[Blind-rollers] Total independence

Fri Aug 31 00:35:13 CDT 2007

The only people I know who could help me are state workers, and they don't 
think I'm ready yet. It sometimes like a no win situation, but I need to 
save up money, so it's ok for now.

Jen
----- Original Message ----- 
From: "dmgina" <dmgina at qwest.net>
To: "Blind wheelchair users list" <blind-rollers at nfbnet.org>
Sent: Friday, August 31, 2007 12:28 AM
Subject: Re: [Blind-rollers] Total independence

> You go girl.
> Keep up the good work.
> Do you know anyone in the area where you wish to go that could help you 
> get
> into an apartment?
> Wishing you the best.
>
> --Dar
> www.mypowermall.com/biz/home/5779
> Every Saint has a past
> Every Sinner has a future
>
> ----- Original Message ----- 
> From: "Jennifer Aberdeen" <freespirit328 at gmail.com>
> To: "Blind wheelchair users list" <blind-rollers at nfbnet.org>
> Sent: Thursday, August 30, 2007 3:49 PM
> Subject: Re: [Blind-rollers] Total independence
>
>
>> Hi Dar,
>>
>> I guess the Carroll Center could find me a place if I wanted to move to
>> Massachusetts, but I want to stay in Rhode Island for now. I don't know
>> anyone in MA except for my sister, and I wouldn't have any way to visit 
>> my
>> friends in Rhode Island if I moved to MA. I want to move to East
>> Providence
>> though, which is about seventeen miles south from where I live now.
>>
>> I understand my Grandmother is trying to be helpful, but I do think she
>> could say something like, "Well, give it a try." instead of "Well, you
>> can't
>> be independent in your condition."
>>
>> One thing I've always believed is that you're only as disabled as you let
>> yourself be. Now I know that there will always be things I will need help
>> with, blind or not, however, when people see me, they immediately label 
>> me
>> as severely disabled, and I don't see myself that way. I can dress 
>> myself,
>> take care of my personal needs transfer in and out of my chair....and I
>> can
>> do all this without help. In my own apartment I will be able to do the
>> dishes and clean etc all without help, so I don't see myself as severely
>> disabled. The way I see it is the more I can do for myself, the more the
>> severity of the disability is diminished.
>>
>> Jen
>> ----- Original Message ----- 
>> From: "dmgina" <dmgina at qwest.net>
>> To: "Blind wheelchair users list" <blind-rollers at nfbnet.org>
>> Sent: Thursday, August 30, 2007 5:08 PM
>> Subject: Re: [Blind-rollers] Total independence
>>
>>
>>> Boy you are in a tough set up.
>>> Yes cooking can be done.
>>> I am a total and still living loll.
>>> Not in a chair, but cooking can be done.
>>> Can the Carol Center help you find a place?
>>> Parents need to see you fall then get back up.
>>> I say this in a positive way.
>>> So if you need help they are still here to help.
>>> But can encourage you to strive.
>>> When they are gone, then you are suddenly on your own, and this is more
>>> of
>>> a
>>> stress for everyone.
>>> Wishing you the best.
>>>
>>> --Dar
>>> www.mypowermall.com/biz/home/5779
>>> Every Saint has a past
>>> Every Sinner has a future
>>>
>>> ----- Original Message ----- 
>>> From: "Jennifer Aberdeen" <freespirit328 at gmail.com>
>>> To: "Blind wheelchair users list" <blind-rollers at nfbnet.org>
>>> Sent: Thursday, August 30, 2007 9:52 AM
>>> Subject: Re: [Blind-rollers] Total independence
>>>
>>>
>>>> Hi Laura,
>>>>
>>>> Well, I can definitely relate to the cooking thing. My parents and
>>>> Grandmother don't think I will be able to cook. Even when I had some
>>>> vision
>>>> in one eye they wouldn't allow me to cook even though I had taken a
>>>> cooking
>>>> class in high school. Recently I stayed at The Carroll Center in
>>>> Massachusetts for a two week evaluation and did some cooking. I must
>>>> admit
>>>> that I don't like using the stove; I was introduced to a nifty little
>>>> portable burner called an induction cooktop, which is much easier to 
>>>> use
>>>> and
>>>> rids any worry of setting fire because it turns itself off 
>>>> automatically
>>>> after the food is finished cooking. I told my family that it was an
>>>> alternative, but there will be things that will need to be cooked. As 
>>>> it
>>>> is
>>>> right now, my parents prepare my food for me, and I don't like that.
>>>> Granted
>>>> my kitchen is not wheelchair accessible, which is part of my argument 
>>>> as
>>>> to
>>>> why it would be a good idea for me to have my own apartment.
>>>>
>>>> Getting my own apartment is another thing my parents are against,
>>>> although
>>>> my Grandmother is all for it. My parents have it in their minds that I
>>>> will
>>>> move in with my half sister, someone I barely know, when they're no
>>>> longer
>>>> here. I told them that wasn't going to happen. I barely know my half
>>>> sister,
>>>> and I am not moving to Brockton Massachusetts, one of the most 
>>>> dangerous
>>>> places to live, according to a list in a magazine. I have been trying 
>>>> to
>>>> prepare for independent living for a while, but I don't seem to be
>>>> getting
>>>> anywhere. The people at the Carroll Center think that I am very capable
>>>> of
>>>> living independently with some help from a home maker, and I accept
>>>> that,
>>>> however, I refuse to accept that I need someone with me everywhere I 
>>>> go.
>>>> I
>>>> am supposed to be getting an attendant to help me with shopping etc, 
>>>> and
>>>> I'm
