want to, not because I'm 
forcing them.

As far as moving goes, well, as I said a couple weeks ago, I'm trapped here 
and can't do anything about it without the Social Worker's help. I really 
wish there were more laws in place for the disabled.

Maybe my judgement is clouded...I've got to do something though. I despise 
being alone like this. I don't expect my life would change that much, I just 
don't want to be alone.

Jen
----- Original Message ----- 
From: "Mike Freeman" <k7uij at panix.com>
To: "NFBnet Blind Talk Mailing List" <blindtlk at nfbnet.org>
Sent: Thursday, October 05, 2006 2:12 PM
Subject: Re: [Blindtlk] Internet dating for the blind

> Jen:
>
> I'll admit at the outset that loneliness is vastly overrated. It's hard
> to keep things in perspective when one is so lonely. I know; I've been
> there.
>
> But consider this: you say you want a "companion" who lets you do
> things. You don't need a companion to "let" you do things; you must give
> *yourself* permission to do things and find a way to secure the skills
> you need to really do them independently. If you have those skills and,
> above all, the attitude that you can be independent so that the skills
> and attitude reinforce each other, you can, in fact, become independent
> and thus will be eminently desirable. The damnable paradox is that while
> most people want companionship, they want someone who has demonstrated
> his/her ability to be independent so that the interdependency is
> voluntary, not forced.
>
> Don't settle for the first person who comes along; you're better than
> that.
>
> Mike
>
> On Thu, 5 Oct 2006, jaber37837 at cox.net wrote:
>
>> Wow, that's cool. I'm happy things worked out the way they did for you.
>>
>> That's all I've wanted since I was fourteen years old, a companion. When
>> people hear me say that, they automatically think that I want this so he 
>> can
>> do things for me, so that I'd be totally dependent etc. Actually, I want 
>> to
>> find someone who will allow me to be as independent as possible; someone 
>> who
>> has faith that I can do it. The emotional need, well that's something
>> different...I'm just so damn alone and lonely all the time. It scares me 
>> to
>> think I might be lonely and alone my whole life...I panic thinking about 
>> it.
>>
>> Anyway...it does sound like a desperate move on my part, I know, but I've
>> really got no one, and it really sucks.
>>
>> Jen
>> ----- Original Message -----
>> From: "Judy Jones" <nfbwatac at earthlink.net>
>> To: "NFBnet Blind Talk Mailing List" <blindtlk at nfbnet.org>
>> Sent: Thursday, October 05, 2006 1:32 PM
>> Subject: Re: [Blindtlk] Internet dating for the blind
>>
>>
>>> Hi, Jen,
>>>
>>> As long as you are being wise, keeping control of the geographic 
>>> location
>>> where you are going to meet, and taking precautions for your safety, 
>>> then
>>> it's worth a try.
>>>
>>> I must also tell you that my husband of 26 years and I had a telephone
>>> courtship before becoming engaged then married.  We had known each other
>>> as
>>> youngsters overseas with military parents, and gotten back together 
>>> again
>>> years later through a mutual friend.
>>>
>>> Judy
>>> ----- Original Message -----
>>> From: <jaber37837 at cox.net>
>>> To: "NFBnet Blind Talk Mailing List" <blindtlk at nfbnet.org>
>>> Sent: Thursday, October 05, 2006 9:00 AM
>>> Subject: Re: [Blindtlk] Internet dating for the blind
>>>
>>>
>>>> Hi Judy,
>>>>
>>>> Yes, I've been talking with him on the phone since the beginning of all
>>>> this, which has been a little over three weeks.
>>>>
>>>> Sometimes it can be a good thing to meet friends online. I have one 
>>>> very
>>>> good friend, an older man, who I met online. I remember when I first
>>>> started
>>>> talking to him eight years ago. I kept making excuses why I couldn't 
>>>> meet
>>>> him yet. When I moved into my apartment, I invited him over,...it was 
>>>> one
>>>> of
>>>> the best things I ever did. There was another friend I made online 
>>>> years
>>>> later that was a good choice.
>>>>
>>>> I guess maybe I shouldn't be so scared of this guy....maybe scared 
