[Blind-rollers] Total independence

Thu Aug 30 20:14:06 CDT 2007

Good for you Jen! I think you'll never know till you try how it will go. 
Good luck and keep us posted if and when you go this route.
--le

----- Original Message ----- 
From: "Jennifer Aberdeen" <freespirit328 at gmail.com>
To: "Blind wheelchair users list" <blind-rollers at nfbnet.org>
Sent: Thursday, August 30, 2007 5:49 PM
Subject: Re: [Blind-rollers] Total independence

Hi Dar,

I guess the Carroll Center could find me a place if I wanted to move to
Massachusetts, but I want to stay in Rhode Island for now. I don't know
anyone in MA except for my sister, and I wouldn't have any way to visit my
friends in Rhode Island if I moved to MA. I want to move to East Providence
though, which is about seventeen miles south from where I live now.

I understand my Grandmother is trying to be helpful, but I do think she
could say something like, "Well, give it a try." instead of "Well, you can't
be independent in your condition."

One thing I've always believed is that you're only as disabled as you let
yourself be. Now I know that there will always be things I will need help
with, blind or not, however, when people see me, they immediately label me
as severely disabled, and I don't see myself that way. I can dress myself,
take care of my personal needs transfer in and out of my chair....and I can
do all this without help. In my own apartment I will be able to do the
dishes and clean etc all without help, so I don't see myself as severely
disabled. The way I see it is the more I can do for myself, the more the
severity of the disability is diminished.

Jen
----- Original Message ----- 
From: "dmgina" <dmgina at qwest.net>
To: "Blind wheelchair users list" <blind-rollers at nfbnet.org>
Sent: Thursday, August 30, 2007 5:08 PM
Subject: Re: [Blind-rollers] Total independence

