
1994 RAH Holiday Humor Gift Giving Guide
by Dave Bealer

Since this will be RAH's final holiday issue, I thought we should do
a serious gift giving guide for a change.  Everyone needs to laugh,
especially these days.  Humorous greeting cards are the only kind I
ever buy and give.  Humorous gifts also work well, especially as
secondary gifts, stocking stuffers, etc.  The following items have
been selected for their silly qualities.

Humorous Videos:
  - Motion Pictures: (There is little need to tell RAH readers about
    the modern classic comedies like the Monty Python movies or the
    Airplane movies.  The following are some lesser known comedies -
    lesser known, but good nonetheless.)

    = My favorite holiday movie was directed by Frank Capra, but it
      isn't the sickening sweet _It's A Wonderful Life_.  Nope, every
      time a bell rings, Dave loses his lunch.  The movie in question
      is Capra's final film, _Pocketful Of Miracles_, a 1961 hit
      starring Glenn Ford, Bette Davis, and Hope Lange.  Set in post-
      Prohibition New York, this tough but sentimental comedy is
      about Apple Annie (Davis), a Broadway panhandler whose daughter 
      was raised in Europe.  Said daughter is now headed for New York
      with the man she intends to marry and his father, a Spanish
      count.  Annie needs to convince them that she is the socialite
      she claimed to be in letters to her daughter.  Just when things
      look darkest for Annie, she is saved by her best customer, a
      superstitious ex-bootlegger named Dave "The Dude" (Ford).  The
      acting is good overall, but the show is stolen by Peter Falk
      with his Oscar-nominated performance as the cynical Joy Boy.
      _Pocketful Of Miracles_  1961, Color, 2:17  MGM/UA Home Video

    = _Father Goose_ - Walter Eckland (Cary Grant) is an American
      beach bum drifting around the South Pacific who gets black-
      mailed into the British Coast Watching service at the beginning
      of World War II.  Just as Eckland is coming to terms with his
      situation, his island retreat is invaded by seven schoolgirls
      and their French guardian (Leslie Caron).  Cary Grant is at his
      comic best in this film.  The supporting cast includes Trevor
      Howard.  Republic Pictures, 1964.  Color, 1:55
      
    = _The Front Page_ - Chicago, 1929.  Convicted cop-killer Earl
      Williams is being executed tomorrow.  The story is covered by
      ace reporter Hildy Johnson (Jack Lemmon) and his editor, Walter
      Burns (Walter Matthau).  Yet another remake of an old play by
      Ben Hecht and Charles McArthur, this version was written and
      directed by Billy Wilder.  The Lemmon/Matthau pairing is
      magical as always and Carol Burnett gives a moving serious
      performance as Williams' girlfriend, hooker Molly Malloy.  The
      great ensemble cast includes Susan Sarandon, Vincent Gardenia,
      and Charles Durning.  Universal Pictures, 1974.  Color, 1:45

    = _Kentucky Fried Movie_ - the big screen debut of the wacky
      Zucker/Abrahams team that would go on to make the Airplane
      movies and Police Squad.  A looney collection of take-offs on
      television and movie legends and standards.  Raunchy and not
      exactly a family film, the only thing wrong with this thing is
      that it's too short.  Best Films & Video, 1979.  Color, 1:24

    = _Those Magnificent Men And Their Flying Machines_ - a humorous
      rendering of the aerial insanity surrounding a 1910 London to
      Paris air race.  Featuring Stuart Whitman, Sarah Miles, James 
      Fox, Terry Thomas, Robert Morley, and Benny Hill.  Color, 2:10

  - British Comedy: (Worthy of its own section in most video stores
    today, the British Comedy Invasion is in full swing.  Monty
    Python led the first wave in the 1970s, and their sketches are
    almost cliche now.  Here are the best alternative series
    available today.)  All are on BBC Video, distributed in the USA
    by CBS Fox Video.

    = Fawlty Towers - starring John Cleese as Basil Fawlty, the
      proprietor of Fawlty Towers, a Torquay hotel.  Joining in the
      insanity are Basil's wife Sybil (Prunella Scales), waitress/
      maid Polly (Connie Booth), and Spanish waiter/porter Manuel
      (Andrew Sachs).  Written by husband and wife team of John
      Cleese and Connie Booth, Fawlty Towers is sheer comic genius.
      The episode "Communications Problems" may be the funniest
      half-hour in the history of television comedy.  Twelve episodes
      on four video cassettes.