>>>> under the impression that at some point, she won't have to be attached
>>>> to
>>>> my
>>>> hip. I would like to be able to meet friends for lunch and things like
>>>> that,
>>>> but I don't want another person making herself part of the agreement. I
>>>> would like it to be this way; she will drive me where I want to go and
>>>> then
>>>> let me go on my own. I don't care if she's sticking around, I just 
>>>> don't
>>>> want her as an attachment to myself.
>>>>
>>>> Jen
>>>> ----- Original Message ----- 
>>>> From: "Laura Eaves" <leaves1 at carolina.rr.com>
>>>> To: "Blind wheelchair users list" <blind-rollers at nfbnet.org>
>>>> Sent: Thursday, August 30, 2007 10:10 AM
>>>> Subject: Re: [Blind-rollers] Total independence
>>>>
>>>>
>>>>> Hi Jen --
>>>>> I have been wondering the same thing.  I know a disabled person has to
>>>>> choose his/her battles carefully as there are some things that will
>>>>> always
>>>>> require assistance of some kind, human or electronic or mechanical --
>>>>> but
>>>>> I
>>>>> think the person has to determine that for him/herself and not have an
>>>>> able
>>>>> bodied person try and dictate what needs to be done, primarily because
>>>>> they
>>>>> can't always imagine what it would be like to be in that situation, or
>>>>> would
>>>>> think that the only solution would be the easiest in their mind.
>>>>>
>>>>> I have been having this little battle with my mother, who who believes
>>>>> that
>>>>> in my current state I ould never be able to be independent again, and
>>>>> she
>>>>> makes some compelling arguments, and I know I depend on her probably
>>>>> over-much.  But on the other hand she refuses to help me become more
>>>>> independent by showing me how to set the dials on the washing machine
>>>>> (she
>>>>> insists on doing all the laundry) and she thinks that because of the
>>>>> wheelchair in addition to my vision, I should never again try to cook.
>>>>> (But
>>>>> again, when I was young, I had to go away to school and take a cooking
>>>>> class
>>>>> myself to learn to cook, as she always thought I would burn myself on
>>>>> the
>>>>> oven at home...)
>>>>>
>>>>> She always also rminds me of all that needs to be done for me as she
>>>>> indeed
>>>>> does "pick up the slack" as she puts it quite a lot.  I have gotten
>>>>> quite
>>>>> a
>>>>> bit more dependent than I would like to be, but that is a 2-way 
>>>>> street.
>>>>>
>>>>> The clincher for me is that there is not a satisfactory plan B in the
>>>>> even
>>>>> she dies (she is a healthy 83, but her health is failing in little 
>>>>> ways
>>>>> even
>>>>> now), and I really want to be prepared for anything once she is no
>>>>> longer
>>>>> around. I think at some point, she will cease to be able-bodied and we
>>>>> may
>>>>> both be dependent on outside assistance.  Don't get me wrong -- Mom 
>>>>> and
>>>>> I
>>>>> have always been a team, albeit we don't agree on many things -- but
>>>>> back
>>>>> in
>>>>> college I went out of my way to live on my own for 8 years, and half 
>>>>> of
>>>>> that
>>>>> time I was chair bound.
>>>>> The times I had to hire a live-in aide were the worst.  And that might
>>>>> well
>>>>> be what it will take again as time goes on -- or as Mom is thinking, I
>>>>> should be in a hospital -- which bothers me the most.
>>>>>
>>>>> Anyway, I look forward to hearing your thoughts on the matter.
>>>>> I would like to live at home with roommates and depend on hired
>>>>> assistance
>>>>> if that is possible. We are moving soon and so I have no idea what we
>>>>> will
>>>>> find.
>>>>>
>>>>> Waiting eagerly for your thoughts...
>>>>> Have a good day!
>>>>> --le
>>>>>
>>>>>
>>>>> ----- Original Message ----- 
>>>>> From: "Jennifer Aberdeen" <freespirit328 at gmail.com>
>>>>> To: "Blind wheelchair users list" <blind-rollers at nfbnet.org>
>>>>> Sent: Wednesday, August 29, 2007 9:59 PM
>>>>> Subject: [Blind-rollers] Total independence
>>>>>
>>>>>
>>>>> Hi list,
>>>>>
>>>>> My Grandmother and I were just having a discussion about my mobility
>>>>> expectations being a blind wheelchair user. She doesn't think I could
>>>>> ever
>>>>> be independent being in my situation, and I truly believe that while I
>>>>> may
>>>>> not be able to achieve total independence, I can strive to be as
>>>>> independent
>>>>> as possible. I keep trying to tell her that it can be done if only my
>>>>> mobility instructor would work on a route with me for more than one
>>>>> day...perhaps once or twice a week for a couple months would work. I
>>>>> would
>>>>> like to be able to take a stroll down the street without having 
>>>>> someone
>>>>> attached to my hip all the time. I know there are some situations 
>>>>> where
>>>>> it
>>>>> would be necessary to have someone with me, but I don't believe I have
>>>>> to
>>>>> submit to a life of dependence. The thought of accepting that makes me
>>>>> very
>>>>> depressed. I thought maybe I would start a discussion about this and
>>>>> hear
>>>>> your thoughts on this topic.
>>>>>
>>>>> Jen
>>>>>
>>>>> _______________________________________________
>>>>> Blind-rollers mailing list
>>>>> Blind-rollers at nfbnet.org
>>>>> http://www.nfbnet.org/mailman/listinfo/blind-rollers
>>>>>
>>>>> _______________________________________________
>>>>> Blind-rollers mailing list
>>>>> Blind-rollers at nfbnet.org
>>>>> http://www.nfbnet.org/mailman/listinfo/blind-rollers
>>>>
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