>>>> isn't
>>>> the
>>>> word, but my Grandmother started talking about all the weird stuff 
>>>> that's
>>>> been going on in the news lately. Before she said all that, I wasn't
>>>> insecure about it.
>>>>
>>>> Jen
>>>> ----- Original Message -----
>>>> From: "Judy Jones" <nfbwatac at earthlink.net>
>>>> To: "NFBnet Blind Talk Mailing List" <blindtlk at nfbnet.org>
>>>> Sent: Thursday, October 05, 2006 9:24 AM
>>>> Subject: Re: [Blindtlk] Internet dating for the blind
>>>>
>>>>
>>>>> Hi,
>>>>>
>>>>> I realize others may have a differing view from mine, but I would be
>>>>> very
>>>>> leery of internet dating.  There are too many unknown factors.  Even
>>>>> though
>>>>> it sounds like you've taken good precautions for yourself, I would 
>>>>> steer
>>>>> clear.
>>>>>
>>>>> Otherwise, it's really good and commendable of your dad to go along 
>>>>> for
>>>>> your
>>>>> first meeting--any trusted friend would be a good idea, too.  I would
>>>>> under
>>>>> any circumstances never meet alone until I was sure this person could 
>>>>> be
>>>>> trusted and didn't have any ulterior motives.
>>>>>
>>>>> Have you talked via phone before your first meeting?
>>>>>
>>>>> I also must say, that both my girls have met good friends on the
>>>>> internet.
>>>>> One was a girl that our 16-year-old met that was moving to our area 
>>>>> and
>>>>> wanted to meet some friends and find out about schools.
>>>>>
>>>>> I was very skeptical at first, but she is a delightful girl.
>>>>>
>>>>> The same thing happened again--a young man wanted to find out about
>>>>> schools
>>>>> here; his family was moving here from South Carolina.  Now, both girls
>>>>> and
>>>>> their friends have been hanging with him, and he is a total gentleman.
>>>>> His
>>>>> family is very nice, and I will be meeting with his mom soon, as she 
>>>>> is
>>>>> also
>>>>> looking for women friends here, too.
>>>>>
>>>>> Best wishes, and let us know how everything goes.
>>>>>
>>>>> Judy
>>>>> ----- Original Message -----
>>>>> From: <jaber37837 at cox.net>
>>>>> To: "BlindTalk" <blindtlk at nfbnet.org>
>>>>> Sent: Wednesday, October 04, 2006 9:46 PM
>>>>> Subject: [Blindtlk] Internet dating for the blind
>>>>>
>>>>>
>>>>>> Hi listers,
>>>>>>
>>>>>> I'm not sure if this is the proper place to discuss this, but I 
>>>>>> thought
>>>>>> I
>>>>>> would put it out there anyway.
>>>>>>
>>>>>> About a week or so ago, I had mentioned that I had met someone in New
>>>>>> York
>>>>>> who seems to be interested in me, and I have found a way to get there
>>>>>> without causing an up-roar at home (I was worried about how my 
>>>>>> parents
>>>>>> would
>>>>>> react if I just took off).
>>>>>>
>>>>>> Well, I have arranged it so that my Dad will be bringing me to meet
>>>>>> this
>>>>>> guy. Sounds ok, right? He isn't thrilled, but he understands why it
>>>>>> needs
>>>>>> to
>>>>>> be this way. I just can't help wondering if I'm wrong about him
>>>>>> somehow.
>>>>>> Of
>>>>>> course, I think this way about everybody, even perfectly safe people.
>>>>>> I've
>>>>>> done a criminal back ground check on him, nothing there except for a
>>>>>> traffic
>>>>>> violation from sixteen years ago, he sounds ok to me, but is he?
>>>>>>
>>>>>> Anyway, I could go on and on about this all night, but I won't. I 
>>>>>> just
>>>>>> don't
>>>>>> know what to think.
>>>>>>
>>>>>> I've checked everything I could think of, address, criminal 
>>>>>> background,
>>>>>> Psych profile, everything seems fine.
>>>>>>
>>>>>> I guess I just would appreciate some advice if anyone has any. I'm
>>>>>> really
>>>>>> excited about meeting him, but my paranoia is getting in the way...I
>>>>>> could
>>>>>> be worrying about nothing.
>>>>>>
>>>>>> Thanks for any input,
>>>>>>
>>>>>> Jen
>>>>>>
>>>>>> _______________________________________________
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>>>>>> blindtlk at nfbnet.org
>>>>>> http://www.nfbnet.org/mailman/listinfo/blindtlk
>>>>>>
>>>>>
>>>>> _______________________________________________
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>>>>>
>>>>
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