    = Blackadder - in actuality four different series with similar
      characters in different situations.  The only two characters
      common to all four series are Edmund Blackadder (Rowan
      Atkinson), and Baldrick (Tony Robinson).  Each series is six 
      episodes on two video cassettes.
      > The Blackadder I - a little bit of alternate history.  Prince
        Edmund is the Duke of Edinburgh, second son of King Richard
	IV (Brian Blessed).  Baldrick is Edmund's dogsbody, and Tim
	McInnerny is Lord Percy, Edmund's companion.  Also featured
	are Elspet Gray as the Queen and Robert East as Harry, Prince
	of Wales.  This Edmund is the nastiest of the Blackadders.
      > Blackadder II - The slimy Edmund takes a turn as Lord 
        Blackadder, a fop in the court of the mad Queen Elizabeth
	(Miranda Richardson).  Lord Percy is back, this time as the
	heir to the Duchy of Northumberland.  Also featured are
	Stephen Fry as Lord Melchitt, the Queen's chamberlain, and
	Patsy Byrne as Nursie. 
      > Blackadder III - A slight let down for the Blackadder clan.
        Edmund is butler to Prince George (Hugh Laurie), the idiot
	son of the mad King George III.
      > Blackadder IV - 1917, the trenches of World War I.  Captain
        Edmund Blackadder spends most of his time trying to figure
	out how to get home to safety.  Baldrick is Blackadder's
	valet, and Hugh Laurie is George, a Lieutenant under
	Blackadder's command.  Stephen Fry is General Melchett, and
	Tim McInnerny is Captain Darling, the general's aide.
      > Blackadder's Christmas Carol - this 1991 special offers a new
        spin on the Dickens classic.  Ebenezer Blackadder is the
	nicest man in Victorian England, and is taken advantage of by
	everyone.  Accidentally visited by the Spirit of Christmas,
	Ebenezer finds out how his evil ancestors got ahead through
	constructive nastiness.  Furthermore, he finds out what his
	future will be if he remains nice...or if he turns nasty.
        BBC Video, color, 0:43.

    = Red Dwarf - a science fiction situation comedy.  The 23rd
      century mining spaceship _Red Dwarf_ suffered a radiation leak
      which killed the entire crew except for Dave Lister (Craig
      Charles), a chicken soup dispensing machine technician, third
      class.  The last surviving human, Lister has only three
      companions:
      > Cat (Danny John-Jules), a humanoid creature that evolved from
        Lister's pet cat during the three million years Dave was in
	stasis.
      > Rimmer (Chris Barrie), a hologram of Lister's dead bunkmate. 
        A pathetic, weak-willed, self-serving, incompetent man with a
	Napoleon complex (a perfect candidate for president of the
	U.S., or at least governor of Arkansas).  Lister loathes him,
	as do most sane beings.
      > Kryten (Robert Llewellyn), a prissy android they found at the
        beginning of the second season.  Kryten must obey all orders
	from sentient creatures, even those of the insane Rimmer.
      Hindered by Holly, the ship's computer, our heroes encounter
      such phenomena as time holes, white holes, black holes, wax
      droids, and vindaloo monsters.  Four seasons (Red Dwarf I -
      IV), six episodes each on two video cassettes.

Humorous Books:
  = _The Big Clinton Joke Book_ - published by Slick Times Magazine,
    this collectors item contains cartoons and satirical articles
    about the U.S. President and her husband.  It comes with a pair
    of three dollar bills and a set of sixteen stamps featuring a
    parody of the classic painting, "American Gothic."  $7.95,
    published by Slick Times, P.O. Box 1710, Valley Center, CA. 92082
    1-800-669-8444

  = _The PreHistory of The Far Side: A 10th Anniversary Exhibit_ by
    Gary Larson - although five years old, this book is still readily 
    available in book stores.  Not merely a collection of Far Side
    cartoons, this book contains such critical historical exhibits as
    Larson's earliest childhood drawings.  Also included are the
    story of how the insane one broke into cartooning for his local
    paper, and eventually into syndication.  Some of the screwups
    that have occurred over the years are detailed, many of them
    funnier than the original cartoon.  A picture of the species of
    owl lice named after the cartoonist is the crowning feature of 
    this book.  An ideal gift for someone who likes The Far Side but
    who doesn't like typical cartoon collections in book form.
    $12.95, 1989, Andrews and McMeel.
    
Humorous Software:
  = Barney Blaster 2.0 - a freeware After Dark(tm) screen blanker
    module for the Macintosh.  Barney Blaster depicts the widely
    loved and even more widely hated dinosaur cavorting on your
    screen, and then being violently obliterated. (A non-violent mode
    is also available.)  This program is unpreviewed since it only
    runs on Macs, but any program that blows up Barney can't be all
    bad (besides, it is free).  According to the author, Karl Bunker,
    version 1.0.1 of the module was downloaded over 6300 times from
    America Online(tm) -- more than any other module in their Mac
    libraries.  Contact: KarlBunker@aol.com

That's it.  Enjoy your holidays, and don't forget to send humorous
greeting cards, especially to people with no sense of humor.    {RAH}
--------------
Dave Bealer is a thirty-something mainframe systems programmer who
works with CICS, MVS and all manner of nasty acronyms at one of the
largest heavy metal shops on the East Coast.  He shares a waterfront
townhome in Pasadena, MD. with two cats who annoy him endlessly as he
writes and electronically publishes RAH.    FidoNet> 1:261/1129
Internet: dave.bealer@rah.clark.net
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