> Boy you are in a tough set up.
> Yes cooking can be done.
> I am a total and still living loll.
> Not in a chair, but cooking can be done.
> Can the Carol Center help you find a place?
> Parents need to see you fall then get back up.
> I say this in a positive way.
> So if you need help they are still here to help.
> But can encourage you to strive.
> When they are gone, then you are suddenly on your own, and this is more of
> a
> stress for everyone.
> Wishing you the best.
>
> --Dar
> www.mypowermall.com/biz/home/5779
> Every Saint has a past
> Every Sinner has a future
>
> ----- Original Message ----- 
> From: "Jennifer Aberdeen" <freespirit328 at gmail.com>
> To: "Blind wheelchair users list" <blind-rollers at nfbnet.org>
> Sent: Thursday, August 30, 2007 9:52 AM
> Subject: Re: [Blind-rollers] Total independence
>
>
>> Hi Laura,
>>
>> Well, I can definitely relate to the cooking thing. My parents and
>> Grandmother don't think I will be able to cook. Even when I had some
>> vision
>> in one eye they wouldn't allow me to cook even though I had taken a
>> cooking
>> class in high school. Recently I stayed at The Carroll Center in
>> Massachusetts for a two week evaluation and did some cooking. I must
>> admit
>> that I don't like using the stove; I was introduced to a nifty little
>> portable burner called an induction cooktop, which is much easier to use
>> and
>> rids any worry of setting fire because it turns itself off automatically
>> after the food is finished cooking. I told my family that it was an
>> alternative, but there will be things that will need to be cooked. As it
>> is
>> right now, my parents prepare my food for me, and I don't like that.
>> Granted
>> my kitchen is not wheelchair accessible, which is part of my argument as
>> to
>> why it would be a good idea for me to have my own apartment.
>>
>> Getting my own apartment is another thing my parents are against,
>> although
>> my Grandmother is all for it. My parents have it in their minds that I
>> will
>> move in with my half sister, someone I barely know, when they're no
>> longer
>> here. I told them that wasn't going to happen. I barely know my half
>> sister,
>> and I am not moving to Brockton Massachusetts, one of the most dangerous
>> places to live, according to a list in a magazine. I have been trying to
>> prepare for independent living for a while, but I don't seem to be
>> getting
>> anywhere. The people at the Carroll Center think that I am very capable
>> of
>> living independently with some help from a home maker, and I accept that,
>> however, I refuse to accept that I need someone with me everywhere I go.
>> I
>> am supposed to be getting an attendant to help me with shopping etc, and
>> I'm
>> under the impression that at some point, she won't have to be attached to
>> my
>> hip. I would like to be able to meet friends for lunch and things like
>> that,
>> but I don't want another person making herself part of the agreement. I
>> would like it to be this way; she will drive me where I want to go and
>> then
>> let me go on my own. I don't care if she's sticking around, I just don't
>> want her as an attachment to myself.
>>
>> Jen
>> ----- Original Message ----- 
>> From: "Laura Eaves" <leaves1 at carolina.rr.com>
>> To: "Blind wheelchair users list" <blind-rollers at nfbnet.org>
>> Sent: Thursday, August 30, 2007 10:10 AM
>> Subject: Re: [Blind-rollers] Total independence
>>
>>
>>> Hi Jen --
>>> I have been wondering the same thing.  I know a disabled person has to
>>> choose his/her battles carefully as there are some things that will
>>> always
>>> require assistance of some kind, human or electronic or mechanical --
>>> but
>>> I
>>> think the person has to determine that for him/herself and not have an
>>> able
>>> bodied person try and dictate what needs to be done, primarily because
>>> they
>>> can't always imagine what it would be like to be in that situation, or
>>> would
>>> think that the only solution would be the easiest in their mind.
>>>
>>> I have been having this little battle with my mother, who who believes
>>> that
>>> in my current state I ould never be able to be independent again, and
>>> she
>>> makes some compelling arguments, and I know I depend on her probably
>>> over-much.  But on the other hand she refuses to help me become more
>>> independent by showing me how to set the dials on the washing machine
>>> (she
>>> insists on doing all the laundry) and she thinks that because of the
>>> wheelchair in addition to my vision, I should never again try to cook.
>>> (But
>>> again, when I was young, I had to go away to school and take a cooking
>>> class
>>> myself to learn to cook, as she always thought I would burn myself on
>>> the
>>> oven at home...)
>>>
>>> She always also rminds me of all that needs to be done for me as she
>>> indeed
>>> does "pick up the slack" as she puts it quite a lot.  I have gotten
>>> quite
>>> a
>>> bit more dependent than I would like to be, but that is a 2-way street.
>>>
>>> The clincher for me is that there is not a satisfactory plan B in the
>>> even
>>> she dies (she is a healthy 83, but her health is failing in little ways
>>> even
>>> now), and I really want to be prepared for anything once she is no
>>> longer
>>> around. I think at some point, she will cease to be able-bodied and we
>>> may
>>> both be dependent on outside assistance.  Don't get me wrong -- Mom and
>>> I
>>> have always been a team, albeit we don't agree on many things -- but
>>> back
>>> in
>>> college I went out of my way to live on my own for 8 years, and half of
>>> that
>>> time I was chair bound.
>>> The times I had to hire a live-in aide were the worst.  And that might
>>> well
>>> be what it will take again as time goes on -- or as Mom is thinking, I
>>> should be in a hospital -- which bothers me the most.
>>>
>>> Anyway, I look forward to hearing your thoughts on the matter.
>>> I would like to live at home with roommates and depend on hired
>>> assistance
>>> if that is possible. We are moving soon and so I have no idea what we
>>> will
>>> find.
>>>
>>> Waiting eagerly for your thoughts...
>>> Have a good day!
>>> --le
>>>
>>>
>>> ----- Original Message ----- 
>>> From: "Jennifer Aberdeen" <freespirit328 at gmail.com>
>>> To: "Blind wheelchair users list" <blind-rollers at nfbnet.org>
>>> Sent: Wednesday, August 29, 2007 9:59 PM
>>> Subject: [Blind-rollers] Total independence
>>>
>>>
>>> Hi list,
>>>
>>> My Grandmother and I were just having a discussion about my mobility
>>> expectations being a blind wheelchair user. She doesn't think I could
>>> ever
>>> be independent being in my situation, and I truly believe that while I
>>> may
>>> not be able to achieve total independence, I can strive to be as
>>> independent
>>> as possible. I keep trying to tell her that it can be done if only my
>>> mobility instructor would work on a route with me for more than one
>>> day...perhaps once or twice a week for a couple months would work. I
>>> would
>>> like to be able to take a stroll down the street without having someone
>>> attached to my hip all the time. I know there are some situations where
>>> it
>>> would be necessary to have someone with me, but I don't believe I have
>>> to
>>> submit to a life of dependence. The thought of accepting that makes me
>>> very
>>> depressed. I thought maybe I would start a discussion about this and
>>> hear
>>> your thoughts on this topic.
>>>
>>> Jen
>>>
>>> _______________________________________________
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>>
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>>
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