
--- Bumper Stickers Seen On The Information Superhighway

"More hay, Trigger?"  "No thanks, Roy, I'm stuffed!"

Been there.  Done that.  Reincarnated.

Don't touch that keyboard, we'll be right back.

A flashlight is a case for holding dead batteries.

"Are you sure it isn't time for a colorful metaphor?"

Lottery: a tax on people who are bad at math.

Error, no keyboard - press F1 to continue.

Cats know how we feel.  They don't give a damn, but they know.

I have a grip on reality, just not this particular one.

Eat the rich.  The poor are tough and stringy.

There's too much blood in my caffeine system.

Artificial intelligence usually beats real stupidity.

Cream rises to the top...so do dead fish.

Ask me about my vow of silence!

A bachelor never makes the same mistake once.

If you can read this, my cloaking device is on the fritz.

What's all this about hell fire and dalmations?

I'm not a complete idiot - several parts are missing.

Veni, vidi, velcro: I came, I saw, I stuck around.

Every time my ship comes in there's a dock strike.

Efficiency is a highly developed form of laziness.

What is the highest pyramid in the world?  Amway.

Guts: putting "Sysop" in your twit filter.

Why'd they bury Mozart?  Because he was decomposing.

Excuse me, Chief, my shoe is ringing.

Got a 486 for my wife - good trade.

You can fool some of the people and really piss them off.

If everything seems to go right, check your zipper.

The four food groups: Fast, Frozen, Instant and Chocolate.

What this country needs is a good 5-cent quarter.

Ensign Walnut approaches Dr. Crusher with caution.

Ted Kennedy's Bumper Sticker: My other car is underwater.

Do televangelists do more than lay people?

C'mon, where's your sense of adventure?

I'm not round.  I'm an oblate spheroid.

Gotta run, the cat's caught in the printer.

"Cher"ware - you have to send in proof of a tattoo.

Neutrinos have mass?  I didn't even know they're Catholic!

I wouldn't be caught dead with a necrophiliac.

Don't be so open minded that your brain falls out.

I know it all, I just can't remember most of it.

Can priests turn other food into God, or only cookies?

What goes around usually gets dizzy and falls over.

If reality wants to get in touch, it knows where I am.

Learn from your parents' mistakes - use birth control!

Hard work has a future payoff.  Laziness pays off now.

Give the gift of high velocity lead.

System error - press F13 to continue.

Friends help you move.  Real friends help you move bodies.

No, I'm not an elitist.  Why do you ask, peasant?

Did you expect mere proof to sway my opinion?

Smokey the Bear says, "Strip mining prevents forest fires."

Just sliding down the razor blade of life.

Quoth the Raven, "Eat my shorts!"

And you thought space was warped.

Government: not the solution, but the problem.

The most affectionate creature is the wet dog.

The secret of the universe is @*&^^^ NO CARRIER

My IRS check just bounced.

I can't think of anything that remotely fits the subject.

"Bother," said Pooh, as he struggled with his condom.

Raise your IQ: eat gifted children.

I was born alive.  Isn't that punishment enough?

One if by LAN, two if by C.

I pray to St. Francis of ANSI C.

Computing is a terminal condition.

My superiority complex is better than yours!

"Hey, can I get something to drink?"  Socrates

"I drank what?"  Socrates

Double your drive space - delete Windows!

Everybody stand back, he's got a MAGNET!

Everything's falling into place - on top of me.

I won't rise to the occasion, but I'll slide over to it.

Boldly going forward because we can't find reverse.

Karaoke is the Japanese word for "tone deaf."

Sinead O'Connor: a chia pet before adding water.

The is abuse.  Arguments are down the hall.

What is a "free gift?"  Aren't all gifts free?

