[Arizona-students] Those Infamous "Helpful" People

[Arielle Silverman]

Hi, students. Recently there has been a discussion on the National Association of Blind Students listserv about interactions between the blind and the sighted, responding to a video clip that was circulated about "what to do when you meet a blind person". Two blind students gave examples of frustrating interactions that they had with those infamous "well-intentioned" strangers. I am sure that all of you have stories like these. Here they are:

From Melanie,

Ronit,
I thought that it had some excellent "common sense" things that people
should already know when meeting a blind person.  For instance, I would
think it would be common sense to know that it is not okay to just go up to
a blind person and grab them and take them where you *think* they need to
go.  To me this is a no brainer, but just yesterday I was proven wrong.  I
was downtown trying to find a particular hospital and I got a bit turned
around so I asked a woman walking by if she could tell me how to get where I
needed to go.  She grabbed my hand and began walking and telling me that she
would take me there.  I politely but firmly told her that I could get there
myself and it would be a big help if she could tell me exactly where it was.
She seemed offended that I would not let her "walk" me there.  Another thing
that I think should be a no brainer to sighted people is that most of us are
not deaf and we can speak for ourselves.  But, I've been proven wrong on
that no brainer too.  I just hate that there has to be a video to tell
people how to treat me.   I mean, why don't people just treat blind folks
the way they treat sighted people.  If a sighted person was standing on a
sidewalk looking lost it would be outrageous to go up to them, take their
hand and begin walking them somewhere.

When I entered the hospital and went to the information desk to ask how to
find a certain room number the lady didn't answer me, instead she asked
someone there with her to take me to a chair and she would call for someone
to take me to the room.  Again, I politely told her that I could find it
myself if she could tell me how to get there.  She then asked me if I could
see at all, to which I raised my cane a bit and said "That's why I have
this."

Then, as if it wasn't bad enough, I was in the surgery waiting area later on
and the nurse in the room checking on the patients for their families, gave
me a pager and told me that when they had information for me she would page
me she placed my hands on the pager and told me that there was a little clip
and asked if she could clip it on my purse.  Then she said "Will you be able
to hear the beeping, it's pretty loud?"  A while later a sighted friend came
to wait with me and the nurse said to her that she was so glad that my
friend came to help me out.

By the end of the day I was so tired of well meaning, but ignorant people
that I could just vomit.  I found the video clip earlier today and it was
kind of the icing on the cake as they say.

Sorry for the long vent!
Melanie



From Wade:
Wow! Sounds like a not so good day. Been there and done that before. Now
here's a little clip from the "day in the life of Wade Hemmelrick." I had a
great day this morning going to my barber, and then enjoyed lunch at the
Hardee's down the block. I walked back up the street to wait for my bus,
which so happens to stop right at my barber's place. It was almost time for
the bus to show up when somebody from my church comes up to me, having the
nerve to play that stupid guessing game of "Do you remember me? I'm somebody
from your past." Then he proceeds to ask (and then insist) that I need a
ride downtown since he was headed that way. True, I should have been more
grateful to have accepted his offer, but it was too nice of a day, and that
I was soon about to catch the bus right on that location. Head downtown; and
walk home myself. However, he then gets to whining about having to wait for
three red lights just to drive around the block so he could "do his good
deed for the day" as he kept insisting. Well, (and apologies if his little
guilt trip was not perceived to be  legitimate) as soon as the bus pulled
up, this guy had no choice but to go about his business while wondering to
himself why he could not be such a help. *sighs* Anyway, enough of my
ranting for now.--WH

    In starting this discussion, I do not intend to accentuate our own negativity about sighted people, though that might be tempting. My real goal is to brainstorm ways that ,as students, we can reduce misunderstandings between the blind and the sighted and find ways to be treated normally without offending these generous souls. So I invite stories and commiserations, but I would also like to hear about what does and does not work for blind people when interacting with the sighted. When is it appropriate to accept unsolicited assistance? How have you succeeded in declining such generosities without causing offense? And how do we convince our sighted peers and acquaintances to treat us just like anyone else?

