[Blindtlk] Internet dating for the blind

Thu Oct 5 13:12:45 CDT 2006

Jen:

I'll admit at the outset that loneliness is vastly overrated. It's hard 
to keep things in perspective when one is so lonely. I know; I've been 
there.

But consider this: you say you want a "companion" who lets you do 
things. You don't need a companion to "let" you do things; you must give 
*yourself* permission to do things and find a way to secure the skills 
you need to really do them independently. If you have those skills and, 
above all, the attitude that you can be independent so that the skills 
and attitude reinforce each other, you can, in fact, become independent 
and thus will be eminently desirable. The damnable paradox is that while 
most people want companionship, they want someone who has demonstrated 
his/her ability to be independent so that the interdependency is 
voluntary, not forced.

Don't settle for the first person who comes along; you're better than 
that.

Mike

On Thu, 5 Oct 2006, jaber37837 at cox.net wrote:

> Wow, that's cool. I'm happy things worked out the way they did for you.
>
> That's all I've wanted since I was fourteen years old, a companion. When
> people hear me say that, they automatically think that I want this so he can
> do things for me, so that I'd be totally dependent etc. Actually, I want to
> find someone who will allow me to be as independent as possible; someone who
> has faith that I can do it. The emotional need, well that's something
> different...I'm just so damn alone and lonely all the time. It scares me to
> think I might be lonely and alone my whole life...I panic thinking about it.
>
> Anyway...it does sound like a desperate move on my part, I know, but I've
> really got no one, and it really sucks.
>
> Jen
> ----- Original Message -----
> From: "Judy Jones" <nfbwatac at earthlink.net>
> To: "NFBnet Blind Talk Mailing List" <blindtlk at nfbnet.org>
> Sent: Thursday, October 05, 2006 1:32 PM
> Subject: Re: [Blindtlk] Internet dating for the blind
>
>
>> Hi, Jen,
>>
>> As long as you are being wise, keeping control of the geographic location
>> where you are going to meet, and taking precautions for your safety, then
>> it's worth a try.
>>
>> I must also tell you that my husband of 26 years and I had a telephone
>> courtship before becoming engaged then married.  We had known each other
>> as
>> youngsters overseas with military parents, and gotten back together again
>> years later through a mutual friend.
>>
>> Judy
>> ----- Original Message -----
>> From: <jaber37837 at cox.net>
>> To: "NFBnet Blind Talk Mailing List" <blindtlk at nfbnet.org>
>> Sent: Thursday, October 05, 2006 9:00 AM
>> Subject: Re: [Blindtlk] Internet dating for the blind
>>
>>
>>> Hi Judy,
>>>
>>> Yes, I've been talking with him on the phone since the beginning of all
>>> this, which has been a little over three weeks.
>>>
>>> Sometimes it can be a good thing to meet friends online. I have one very
>>> good friend, an older man, who I met online. I remember when I first
>>> started
>>> talking to him eight years ago. I kept making excuses why I couldn't meet
>>> him yet. When I moved into my apartment, I invited him over,...it was one
>>> of
>>> the best things I ever did. There was another friend I made online years
>>> later that was a good choice.
>>>
>>> I guess maybe I shouldn't be so scared of this guy....maybe scared isn't
>>> the
>>> word, but my Grandmother started talking about all the weird stuff that's
>>> been going on in the news lately. Before she said all that, I wasn't
>>> insecure about it.
>>>
>>> Jen
>>> ----- Original Message -----
>>> From: "Judy Jones" <nfbwatac at earthlink.net>
>>> To: "NFBnet Blind Talk Mailing List" <blindtlk at nfbnet.org>
>>> Sent: Thursday, October 05, 2006 9:24 AM
>>> Subject: Re: [Blindtlk] Internet dating for the blind
>>>
>>>
>>>> Hi,
>>>>
>>>> I realize others may have a differing view from mine, but I would be
>>>> very
>>>> leery of internet dating.  There are too many unknown factors.  Even
>>>> though
>>>> it sounds like you've taken good precautions for yourself, I would steer
>>>> clear.
>>>>
>>>> Otherwise, it's really good and commendable of your dad to go along for
>>>> your
>>>> first meeting--any trusted friend would be a good idea, too.  I would
>>>> under
>>>> any circumstances never meet alone until I was sure this person could be
>>>> trusted and didn't have any ulterior motives.
>>>>
>>>> Have you talked via phone before your first meeting?
>>>>
>>>> I also must say, that both my girls have met good friends on the
>>>> internet.
>>>> One was a girl that our 16-year-old met that was moving to our area and
>>>> wanted to meet some friends and find out about schools.
>>>>
>>>> I was very skeptical at first, but she is a delightful girl.
>>>>
>>>> The same thing happened again--a young man wanted to find out about
>>>> schools
>>>> here; his family was moving here from South Carolina.  Now, both girls
>>>> and
>>>> their friends have been hanging with him, and he is a total gentleman.
>>>> His
>>>> family is very nice, and I will be meeting with his mom soon, as she is
>>>> also
>>>> looking for women friends here, too.
>>>>
>>>> Best wishes, and let us know how everything goes.
>>>>
>>>> Judy
>>>> ----- Original Message -----
>>>> From: <jaber37837 at cox.net>
>>>> To: "BlindTalk" <blindtlk at nfbnet.org>
>>>> Sent: Wednesday, October 04, 2006 9:46 PM
>>>> Subject: [Blindtlk] Internet dating for the blind
>>>>
>>>>
>>>>> Hi listers,
>>>>>
>>>>> I'm not sure if this is the proper place to discuss this, but I thought
>>>>> I
>>>>> would put it out there anyway.
>>>>>
>>>>> About a week or so ago, I had mentioned that I had met someone in New
>>>>> York
>>>>> who seems to be interested in me, and I have found a way to get there
>>>>> without causing an up-roar at home (I was worried about how my parents
>>>>> would
>>>>> react if I just took off).
>>>>>
>>>>> Well, I have arranged it so that my Dad will be bringing me to meet
>>>>> this
>>>>> guy. Sounds ok, right? He isn't thrilled, but he understands why it
>>>>> needs
>>>>> to
>>>>> be this way. I just can't help wondering if I'm wrong about him
>>>>> somehow.
>>>>> Of
>>>>> course, I think this way about everybody, even perfectly safe people.
>>>>> I've
>>>>> done a criminal back ground check on him, nothing there except for a
>>>>> traffic
>>>>> violation from sixteen years ago, he sounds ok to me, but is he?
>>>>>
>>>>> Anyway, I could go on and on about this all night, but I won't. I just
>>>>> don't
>>>>> know what to think.
>>>>>
>>>>> I've checked everything I could think of, address, criminal background,
>>>>> Psych profile, everything seems fine.
>>>>>
>>>>> I guess I just would appreciate some advice if anyone has any. I'm
>>>>> really
>>>>> excited about meeting him, but my paranoia is getting in the way...I
>>>>> could
>>>>> be worrying about nothing.
>>>>>
>>>>> Thanks for any input,
>>>>>
>>>>> Jen
>>>>>
>>>>> _______________________________________________
>>>>> blindtlk mailing list
>>>>> blindtlk at nfbnet.org
>>>>> http://www.nfbnet.org/mailman/listinfo/blindtlk
>>>>>
>>>>
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