Arielle Silverman
-------------- next part --------------
Hi, students. Recently there has been a discussion on the National Association of Blind Students listserv about interactions between the blind and the sighted, responding to a video clip that was circulated about "what to do when you meet a blind person". Two blind students gave examples of frustrating interactions that they had with those infamous "well-intentioned" strangers. I am sure that all of you have stories like these. Here they are:
 
From Melanie,
 
Ronit,
I thought that it had some excellent "common sense" things that people
should already know when meeting a blind person.  For instance, I would
think it would be common sense to know that it is not okay to just go up to
a blind person and grab them and take them where you *think* they need to
go.  To me this is a no brainer, but just yesterday I was proven wrong.  I
was downtown trying to find a particular hospital and I got a bit turned
around so I asked a woman walking by if she could tell me how to get where I
needed to go.  She grabbed my hand and began walking and telling me that she
would take me there.  I politely but firmly told her that I could get there
myself and it would be a big help if she could tell me exactly where it was.
She seemed offended that I would not let her "walk" me there.  Another thing
that I think should be a no brainer to sighted people is that most of us are
not deaf and we can speak for ourselves.  But, I've been proven wrong on
that no brainer too.  I just hate that there has to be a video to tell
people how to treat me.   I mean, why don't people just treat blind folks
the way they treat sighted people.  If a sighted person was standing on a
sidewalk looking lost it would be outrageous to go up to them, take their
hand and begin walking them somewhere.
 
When I entered the hospital and went to the information desk to ask how to
find a certain room number the lady didn't answer me, instead she asked
someone there with her to take me to a chair and she would call for someone
to take me to the room.  Again, I politely told her that I could find it
myself if she could tell me how to get there.  She then asked me if I could
see at all, to which I raised my cane a bit and said "That's why I have
this."
 
Then, as if it wasn't bad enough, I was in the surgery waiting area later on
and the nurse in the room checking on the patients for their families, gave
me a pager and told me that when they had information for me she would page
me she placed my hands on the pager and told me that there was a little clip
and asked if she could clip it on my purse.  Then she said "Will you be able
to hear the beeping, it's pretty loud?"  A while later a sighted friend came
to wait with me and the nurse said to her that she was so glad that my
friend came to help me out.
 
By the end of the day I was so tired of well meaning, but ignorant people
that I could just vomit.  I found the video clip earlier today and it was
kind of the icing on the cake as they say.
 
Sorry for the long vent!
Melanie
 
 
 
From Wade:
Wow! Sounds like a not so good day. Been there and done that before. Now
here's a little clip from the "day in the life of Wade Hemmelrick." I had a
great day this morning going to my barber, and then enjoyed lunch at the
Hardee's down the block. I walked back up the street to wait for my bus,
which so happens to stop right at my barber's place. It was almost time for
the bus to show up when somebody from my church comes up to me, having the
nerve to play that stupid guessing game of "Do you remember me? I'm somebody
from your past." Then he proceeds to ask (and then insist) that I need a
ride downtown since he was headed that way. True, I should have been more
grateful to have accepted his offer, but it was too nice of a day, and that
I was soon about to catch the bus right on that location. Head downtown; and
walk home myself. However, he then gets to whining about having to wait for
three red lights just to drive around the block so he could "do his good
deed for the day" as he kept insisting. Well, (and apologies if his little
guilt trip was not perceived to be  legitimate) as soon as the bus pulled
up, this guy had no choice but to go about his business while wondering to
himself why he could not be such a help. *sighs* Anyway, enough of my
ranting for now.--WH
 
    In starting this discussion, I do not intend to accentuate our own negativity about sighted people, though that might be tempting. My real goal is to brainstorm ways that ,as students, we can reduce misunderstandings between the blind and the sighted and find ways to be treated normally without offending these generous souls. So I invite stories and commiserations, but I would also like to hear about what does and does not work for blind people when interacting with the sighted. When is it appropriate to accept unsolicited assistance? How have you succeeded in declining such generosities without causing offense? And how do we convince our sighted peers and acquaintances to treat us just like anyone else?
 
Arielle Silverman